'Ass Effect': XXX Parody

When video games entered the movie business with stinkers like Super Mario Bros, it was consequential that eventually we would get porn parodies of video games. Such scenes are big business lately as video games are on the rise and get as much attention (if not more,) than that of blockbuster movies. The porn business is beating some film producers to the punch these days, grabbing the idea of making a game into movie before Hollywood even picks up on it. Enter Mass Effect, a huge multi platform RPG video game. The story of Mass Effect is set when humans have made contact with the other alien races of the universe and you play as the military commander of a star ship.

We'll bang, OK?

The game created a fair amount of controversy when it was first released as it allowed the player to have an intimate relationship with a human or alien on board the starship. The controversy was misguided as the intimate scene was about a minute long and pretty tame. Digital Playground obviously intended to fix that though, and as a result, we get Ass Effect: A XXX Parody. The producer or director of this must be a fan, because the scene appears to take place some time during Mass Effect 3. Digital Playground decided the most desirable female character on board the shop was Liara; an Asari alien with telepathic powers. Rachel Starr plays Liara, an odd choice because Liara sounds quite mature while Rachel Starr has a young sounding voice. I think this is due to it being a parody and to avoid any legal wranglings Digital Playground might encounter. Other than that, Rachel Starr is stunningly beautiful and looks just as good done up as a blue Asari alien. Her 34D breasts are pierced, which gives them a kind of extraterrestrial feel. The makeup artist did a great job with Liara's facial features and her scalp. They got all the freckles and various facial markings for the character right . Digital Playground did not miss a beat when recreating the character for film.

Military commander Shepherd is played by the comically named Erik Everhard; putting in a brutal tough guy performance in here, which is well done. The scene seems to be set in the Normandy Starship. Shepherd approaches Liara about the attack on the Citadel.

The baby is not yours... it's the Krogan's...

For people who haven't played the game, Liara is an intel agent who provides information for a price. Liara makes out she is busy, which angers Shepherd. Liara and Shepherd then go on to argue about a liaison Shepherd had with fellow crew mate Miranda Lawson (equally attractive in the game, let's hope for a follow up.)

The scenario has them baiting each other jealously; a scenario most of us have been through at work with an attractive colleague. It adds to the realism of the scene in a science fictional setting.

What happens on the Normandy, stays on the Normandy...

Liara storms off, only to be followed by Commander Shepherd in aggressive pursuit. He's forceful with her, much to Liara's delight, stating 'I'm still your Commander!'

Liara is forceful back, retorting 'I won't follow orders like Miss Lawson' before pleasing her commander orally.

The chemistry is decent between the two characters; it probably can't get too imitate, seeing how Rachel is painted blue. That said, she still makes a mess during the blowjob scene, which is probably most viewers' preference.

Both Erik and Rachel remained semi clothed throughout the duration of the scene, which was a bit disappointing. Personally I would have liked to have seen a fully naked blue Rachel Starr. I think this was to keep with the Mass Effect theme of it all and not stray from the audience. The costumes were terrific; the wardrobe staff want commending for their contribution. Liara's costume looked like an exact match for the one she wears in Mass Effect 3, which would not be easy to make because of its futuristic style. Erik has an N7 jacket complete with dog tags. Although he doesn't look like the original Shepherd avatar, he could definitely act as a renegade Shepherd. The sex gets quite acrobatic at times, Rachel hanging onto the pipes in the hull of the ship while Erik gives her a fireman's lift. We don't see much of Rachel's blue behind, but enough so fans won't be disappointed. The scene being filmed at the hull of the ship is a bit of a nod to when Shepherd sleeps with a more criminal crew member in Mass Effect 2. Rachel has some sexy things to say during the sex, but it's not the best stuff I've heard. It was more to make sure Erik was pleasing her. Although her oral skills are good, she likes to make messy work of it. Overall, Ass Effect is good for fans but might leave casual porn fans with a dry taste in their mouth. It was my first Digital Playground scene I had watched and I wasn't disappointed. I enjoyed it.

Overall 3 out of 5.