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Hey everyone, welcome to the 3rd installment of Ask a Submissive! As always if you have any more questions for me whatsoever, you can ask them on my twitter @SubSaysHello, or if you're too shy, you can shoot them at my tumblr anonymously.
Aren’t you scared of people taking advantage of the fact that you’re a young female submissive?
Absolutely. Every day. When younger girls are on these fetish websites and going to munches in the community, I would love if there was never a worry about people abusing them sexually or emotionally but unfortunately that is still not the case, and that sucks. I did write an article called “How to Find a Dom” and it’s really helpful at vetting the bad people.
I’m always really careful with who I associate with and who I give the power to hurt me. That’s what it all comes down to!
There have been way too many times where I’ve seen young submissives be taken advantage of by Doms who don’t even have to be older. In one instance, they just assumed that the young submissive knew exactly what she wanted and what she was talking about when she spoke to him about her limits regarding play. It's the duty of all consenting parties to ensure that everyone knows what's going on before anything starts, or someone'll get hurt.
Another instance that I've witnessed actually led to emotional and psychological abuse of a female submissive.
Another instance led to physical abuse, where the submissive female couldn’t get out of the relationship.
This stuff is scary, but you always have to remember that there are good people out there in the community too, who play safe, by the rules and practice R.A.C.K. (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) and act in a way that is also SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual).
Are you only active in the bedroom, or does He have power over you 24/7?
Sir may hold as much power over me as He wishes. He knows that.
In general, there are MANY types of relationships, and this can be seen in the amount of time spent in each space for each person. So it can vary from occasional kink where they only participate or play at certain times or once every so often, to a 24/7 live in scenario where that kink role is literally your life.
For me specifically, in any scene, He holds every ounce of power. I wouldn’t define my relationship with my primary Dom as “24/7” necessarily, but it’s pretty darn close. I mean, when we’re out shopping or at one of our parents’ places for dinner or for an event, we don’t seem to have a lot of power play going on, but there are always still rules and courtesies in place for me so I behave. Things like asking Him for permission to do something, or notifying Him of what I’m doing or where I am. That’s mostly from me being a considerate and well-behaved princess though.
Have you always been submissive?
Heck yes. Loving every minute of it. It’s kind of nice to know that I’m 100% submissive since it lets me explore my kinks and limits much better in that submissive/slave-like role. For example, I don’t need to explore ANY switch or Dom-type concepts or play since I know for a fact that I’m not interested in it whatsoever.
I can, however, keep experimenting with things like wax play, energy play, more rope suspension, etc.
You sometimes identify as a little, what is that?
Being a little is all about age-regression. I don’t currently have a Daddy or a Caregiver to play with, so I don’t regress very often anymore. If I do, it’s usually to about the age of 5-7, and involves a lot of attention, stuffies, chicken nuggets, sippy cups, bows, etc. Basically think of me as a LITERAL five year old and treat me as such.
I have regressed as little as 3 year old before, which was a lot of fun and super safe-feeling, but that is a RARE occurrence now.
I’ll give you all a little disclaimer here: I call myself a chameleon, since it’s really easy for me to switch submissive roles like that as per the wishes of different Doms. I haven’t been a little in a scene or in play in so long!
Don’t you… you know…. Get hurt?
I wish you could see my face when I get asked this.
DUH. YES. HURT YES. LIKE IT.
Bruises = pretty, marks = pretty, ANY OUCH = Yes please.
I mean... with consent of course... haha.
Can you explain what exactly a masochist is?
Speaking of that last question—a masochist can be described as someone who enjoys pain and/or humiliation and finds pleasure from it. I am a masochist because I absolutely love pain, beatings, rough things, choking etc. but I also like to know that I’m subordinate to someone else, and that’s degradation enough for me!
Why do you identify as a masochist?
Because I am one? I actually get asked this a lot. Things like “why do you enjoy being abused” or “how does hitting actually give you pleasure? It’s supposed to hurt!?”
Really guys, c’mon. I love pain, and I love receiving pain and suffering for the one doing the pain…ing? The hitting?
Aren’t sadists scary?
I’m shaking my head at whoever it was that asked me this.
There has never been a more attractive sight to me than a Dom in gear walking towards me with a paddle. Scariest thing I have ever seen, but oh so yummy.
If you’re a masochist and a submissive and you’ve never seen that, oh man are you in for a treat.