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Sex is awesome! Except when it's not. Ever have someone go down on you and the whole time you are just thinking: please make it stop or please let this almost be over? I've been there. Here is a guide on how to have a more successful oral pleasure experience with your partner.
1. Speak up.
He or she is not going to know what they are doing wrong if you don't say anything. A closed mouth don't get fed! If you are too shy to tell your partner you don't like something I would question why you feel that way. Is it because you don't want to come across as needy? Is it because you really like the person? Well on all accounts you should tell them because if they don't react positively to being told they are doing something wrong then maybe this isn't someone you should be having sex with. Communication is an important part of having a positive sex life so speak up! The worst that can happen is the other person leaves, which in thus case might be a good thing if your partner can't respect the way you like things.
It's not all about telling but about showing. Move your partner's head in the right direction. If you are a dude show her or him what pace you like. Don't yank them but gently guide. Remember: this is sex where both parties are meant to be respected and appreciated so keep that in mind when guiding your partner towards your sweet spots. Guide implies taking charge of the situation. Again, there is nothing wrong with being a little bossy, you like what you like. Don't be afraid to show your partner.
Above all else be encouraging, be vocal! If you like something show it and encourage more of it. I know it's harder for the men to be expressive due to cultural standards and such but even if you just suck air in through your teeth or flex your hips, its a sign to your partner that they are in the right place. Don't be afraid to tell your partner about what you like and encourage them through both words and actions. Sex is all about communicating so please stop accepting lousy head. Speak up, guide, and encourage when they find your sweet spots.
Bonus: General Tips:
1. Be Patient
There is nothing worse than when your partner is rushing you to finish! I understand situations happen and you and your partner may want to get it on in a limited time frame but overall good things come to those who wait. Be patient with your partner. And that goes on either end. Sometimes when our partners are not doing the best job, we get discouraged and frustrated that it hasn't happened yet and want to stop. My advice would be to take breaks as needed, communicate with your partner about what you want and need in order to get to where you need to be. Most partners would like you to finish just as much as they would like to finish so please keep this in mind when you start to loose patience with your partner.
2. Be Excited
Sex is a wonderful thing. Even if you find your partner is not hitting your spots, be excited by the opportunity to show them what you like to get your legs squirming! There is almost nothing sexier than getting to know your partner better. By being excited, in turn it makes your partner excited and makes for a better sex life.
These general tips are based on personal experiences. They are also based on stories I have heard from friends. I am hoping these tips encourage both men and women to stop accepting things they don't like with a closed mouth (haha metaphorically speaking).
Above all else, be safe out there! Happy licking and sucking!