At the young age of 17, I had sex for the first time. It wasn't glorious nor was it life changing, but it was fun and exciting—until my boyfriend couldn't get more than an inch inside of me. I was shocked at first, but then upset. I had been dreaming about this day since I was very young. While I did stop dreaming for awhile when I started hitting puberty, the dreams came back in full force by the time I was 13 and had my first boyfriend. Now with my second, I believed I was ready for sex and wanted to have a go. But it turned from a fun time to me crying over the fact that I couldn't please him or myself sexually. Although we didn't finish the act, the next day he was halfway inside of me and I counted that as my first time. I was still frustrated with myself though, and I tried fingering myself often to stretch myself out.
This continued for quite some time. Whenever we had a moment alone he would be inside of me trying to stretch me out, though those moments were short and scarce. I did my research and found out that this is called vaginismus. This is when your body creates a physical block in the vagina, preventing any object from entering. It affects many women, and oftentimes was a mental thing. It made perfect sense for me as I've never been able to put in a tampon, let alone someones dick, so thus, I kept on trying. Flash forward a year and a half from that first time. Still with him, and away at college, I finally figured out how to cure my vaginismus. My roommate had gone home for the weekend and he came up to see me. After hours of foreplay I had asked him to go inside of me. At first it was hard and it hurt but with the help of some lube and relaxing words, he was soon halfway inside me. Switching positions to me riding him, he was finally all the way in me, and it was the most incredible feeling. Sex is beautiful. I highly suggest it. So this leads to my conclusion: how I cured my vaginismus. I really don't know how I did it. Heres what I think helped me a lot:
- Be alone, just you two. It's hard to be comfortable if your parents or roommate is going to walk into the room any second.
- Use lube. Use a lot of it. It'll make sex more fun and comfortable for both of you.
- Explore your own body while you're wet. I found that I wasn't able to do it until I stuck my finger all the way inside myself, found the block, and was relaxed enough to go beyond that. Is that doesn't make sense, it's okay. Put a finger in your pussy and you'll figure it out.
- Just relax! You won't be able to do anything if you're nervous. I promise you will have more fun with your partner or yourself too.