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At some point in every relationship we go through a dry patch, a part in our relationship where we feel like sex is lacking, no longer what it used to be or in straightforward terms, boring.
Now here is the thing, don't be ashamed! Every relationship goes through it, even those with the most sexual relationships will. Either one party or both parties in the relationship will feel it.
10 Tips to Get Started:
- Talk to your partner; see if they have felt the same.
- Make sure you both know it is no one's fault, that this is a common thing.
- Make sure you both understand that feeling this way does not mean your relationship is failing or you are not compatible
- Make sure you are both open to trying to fix the problem
- Talk about your options, ideas and suggestions.
- Don't mock someone's suggestion, there is a reason they suggested it, why have they suggested it? Because it is something that interests them.
So, let's look at some things you can try do to spice things up.
- Go back to the start. Where did you meet? Where did you have that first date or kiss? Go back there and do it all again. Often going back where it started ignites the fire that you felt in those early weeks of the relationship.
- Go on dates, no I don't mean with others (unless you are happy with that more added at the end) You both go out separately, agree to "bump" into each other at a local bar. Talk to each other like you have just met, get to know each other. Talk about your likes, dislikes, sexual preferences. Treat it like you would a real date.
- Go on a fantasy date. By this I mean to include your fantasies, does she have a thing for firemen? Dress up as one, or tell her you are one. Does he have a thing for teachers? Tell him you're a teacher. The point of this one is you both play a different person; you are not who you are. You step away from real life and try to make a fantasy come true
- Add toys, it is the number one way, try something new that you both have never done, nipple clamps, collar, restraints, anal beads, cock rings. Whatever you have never tried, get one of them and introduce it to your sex.
- Recount a moment in your life, like your first date but try a sexual moment, both of you think of that one time that when someone asks you to tell them back a sexual moment you will never forget. That is the moment that comes into mind. Now don't go telling them about one with an ex, it has to be one that is with them.
- Fake it! No, I do not mean an orgasm, I mean role play, fake who you are at home one night, fake being tied up and kidnapped, whatever your fantasy is let them come alive with your partner.
- Bring people in! Now, this is not for everyone, so don't do it if only one of you is comfortable and happy with it. You have a few choices here, you can find someone for just one night of fun at home, or you can go on dates.
Now, these dates are not real. You don't have to go home with the person, both of you have a date, in the same place at the same time. Sometimes seeing your partner with someone else can spark interest, sexual interest.
At some point in the night get talking to each other, don't leave your dates though! Get them both to talk, that way they get a date from it as well, a real one that could go somewhere!
- The chase, now by this I mean chase your partner! We get into a relationship, and we know we have won. So what do we do? We stop trying to win them. Don't! Go out and try to chat your partner up, see if they accept. If not, try something better. When you have someone trying to get a date or a chance with you it is a significant boost in self-confidence and sexual tension. Remember how it felt to have people coming over to you and try to get lucky? Well, that is what you are trying to do here.
So, step out of that comfort zone and do something different, get to know each other again, why? Because I am sure since you met both of your sexual preferences have changed, either a bit or a lot.
Some people find over time they want more or different things, and all these techniques can be used to talk about it, and figure a way to make them a reality.