A Real Man

A Real Man

I was coming home from my punishing housekeeping day job on the bus. I was working at a resort on South Padre Island during the summer season. The next couple days were infrequent days off, so I was looking forward to a beer and falling into a deep sleep. It was going to also be a girl’s night; one of my buddies at work needed a drink as much as me. It was the last stop on South Padre. A couple guys got on the bus. I recognized one of them. He was Rick; I had met him previously at a party on the island at Boomerang Billy’s. The guy that was with him, I’d never met. I’m pretty much an anti-social bitch most of the time, but this guy was so positive and happy. It just oozed out of him along with a lot of self-confidence. That’s the only ice-breaker for me. Self-confidence in a man is sexy. So I decided okay, just this once I won’t be a bitch and this one can talk to me. I could tell he was much younger than I was. He was very tall, yet clearly had some Mexican. But hey, that’s 90 percent of the valley. So I had told myself when I moved there I’d probably have to adjust my attractions to something a little more realistic if the occasion ever presented itself. Because the majority is a culture I’m not familiar with but was curious about from working with them. The ladies I worked with weren’t always nice to me on the job. But when it came to breaks and after work, I never went hungry or had to walk home. They worked so damn hard yet they were always happy and in a great mood. I was envious of them in that respect. I wondered how they could be so damn happy all the time.

Usually, the men are short and all torsos, but not him. He was cute and rocking a hot body with tons of confidence. He spoke perfect English to me with a Mexican accent. He started asking me what my plans were for the night. I told him I was going to have some beers at my place with a friend from work.

He moved his Ray-bans to the top of his head and looked straight into my eyes and asked, “Do you mind if we come by later?”

I didn’t really even think about if it would be okay with Cass or anything else. I have no idea why I’m usually thinking about my friends first. I think a part of me just thought they were talking shit and wouldn’t really show up.

I said, “Yeah, ya’ll come on by. We’ll just be hanging out by the bay.”

My apartment was on the bay across the bridge from South Padre. I had a bay view and managed to afford a couple loungers that we would place right down at the water’s edge. It was a beautiful view and Cass loved looking for the dolphins. But that night became a bit windy from the north so we ended up just sitting inside listening to streaming music on YouTube and talking.

Now, of course, I had no idea this man was interested in me. I thought once again it was the both of them competing for young, pretty Cassie’s attention. I mean, I was 52 and she was late 20s. Though I’d been told by my daughter and a few other people that I didn’t look my age or sometimes act my age, it was still a consideration with me. I worked a hard physical job, so my body still looked like probably 30s. I felt like a kid, but the mirror sometimes told me otherwise. At that point, I hadn’t been able to afford any furniture so I just had two roll out beds for us to sit on. I hadn’t realized my apartment would host parties. I mean, for the past eight years, even before I moved to Port Isabel, it was just me, my daughter and our cats. That was my social group. Plus after a day of work, I looked like pure shit. My hair was escaping everywhere from the bun I had twisted it up in, no makeup and I’m sure the dark circles were ridiculous. I didn’t even care. I just wanted to get my drink on, maybe socialize a little for Cassie’s sake and hit the sheets.

I let him know it was okay to sit next to me on the bed since really there was no other place to sit. He sat down close to me. I don’t remember at all what we talked about that night. I do remember his hand wandered to my leg and caressed me while he talked to me. This made Cass really uncomfortable. She went into full on protecting my girlfriend mode. She was thinking it was unwelcome. It wasn’t, it was just shocking the hell out of me. I was like thinking; "Oh you have the beer goggles on bad, dude. You won’t remember any of this tomorrow." So I decided to have some fun for once. Just see what happened. Again not like me at all. I’m not going to lie, probably the fact that we had made a trip to the store and he paid for everything for all of us might have swayed me a little. Everything on and around the island is so expensive it was a surprise and welcomed gesture for all of us. It was nice to just have some fun and stop thinking about the money.

