Miz Steff
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My First Time

A tale of laughter, failed dirty talk, and woe.

It's funny how life works out. I was in the middle of writing a post about my old friend, detailing the first time we met, on through to us hooking up. However, that is not how this post will go. Yes, I have been jilted. Yes, I was upset all of this initially happened, but I am not now and just want to share my hilarious first-time story. 

Sage...there is a lot I could say about this brother. We met in high school, crushed on each other for 7 years but never acted on our feelings until 2014. I was a virgin before I decided to sleep with Sage. I stayed a virgin until I was 24 for many reasons, but mainly because of fear. The unknown is always scary and I didn't even know if I would be good at it. No matter what my mother, sister, Nana, cousins, and aunts say about our stuff being so good it will make a man addicted to you. I didn't know if I knew how to do it right.

Sage was a very handsome guy. 5,7 chocolate skin, big juicy never chapped lips and nice hair. He had a gap but it wasn't too big that it looked bad. He was a wonderful singer/producer that was trying to start his own record label with his friends. His music was very good especially his slow songs. It showed more of his heart... If only he always acted like that guy in his song, instead of the bum ass fuckboy trying but failing to make a name for himself. *sigh, whoooo saaaah. Deep breath. Let it go*

OK. The first night we had sex I was so nervous I didn't know what to do with myself. I had gotten a red teddy as a gift from a friend of mine that showed off my best asset, my breasts. More like TIG OL BITTIES (sorry)! I cleaned my place, put my dog away, took a nice hot shower making sure to clean my yoni thoroughly because I don't play about smells. I shaved everything with my coochie cream and then moisturized my skin with my best-smelling lotion. I had gone to the store a few days before and picked up some flavored lube for an added taste when he decided to snack on my pussy. I went with the peach flavor...very good. I had made sure to eat yogurt, fruit, and drink lots of water all that week to also make sure that I was as sweet as I could be.

One thing about me is before I do anything I do research. I read every article I could get my hands on about how to suck a man's dick, tricks, techniques, if it was out there I read it. I even practiced on my battery operated friend just to make sure I had it down. I did some hip stretching exercises to make sure I was opened enough so that he wouldn't hurt me. I was ready. But no article could have prepared me for what happened.

I was so scared to open the door when he finally showed up. My hands were so sweaty and my heart was racing. He came in smelling like weed and cologne, it actually wasn't a bad smell just different. It was on from the time the door opened. He sat on my couch and told me to straddle him. He sucked on my big breasts and fingered me a little. I loved when he bit my nipples and pulled hard while sucking. That shit right there is great! Then he flipped me over, took off my panties, looked at me and said: "I'm about to eat the fuck out of your pussy."

Let's pause here for a minute. Everybody has their own thing that really sets them off during sex. That night I found out that I liked my nipples bitten and sucked hard and softly alternately, but I always fantasized about having my pussy eaten by a man with big lips and an expert tongue...something Sage was not.

OK play. Eat the fuck out of my pussy he did not. Go to town like he was bringing it home but missed it by a mile, now that he did. It wasn't awful but I knew I wasn't going to cum that way. Plus he didn't stay down there long enough to do anything but make my pussy sopping wet, and not entirely from my juices either.

I was caught up in the moment though so I let it go. I tasted myself on him and that set me on fire again. I sucked all my juices from his lips while he enjoyed that shit. He backed off from me and stood up rubbing his dick through his pants. This is the part of the story where things get funny and go south.

He stood up and began rubbing himself and sucking in air through his teeth. "Close your eyes and open your mouth. I got a big lollipop for you."

What the fuck did this guy just say? That was the only thing that was running through my mind. I tried so hard to keep myself from laughing in his face. Really?! I mean I know I was new to the sex game and all but I didn't think men actually said stuff like that. I did as I was told but only opened my mouth partially so he mostly got teeth when he entered. Sorry to all the guys reading this. The taste almost had me wanting to spit his dick back out but I quickly got used to it. His dick was big and he was uncircumcised which made giving him head so much more fun.

There is nothing quite like watching a man fall apart while you are sucking him off. It's a wonderful power. I sucked him so good that I thought he was going to shove his dick all the way down my throat. He was about to explode so he pulled out and got himself under control. He forgot his box of condoms and had to walk to his car with a hard dick. I would think that would be the first thing you make sure to have in your pocket before going to a girl's house that you are about to smash. But maybe that's just me.

When he got back we went to my room and got down to business. He slobbered on my pussy some more and then put the condom on. It didn't hurt when he entered me because like I said I did my hip stretching exercises which opened my hips so that sex would be easier. All I felt was pressure. No pleasure, just pressure. He slowly kept moving and I started moaning. He thought it was because he was giving it to me, but honestly, I was uncomfortable. After a few minutes, he flipped me over and entered from behind. This is my favorite position so far...I know that's not saying much and many of you are probably more experienced than me, but seeing as missionary and doggie style were the only two moves we did the nasty in, I chose doggie as my favorite. He came and almost fell asleep and then left. This pretty much sums up our sex life. I suck his dick, he slobbers on my pussy, we start in missionary, and end in doggie.

I'm not saying it was all bad but it was more funny than good. His commentary made for most of the funny conversations my best friend and I had the day after Sage came over. One night when he flipped me over he slapped me on my ass, which I found out I liked, and said "I'm 'bout to fuck the shit out of this pussy."

In my head, I thought "Boy you ain't 'bout to fuck the shit out of nobody." I faked an orgasm, clenched my pussy walls tight and jerked, just make him stop. He never made me cum the whole time we had sex...ever.

Another time when he had me on my back with my legs back and my ankles damn near behind my head, he looked down at me and said, "I'm 'bout to fuck you so good you won't be able to walk right tomorrow." Well, I walked around just fine the next day thank you very much, sir.

Sage taught me a lot. I am very good at sucking dick, I like guys that are uncircumcised, a man must know how to eat my pussy so good that I cum at least once before he enters me. I want more foreplay and less rabbit fucking. If I wanted to be bounced around like a rag doll I would go ride a roller coaster or something. I want someone who I can experiment with and try other positions with. I don't want to know exactly what is coming next and get bored. I want to actually CUM with a real live man and not my fingers or my battery operated blue dick.

Sage was a great lesson in what not to do or say during sex. I may not be experienced in sex but through masturbation, I have learned what my body likes, wants, and needs to have pleasure. Sage was not cutting it. He thought he was and I did make him think he was tearing me up, but honestly, it was laughable at best. Again, I am no expert but I know what I like and a guy rubbing his junk saying he has a lollipop for me is not where it's at.

Sage and I are no longer friends or fuck buddies. I moved out of state pursuing my dreams and he stayed in Texas doing.........(I'm not sure)..............? No hard feelings though. He may or may not become famous with his music, but to me, he will always be the lame ass fuckboy with the dumbest sex commentary.

"I got a lollipop for you." Boy bye.

Love always,

Miz Steff


I guess some of the comments Sage made have been buried in my subconscious because they were just too....for a lack of a better word stupid to keep circling in my brain. Now that I have a clearer head I'm starting to remember more of them. This one I think takes the cake for the most ridiculous comment ever made by a man in history. So we were having sex for the first time, and while he was hittin' it from the back it was actually starting to feel good. I said "Oh God!" loud enough for him to hear and Sage said, "I'm not a god baby I'm just a man." .......I stopped moaning after that. I know I'm not the only girl that has experienced this. 

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