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What You Need to Know About Sexuality and Intimate Relationships

Ignore the stereotype.

Sexuality has been around for many of years; however, humans are the only species that shape sexuality by gender. A man has a high pitched voice—oh he’s probably gay, because he sounds “girly.” A woman likes to keep her hair short and she has a firm handshake—well, she’s probably gay. Society shapes sexuality by focusing on the homosexual stereotypes. Heteronormativity is a big factor on why society is like this. Heteronormativity is where heterosexuality being enforced by laws, religious doctrines, and family and employment policies that explicitly and implicitly promote this as the norm. Heteronormativity is constantly and heavily portrayed in the media as being normal and natural.

Throughout history sexual nature has changed from reproduction to asserting dominance to creating extreme physical pleasure. Men are so focused on being the dominant one in a sexual relationship, and using the women for their own physical needs. That is why women’s sexuality has traditionally been associated with passivity and men’s sexuality with power. Why is it women are more likely to sell their sexuality as a form of work in order to try and provide for themselves and families? That's a question that probably won't get answered. 

There is still a double standard between men and women and their sexual behaviors. For example, a woman does not want to settle down in a relationship and would like to experiment sexually with different people. That woman is viewed as a “whore” or a “slut” for exploring herself and what brings her physical pleasure. However, if the person were a man, he would be seen as a “stud” or “the man” for being able to get into that many lady’s pants. But what about those who a non-binary? What category do they fall under? None. Simply because society does not want to hear about anyone's sexual encounters, unless you identify as a straight man. 

Phallocentric thinking is that which assumes that women need men for sexual arousal and satisfaction. This has influenced us as a society to think that women have two different types of orgasms, the clitoral and the vaginal. The vaginal orgasm was viewed to be the more superior of the two orgasms, and that could only be achieved by male penetration. Yet very few men seem to know how to get a woman to experience this one. 

Sexuality and power are linked in terms of equal rights for all. Only recently has the public become more accepting of homosexual rights. Although, knowing someone who is homosexual leads to a greater acceptance of same- sex rights without race being included. Homophobia can be seen as a system of social control, in the sense that it separates us into groups that either agree or disagree. 

There are many common myths about the LGBTQ community. One, children raised by a same-sex couple will end up gay themselves. False. Being gay is not something you can catch, or choose. Being a homosexual is something that an individual can not control. Two, most pedophiles are gay males. False. Most pedophiles actually identify themselves as heterosexual in their adult lives, and pedophilia is a fetish of theirs (ew). Three, gays are attracted to everyone of the same sex. False. If heterosexuals aren’t attracted to every single person of the opposite sex, why would homosexuals be attracted to every single person of the same sex? They wouldn’t.

Stop enforcing stereotypes within sexuality and intimate relationships. Let people be people. Unless it is directly affecting you, let others have sex with whoever they please, love whoever they please. Learn these myths and debunk them if in conversation. If you are a straight man, please, for the love of god, realize that you probably have not made a woman orgasm every time you've had sex. It will do wonders for your ego, and who knows? Maybe it might help you during sex in the future. 

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