Even though he tried like hell to make something happen that night, it didn’t. I wouldn’t let it. I was sure he was just drunk and full of shit. I walked him out downstairs. We had talked about my cat and how he needed to be shaved because of mats in his fur. I know right? I don’t know how he didn’t become bored with me either.

He said, “I’ll be back on Saturday, and I’ll bring clippers to shave your cat.”

I’m thinking, “Yeah right.”

He took both my hands in his and I was facing him. I can’t remember if he asked me for a kiss or just leaned in and took one. Knowing him now it was probably the latter. He had full lips and when he kissed me it was so sensuous and perfect being outside under the stars. The moment wasn’t lost on me; he knew how to kiss a woman and sent an electrical shock through my body. But I knew I had to shake it off. He wasn’t there for me. I just chalked it up to a nice night with a younger man who would regret what he did the next morning. I didn’t think about ever seeing him again.

That next week, I had accepted the apartment next to me and was going to move there. It had a dead on bay view of the water for a little bit more than I was paying but it was so worth it to me.

Cassie said, “You better leave a note on your old apartment; Jason said he would be back on Saturday.”

I’m like, “Yeah, right he’s not coming back.”

She’s asked, “Why not?”

I smiled and said, “Trust me, he won’t be back.”

My distrust of men was at that point was based on a failed 14-year marriage to an alcoholic who never helped me with our one child and yet thought it was okay to chase me around for sex whenever he wasn’t at the bar. Then I was with a Jon Bon Jovi look-alike for 8 years who I suspected was crazy in some way. I found out later he was a narcissist. He wanted sex at first and then never again. The effect that had on me was so damaging. It made me believe I was the most disgusting undesirable woman on the face of the earth. So after the last relationship, I was like they had their chance, I’m done and hadn’t been with anyone for ten years. I went from a comfy life as a middle-class wife to just trying to survive. I worked damn hard to just get by. I mean I really thought what do I need from them? I can support myself and I can get myself off anytime I want.

Then there was a knock at my new apartment door the next day after Jason said he would be back.

He said, “I’m sorry, I tried to be here yesterday, I work in San Antonio and my truck broke down. It took most of yesterday to get it fixed.”

I’m like, “That’s okay, I really didn’t think you were coming back anyway.”

He said, “Why not, I told you I would. I keep my word.”

We had quite a few drinks and talked a lot more. I found out he had been alone for some time too for similar reasons. This time we were totally alone and I was getting a bit nervous about it. I kind of wanted something to happen but wasn’t sure to what extent. I hadn’t shaved and my underwear was not the type a man should ever see. Somehow we ended up at the local big box store to buy a bunch of stuff I needed for my new apartment. When we were done shopping it was late. I had everything I needed to have a decent looking place after that. The new comforter set didn’t stay new for long. We got comfortable on the bed, listened to music and made out for hours. He kissed me and looked at me with a passion I’d never seen from any man.

He said, “I want you, baby.”

I thought to myself, he wants me. I looked at him. His skin and chest muscles were that of a young man. I never thought I would see that near me again in my lifetime. The way he said it and just that he wanted me so bad was so sexy, I couldn’t resist him anymore.

All I could do was nod and say, “Yes.”

He tore off my clothes and then his own. It felt so good to be naked with the air touching me and nothing covering me while a man just took me. He kissed my entire body from my ankles until he got to my breasts. He kissed my breasts then licked and sucked my nipples until my legs opened up to him. I came way before he penetrated me. He had that raw animal passion that I needed and wanted from a man all of my life. He got close to my skin breathing on me, showing me how much he wanted me. He knew exactly what I wanted and what I needed. Or maybe we both needed it. To just let go and ravage someone.

He asked me, “Did you come, baby?”

I had no idea how he didn’t know because I felt like a faucet down there.

I said, “Yesssss Baby.”

“I want you to come again.”

Oh, and I did even harder on command. I didn’t know if my heart could take it but I was willing to find out. Again nothing I had ever experienced with a man. He did this same process five more times before he even tried to get his. When he came, the sound from his lips was so gorgeous it made me come again with him.

Okay, so my question was answered. That’s what I needed a man for. But not just any man, a real man.