I've slept with a lot of people in my days, and I've noticed that there are a lot of issues with the way we deal with sex. Our society, as a whole, has really unhealthy attitudes and "knowledge" about sex. Today, I'm going to focus on the knowledge aspect of sex.
More specifically, I'm going to discuss the fact that most men don't seem to know how to finger a girl properly. Usually, they just jam a finger in or rub the labia like they're trying to scrub the front of a car. That shit's painful, and it's killed the mood for me at least a couple dozen times.
Heck, I won't lie. I've kicked men out of bed for being shitty lovers before, and yes, not knowing how to finger a girl makes you a shitty lover. (Did I mention this is a common occurrence?)
I feel like I need to do something about this. So, I'm going to teach everyone how to finger a girl the right way in this guide.
First, prep yourself — and your hands.
Before I get into the details on how to finger a girl, I want every guy reading this article to look at their hands. Look at them, and observe them.
Now, guys, you might be shocked to hear this, but most men's hands are rough. If you do physical labor, your hands are really rough and you also might have all sorts of grime on your hands. You might also want to trim your nails, since long nails are one of the top male turn offs for women.
Rough, dry, grimy hands do not a happy vagina make. Neither do long, claw-like fingernails. In fact, it's worse than just sexual displeasure. If you don't wash your hands and trim your nails, you might actually cause an infection down there.
That's not only nasty, it's painful, too. So, if you want to start fingering a girl, make sure your hands are clean and your nails are trimmed. This is crucial for her sanitation, safety, and health.
Whip out some lube.
If you want to finger a girl well, make a point of using a good water-based lubricant when you do it. Jamming fingers in when they're bone dry can hurt a girl. It doesn't feel good, and many girls do not make enough "juice" to go in dry, even when excited.
You don't need too much lube, either. Just a little dab will do. If no lube is available, spitting in your hand can work in a pinch.
Tease the outside of her vagina first, and do it gently.
This is a two-part step in my lesson on how to finger a girl.
First, let's talk about teasing a girl. There is such a thing as foreplay before heavy foreplay. So, before you start fingering her, kiss her, nibble her neck, lick her nipples, and do other things to her. This gets her excited and wet, which helps immensely with fingering her.
When you're ready to start fingering a girl, lube your hand up, and slowly graze the outside of her labia with the tips of your fingers. Slowly play with her down there, just running your fingers up and down the folds without actually going in. This is teasing, and it's hot.
Next, let's talk about gentleness. Girls like gentlessness when they're being fingered and teased. Learning how to finger a girl properly means learning how to be gentle.
Gentleness is NOT:
- Scrubbing her inner labia and outer labia like it's a grease-lined pan. What you see on porn isn't actually pleasurable to women. Surprise! This will hurt her in most cases.
- Jamming a single finger in and jackhammering it in and out. What even is this, anyway?
- Grinding your thumb against her clitoris like it's an elevator button. Why is this such a popular sex move with guys? Like, do they really get surprised when girls swat them away when they do this?
Gentle means gentle. Handle a girl's pussy like you would fine china!
When she's really teased up and rowdy, start stroking her clit GENTLY.
Most women can get seriously awesome orgasms through clitoris stimulation — either via eating her out or by gently rubbing her there. Most girls love having fingers lightly graze the top of the clit.
If she's very sensitive down there, don't go through the folds to find her clit. Rather, just used your fingers to stroke the clitoris through her labia. Play around with different strokes, and let her moans guide you to where to touch.
Remember, most girls need steady clitoral stimulation to orgasm. So, keep at it while you put fingers inside her.
Here's how to finger a girl.
If you're ready to penetrate her with your fingers, add more lube to your hand and slowly insert one finger into her, palm facing up. Keep stroking her clit, and slowly tease her with your finger until her hips start bucking. Then, add a second finger in.
This is where you really learn how to finger a girl well. Use those two fingers to make a "come hither" gesture. This massages her G-spot, the part of her vagina that feels a bit different to your finger tips. A huge amount of nerve endings are in the G-spot, so many women end up going crazy when they feel it.
Most women will tell you if they want you to go faster or harder with the G-spot massage, or with the clitoral stimulation. You will need to find your rhythm, but once it gets steady, you'll quickly find her getting more and more turned on by each stroke you give her.
If you keep this up, you will very likely see her ejaculate — or as most people call it, squirt. It can take a while for a woman to reach orgasm, since the average woman takes about 20 minutes to climax. However, you'll definitely find it's time well-spent.
Lastly, let her say when to stop.
A lot of guys who actually do know how to finger a girl don't realize how intense an orgasm they can give a girl. It can be a bit too much to bear for some. So, if you hear a girl say "STOP! TOO INTENSE!" she means it. If she's just moaning, that's alright. She's riding the wave, and loving it.