The Truth About Mental Illness
The truth about mental illness.
In my experience, I’ve never needed a trigger, I’ve never found a real reason or trigger to the moments anxiety and depression come over me. You don’t need an excuse to feel sad, alone, down, worthless, those thoughts just come from nowhere. It just happens, no warning, no freeing my mind of the thoughts. It could be as simple as someone’s tone of voice or body language where my mind instantly overthinks and over analyzes the situation, the person, the moods. Some people may know their triggers, but the amount of times I’ve talked to people, none of them have been able to pin point triggers, it’s all about the environment and the situations they were in. someone may have been extremely genuine and happy to be around you, having a great time, but you can over think that encounter excessively. I’ve revisited all the stupid and childish things I have said and done growing up and still do. There’s people that I’ve embarrassed myself so much around them that I try to avoid talking to them innocently. Even just asking how they’re doing I literally feel like an annoyance, I feel like I’m a burden and that I’m being judged. There hasn’t been a time where I haven’t felt like I’ve been judged and I’m sure many others with a mental illness have felt the same. I was always questioned by my parents growing up by saying ‘what do you have to be stressed about?’ ‘What’s so bad that you feel depressed, suicidal? You have a roof over your head, a job, a car.’ Okay, all those things are great, but just because the outside looks great, does not mean that it is justifiable and that you are feeling complete mentally and internally. That’s the thing with a mental illness, it may look great on the outside and others may envy you. However, in my experience it’s because I’ve felt alone, worthless, a burden, sometimes I don’t even know what I’m feeling. I sit there and cry and overthink every decision I’ve made and everything I’m in the process of doing. WE DON’T NEED A REASON! I’m sure many of us who battle with a mental illness would love nothing more than to not feel like that. Many of us don’t need or know the reason we feel down, if we did, it could be something to work on.