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In a world where the adorable faces of Jigglypuffs and Clefairys roam free, you might be surprised by the lack of innocence behind the scenes of the Pokémon universe. While the show and games were presumably created for a younger crowd, the adult fanbase is enjoying it just as much. Have you ever looked closely at Cloyster? Or accidentally spouted out the name of a Pokémon instead of asking your girlfriend to bed? It wouldn’t be the first time, as the fine line between sexual innuendos and Pokémon culture continues to blur. Sex and gender has always been an implicit topic throughout the Pokémon world. While each creature is labeled with a gender, the two sexes almost always look the same. Rather than simply smile awkwardly as Kakuna uses harden, however, Filthy is uncovering the hidden sexual messages behind your favorite pocket monsters. So zipper up your Gyarados but let your Poké Balls hang free, welcome to the sexy world of Pokémon.
Everyone has a bondage phase, but one Pokémon seems to have a little more than just a fetish for it. Machoke is a fighting Pokémon, but he does more than just kick and punch. His finger-curling, tight grip would force any woman to classify as a water type. So next time your girlfriend asks for extra violence in your sex life, throw her a seismic toss. She might name you the honorary sex Machamp, just remember to choose a safe word beforehand.
Charmander, of type Fire, first of its generation, breather of flames, and charmer of women. Wait, what was that last one? You heard it right, everyone’s favorite orange critter might be a little less innocent than that stuffed animal you sleep with. Say its name slowly and you’ll hear “charmin’ her.” Obviously you can Charmander in the bedroom if you so desire. But be careful, if used effectively, the woman’s newfound water type is super effective against fire!
With something that looks exactly like male genitalia stuck in the middle of this Pokémon’s forehead, it’s not hard to find the sexual innuendo behind this creature. Rhyhorns are strong, thick Pokémon in the game; Coincidentally, or not depending on how you look at it, similar adjectives are constantly used to describe the male organ. So if you’re feeling extra horny one night, tell your partner to take a Rhydon your Rhyhorn.
Although Cubone comes from a sad background, as it lost its mother at a young age, the ground type Pokémon has had plenty of fun in its life. Forget the fact that it walks around with a skull mask and a bone all the time, this small creature has Cuboned his way to Pokémon stardom. Standing less than 2’ tall, Cubone is the epitome of size doesn’t matter.
Put some pants on! Oh, wait, it’s just a Pokémon, and that’s just a stinger. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who has confused Beedrill’s curious bulge below the waist for something other than the typical stinger of a bee. While this bug-type Pokémon is supposedly found in forests, it appears more commonly in cheesy pick-up lines. “Honey, I’d like to Beedrill you against that desk.” Hopefully you’re smoother than that, but you get the picture. Be sure to discuss this phenomenon with your children as well, it’s never too soon to have “the birds and the Beedrills” talk.
Every man’s goal in bed is to get their female counterpart to Squirtle. Whether it’s in the form of a simple Bubble, or, if you’re experienced enough, a heavy flowing Hydropump, female ejaculation is the ultimate sign that you’ve achieved sexual immortality. So next time you’re messing around in bed, remember everyone’s favorite blue creature. It might just be the one that brings you to Victory Road.
If dogs are man’s best friend, then Pikachus are that of every Pokémon trainer. The face of the entire Pokémon world, fans worldwide fell in love with the electric-type creature the second Ash picked him up in Professor Oak’s lab. His evolution, however, might not be as innocent as the adorable, fan favorite pocket monster we’ve all grown to love. So what’s the difference between Pikachu and Raichu? You can’t ask a girl to Pikachu back at your place, but she can Raichu all night long.
Probably the cutest ball of fluff in the Pokémon world, Jigglypuff still packs a punch. But along with being a cute creature, she also resembles every man’s elusive fantasy growing up: the female breast. The skin-pink, supple, round ball of love looks like something off a Victoria’s Secret advertisement. If you really want to impress your Pokémon lover, you might consider asking if you can “Squirtle all over your Jigglypuffs.”
This one hits right in the childhood. If Rhyhorn is the symbol for the male anatomy, then Cloyster is its female counterpart. Everyone’s favorite shell Pokémon, the evolution of Shellder will make any man stare and any woman feel at home. Just make sure to use protection, Rhyhorns get aggressive when pleasuring a Cloyster.
A Word on Genders of Pokémon
Do Pokémon have genders?
Pokémon are typically androgynous, meaning it is hard to decipher whether they are male or female creatures. Obviously Pokémon have no visible genitalia, which is what makes them androgynous. While in the games you can select a Pokémon to view its gender, Pokémon cards do not differentiate based on sex, and there is no visible difference between male and female Pokémon.
However, there are two Pokémon that do not follow the pattern of androgyny. Nidoran is the name of two separate Pokémon, and they are differentiated by gender signs, showing up as Nidoran♂and Nidoran♀when you spot them. The creatures are similar in appearance, with the female being lighter in color and slightly smaller than the male. Their evolved forms have different names, which are Nidorino and Nidorina, and their further evolved forms are Nidoking and Nidoqueen. Why these Pokémon are the only gender-differentiated is a mystery that only the creators of Pokémon can answer.
An interesting phenomenon is how people often impose gender upon particular Pokémon based on their colors and appearance. This says a little something about how we perceive sexuality and gender in human society, as well.