No More Abstinence Education

Do you remember asking your parents about where babies come from? Did you ever hear your mom say that you came from her tummy? Did you ever watch cartoons or hear your parents talk about a stork that delivers babies? I'm sure to assume that most of the time you asked about sex or wanted to know about how reproduction happens, you were sheltered or shut down because you were so young and couldn't possibly expect to know about it. When parents do this, it's ignorance on their part to assume that the child will grow up to wait and have sex when they are married. But what they don't know is that this child will hide from their own parents they are sexually active, that they look up porn on the internet or that they read about sex and how it's performed. It's a form of abstinence education in the home that needs to stop. Instead of helping a child pursue the love of their own bodies and being informed on adult choices they would be making later in life, we're leading them down a path that could end in more STD's and STI's being transmitted or worse, pregnancy.

I'm glad to hear the statistics in the news that some states are seeing a downward trend in teenage pregnancy, but I also see that there are more problems with young girls still being left in the dark. And it isn't just with sex, it's with their periods and with the changes their bodies undergo, be it on the pill or when they are experiencing their first relationship. Not only would that be a concern but any role models in the home, like their mothers or other female figures and in magazines that talk about dieting or seeing themselves overweight is enough to make them think no one is on their side.

I've been with the same boy since college in a longing and wonderful relationship for the past five years. I've told my fiance that I would want to pursue an open conversation about sex, especially when any future child starts asking about sex or the question of where babies come from. I also know that puts me in a dilemma. I'm with a man who wants to keep children sheltered from it until they are at the average age in which teenagers begin to experiment with sex. My problem is that I do not want to leave them in the dark for so long. My sex talk was with my period. I will never want to put any of my own possible children in the future back in that same position. It made me feel like I should be ashamed of being a woman, that it is my responsibility for everything that happens in the world. Instead of being on a positive plane with my body, I was taking the stairs downward and learning to hate everything there was about myself.

I know they are going to keep teaching abstinence education in the Bible Belt of the Southeastern portion of the United States. But if I can arm my own future children with the knowledge and information they need to keep themselves safe and freely experiment with whomever they please, then my job is done and my conscious is clean. I've decided to look up when and why it is important now to talk about sexual matters early before they are an adolescent and begin to know who they are sexually and spiritually.

Sex education early increases prevention.

There is this scene from the Addams Family movie where Wednesday and Pugsley are sitting in the waiting room of the hospital for their mother and father while Mortica Addams is having Pubert. She turns to the girl who talks about the abstinence story of where babies come from and publicly states that her parents had sex and therefore the creation from the union generates a child. At least Mortica is right on one point. Teaching your child early helps them understand even the most basic information about sex.

A post from earlier this year on Today's Parent says that children are naturally curious since birth. The comedian Jo Koy often talked about his young son in his comedy skit You Don't Want to Make Him Angry about how the boy would constantly play with himself at home or when people are visiting them. Comedian Jeff Foxworthy said his little girls used to flip up the bottom of their skirts and dresses, flashing their underwear when they greeted people. In fact, many people when they were children were often doing things that seemed embarrassing or hilarious, but just involved the natural and healthy way they were trying to understand their own sexuality and sex in general.

Tara Johnson, a sex education specialist in Ontario that was interviewed in the article says that children learn form their parents habits and rules that are socially acceptable. If you teach your child at an early age that masturbation is a private matter done in the comfort of their own home, or sex in general and other forms of sex, then they will learn form an early age that this type of behavior is meant for private audiences and not something to do in public. When trying to talk about this type of information or stopping a child from doing it in public, it is best to avoid scolding them about their behavior and come down to their eye level and in turn, tell them in a polite voice that it is something no one does in public, but something they can do in their own room.

Sex educators also agree with using the correct medical names of body parts so that way children have a concrete understanding of the word and they can learn to have a healthy relationship with their own body. I still have my old anatomy book from college, maybe showing them pictures of what everything looks like might help them understand. Better yet, it might also make things easier for them to know that everyone has these same areas of their bodies be it a boy or a girl.

But all of this educating your child about sex is the most important because it teaches them consent and respect for other people and their bodies. If you see your child touching someone else's body inappropriately or without question, then you need to explain to your child that those areas on someone else's body belongs to them. Only themselves, their parents, and their doctors can touch down there.

I want to hopefully have children one day who might be open in communicating about sex and maybe learn to be respectful about their bodies and anyone else's. I want to see any boys I might have be protective of their bodies and any of their sexual partners as well. I want them to be open to me about if they are gay, if they are wanting to be someone else, I'd want to be the one person who they can always tell them something's wrong or why they feel this way. If I start them out early, then hopefully there is a way to keep the path towards open communication still open for anyone and everyone. Even if it means I make enemies with other mothers or educators. A body is just a vessel to the next chapter in life, we are merely just characters written on a singular page. If we treat our bodies and our sexuality properly with love and care, then hopefully we will provide a better alternative than the movie Idiocracy.