From the moment that my first book published to present day, the sweetest words that I get to hear when I'm approached by strangers are, "I've read/checked out your work and I absolutely love it! Keep it up!" Whether they're talking about my writing or their libido, I get a real kick out of knowing that I'm doing a great job and people genuinely enjoy what I do. That being said, let's get into my next blog which literally came out of a discussion with my best friend Valencia. Although I will take credit for setting up the scene aka building the house, I do have to give her credit for laying down the foundation so walk with me, take a look around, the queens collaborated so kiss the crowns!
I wanted to share this story with you because I felt like you would definitely appreciate it based on what you write about plus the other day I saw you posting jokes about being unemployed/looking for work so I knew I had to come thru n tell you the best unemployed/looking for work story! Not too long ago, I had an interview for a secretary job for a small construction company. I wasn't quite qualified for the job but I made it my business to read/memorize the company's website info and I had reference letters from previous employers so I felt prepared for a successful interview. As soon as I opened the office door my eyes focused on the chocolate drop walking up to me. Based on the grey hair on his head and beard I could tell he was older but his full & perfectly curved lips had me thinking about a completely different job, if you get my drift (and I know you do). I didn't even get a chance to introduce myself because as soon as he got to me, he grabbed my hand and lead me to his office. Yes, I did find the whole scene a bit weird but I went with it while thinking that there could've been a meeting going on and he didn't want any small talk to disrupt it. Once we were in his office and he closed the door, the shit literally flipped into something quite unexpected.
'Hi, my name is Linda Ross and I'm here to interview for-' is what I started to say when he cut me off with 'You're here to give me the cookie, I know. I ordered it hot and fresh so it would melt in my mouth. You're exactly what I wanted.'
When I say that I sat there shocked, appalled and turned on at the same time I really mean it! I was confused as fuck yet curious as to what he was referring to. I quickly replayed his words in my head to see if I could detect anything that could help me figure this shit out but nothing made sense so I just sat there and waited for him to say SOMETHING that could clear this shit up for me. All of a sudden he tilted his head and raised his eyebrows all while staring deep into me, almost like he was trying to figure me out. He was already standing so close to me that I could smell his cologne. My eyes scanned his broad chest & kept scrolling down like it was my Facebook timeline. The dress shirt and khaki pants didn't hide the fact that he had a nice package, if anything it enhanced it! Bitch, I was standing there with wet panties and a confused mind because I was supposed to be on a job interview yet I desperately needed to know what 'the cookie' was, if he really ordered one and why he thought I had it. Next thing I know, he's on his knees, his hands are creeping up my thighs and within seconds he found the flood gates and by that time girl, it was too late to turn back! Oh yeah, I gave him THE cookie and he ate every bit of this chocolate, yes indeed.
Now that is definitely a "CHILD, LET ME CLUTCH MY PEARLS AND GATHER MYSELF" moment! My only question is... did you get the job though?!