Tell It Like It Is

Why being honest about your sexual fetishes is important.

Photo by Morgan Sessions on Unsplash

When it comes to sexual relationships, there are some areas that can be a little tricky.  There are the average questions of, who's more sexually advanced than the other, is my physical physique up to par or, am I doing the things he likes?  What if your questions ranged further?  What if you had a sexual itch that needed to be scratched and struggling with how to ask without scaring him off?

It would be so simple if we all wore signs that stated our sexual desires.  There would be no questioning who preferred what.  Sadly, this is not the state of things, and we have to test the waters several times before finding the right match. This is a struggle I have dealt with a time or two before, and having my particular fetishes, some men find it to be more than they bargained for.  In the end, it's best that you consider a few things first.

The first thing you need to ask yourself is why you want to tell him.  Consider how long the two of you have been together; has it been weeks, months, or years?  Someone you have only been with a few weeks may not be the right person to confess, let alone try, any form of risky business with.  However, if the two of you have been dating, or married, for years, now might be the time to spice things up.

New positions can be fun and heighten an already fantastic sex life.  Granted, some of these more erotic positions can be difficult and are not made for everyone, I encourage you to at least try them.  You may discover something new about yourself and your partner.

Depending on the form of fetish you are looking to experiment with, you will need to ask if you trust this person enough to do said things to or with you.  When it comes to bondage I do not take it lightly.  A knot tied wrong can cause loss of circulation and joint dislocation.  If your plan is to be tied up, make certain you can place full trust in your partner.

Lastly, there is role play.  This can be a lot of fun, but be prepared for a sense of feeling silly and some giggles the first time around.  This is a good starter if you are looking to change up the monotony of your sex life, especially if it is something your partner has voiced interest in.

There are several reasons we don't speak up about taboo sex, the main ones being embarrassment or shame.  There has been a negative stigma placed on sex, especially the sort that goes beyond the more traditional forms.  It's this stigma that keeps many people silent.

Silence has a price. First of all, you are not being true to yourself and denying what you desire.  You've been honest enough to admit, at least to yourself, that this want or need is present.  Why deny its fruition?  

Secondly, by saying nothing you have officially doomed yourself to what might be subpar sex.  Sure, it's good now, but letting your inner fantasy out can improve your sex life dramatically.

Regardless of the fetish, you should never feel ashamed to voice it.  Keep in mind you cannot control the way in which your partner will react. Some may find the concept of domination and submission to be a bit too out there.  However, you may be quite surprised with it and discover something new about your partner, and better yet, yourself.  

Always remember this, it is only weird when you think no one else is doing it.

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Tell It Like It Is