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Let me start off by saying, this article is not trying to sway your views on when you should have sex, just that anytime you do have sex, make sure it is safe sex.
Young adults should not being having sex. The education system does not properly teach you about STIs, or even your normal bodily functions. Due to that, adults don't know what everything is, or get grossed out by normal bodily functions. So, please don't have sex until you are adequately educated about sex, and know how to do it safely.
- DO NOT FORCE SOMEONE INTO HAVING SEX IF THEY DON'T WANT TO. This may seem like a no brainer, but some people don't know the word no. If they don't know that no means no. DO NOT SLEEP WITH THEM. DO NOT ASSOCIATE WITH THEM.
- Educate yourself before you have sex. Know where everything goes, what it's called. If things are normal. Please for goodness sake know what you've got, and where it goes. Nothing is worse than someone asking where something goes. If you have to guide them, it means one of two things. Either this is their first time, or they are clueless. If they are clueless. Run. I don't care how cute they are. Run.
- Sex is just as much fun, and as pleasurable for both parties involved. If it's not, speak up. If your partner wants you to have a good time, they won't take offense. In fact they might think it's sexy.
- Contraception. Please use contraception. At least one kind, but mainly two. Now, make an exception if the woman in this situation is allergic to any kind of contraception, try and find one that works for her. Men, DO NOT USE THE EXCUSE THAT YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO THE LATEX IN CONDOMS UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY ARE. Wear a condom. Oh my gosh. Men, just wear one, sex will feel good either way. Plus, if you wear one you are way more likely to NOT get the woman pregnant! Talk about using contraception, and what the risks are if you do not use any contraception.
- Be respectful of each other. If someone says not there, don't go there. If someone gives oral, but doesn't receive make sure it is because they don't want oral performed on them.
- If it feels at all like your feelings/concerns are being ignored during this intimate time, YOU CAN WALK AWAY. It doesn't matter if they are the most popular person in school, or if they are your superior at work. Even your significant other could make you feel like your feelings don't matter. If you choose not to walk away completely, you can voice your concerns again. They might have not understood the first time. Make sure you are clear in your communications.
- If this sexual encounter you are having is against your consent. Remember this. Go for the eyes. Claw, scratch, gouge, whatever you can to shove your finger in their eyes. Knees and elbows, use these in a swinging and upward motion. This will knock them back a little bit. Then legs, put your legs in between your body and theirs, and push as hard as you can. Then jab. Hands will come into a fist or a straight hand and jab as hard as you can to their throat. This should push them back gasping for air, which can give you time to run away.
I'm very sorry that this even has to be said, but in my experience, these few things help. If you freeze up in fear, that's okay too. You are not weak because you did not fight back. You are strong, and you can get through this.
While I did focus on some educational material for sex, you have to remember, people get raped too often, and this information could help someone who may find themselves in this position.
Please stay safe.