Why Men Fake Orgasms

Since the dawn of realization that females can actually orgasm through that "hidden area" that isn’t actually that hard to find, men have worried that their partner has at one point faked an orgasm. Maybe their performance wasn’t the best that day, or maybe they just couldn’t be aroused, and they feel like their partner faked it to "get things going." However, not much of a spotlight is placed on us men, and how studies show that 30 percent of us guys fake orgasms at least once, compared to figures finding 70-80 percent of females fake it at least once.

Sexologists are frantically trying to uncover why men are actually faking it; After all, the general consensus as to why so many females fake it is either as a result of anxiety and a disliking of their own body, or to get on to pleasing their partner quicker. Some point to increasing societal pressure affecting men’s sexual performance, while others point to a rise in egotism and self-loving, and even extreme arguments stating that porn is stopping some men's ability to climax at all.

Each debate is worth its own merit, and has its own solid points of "proof," so let’s try and discover why so many men are starting to fake their own orgasms in a society that praises sexual openness, exploration, and discovery.

The Problem in Porn?

Porn is pretty fucking awesome, in fact, as of writing this very line, “porn” has been searched for on the internet 3,297,642,653 times. I’ll update this at the end of the article.

In terms of the number of people who actually watch it, 90 percent of guys and 60 percent of girls under the age of eighteen have seen porn at least once. In young adulthood, 68 percent of males watch porn regularly, compared to a considerably lower figure of 18 percent for females. Porn itself is a $13 billion business in the US alone, per year, which is only increasing as more and more people access it online. Porn has also been attributed to leading to a stronger sexual life with your married partner, with studies suggesting that couples who watch porn together are much more likely to feel "generally" more satisfied.

So what’s the problem? Clearly it’s a big thing, big enough to account for one-fifth of the entire internet, so who cares?

According to Dr. Mary Anne Layden, who specializes in cognitive therapy, “Pornography viewers tend to have problems with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.” In her findings, she has seen a correlation between the amount of times a male watches porn, and the decrease in sexual function he endures. So maybe this could pressure some guys to fake their orgasm, out of fear of not performing naturally.

In a report by CovenantEyes, 56 percent of all divorces involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic websites, leading to “overly aggressive behaviors” and, you guessed it, a reduction in their "normal" sexual functions—either they came too quickly, or not at all.

Finally, one forum board for “sexually curious and active adults” suggested that some men faked their orgasm to fulfill their partner's "expectations" of what it should be like; Basically, they thought they wouldn’t cum enough, so they faked it altogether. "Avoiding one source of potential ridicule by creating another," as one user wrote.

In my experience, this shouldn’t be a worry for the “average porn user,” someone who views it moderately, and isn’t addicted; someone who uses it only a few times a week when their imagination just isn’t cutting it. I don’t believe this is a factor that causes most men to fake their orgasms, only those that are addicted to it in the most extreme of cases.

Societal Pressure

Out of all the points given, this would arguably be the more morbid one. We all know that the over-sexualization of females portrayed in the media has led to self-confidence issues with women of all ages; sexualized advertisements on the TV, "idealized" women used in porn, and shows such as America’s Next Top Model all fuel the notion that a woman’s body is never "good enough." However, the same is gradually happening to men, in a more discreet and unheard way.

This became apparent to me following a controversial Coke advert streamed in the UK a few years back, depicting a can of shaken-up soda exploding like—well, you know what—and drenching the male actors shirt, causing him to remove it, revealing a chiseled body, much to the satisfaction of a group of female actors. While, at the time, it was viewed as another harmless advert for a corporate God, in reflection, it caught massive scrutiny. The same can be seen in almost any form of advertising; perfumes and aftershaves option for an "ideal" man with a beard and suit, food ads choose sculpted and slim men (because that’s the only demographic you see in McDonalds *sigh*) and in porn, men with six-packs and toned muscles are heavily favored over their chubby/"dad-bod" counterparts.

In a harrowing reality, 78 percent of all suicides in the UK are carried out by men, and one of the leading contributing factors behind this is said to be “societal pressures,” such as the pressure placed on males to conform to ideals such as "high-paying jobs," fit bodies, Fifty Shades of Grey treatment, and loads of charisma. As mainstream media becomes more prominent in our lives, and as smartphones inch towards complete control of online traffic, these pressures are only increasing.

Medically speaking, high blood pressure very often leads to the inability for a male to climax, and often leads to them "going soft," a vicious cycle of pressure and disappointment leading to sexual redundancy in the heat of the moment. Therefore, as some argue, it is just easier for a man to fake their orgasm rather than facing, as before, potential ridicule by their partner.

Do I think this factor affects men, and results in those that do fake their orgasms to actually fake it? Absolutely. While it could probably never be wholly determined, there is a medical correlation and a social one that suggests that, as more pressure is placed upon men, their sexual ability decreases. However, I think just as the movement for appreciating and valuing women’s bodies on their own merit, and the fight for desexualizing breasts and their bodies in general goes on, so too can the same fight for men occur.

Blame Boredom!

The final point, and one I can frankly relate to, is simple—sex can just be boring sometimes! I mean, most of us adore sex, and I’m no exception, but sometimes it can just get monotonous. Maybe you had a hard day at the gym and your legs just ache too much (never skip leg day), maybe you had a bad day and would rather curl up in bed and not stick to your partner in lust and sweat, or maybe you just can’t be arsed. Chances are we’ve all been there before.

Despite our likely similarities there, it still acts as a problem; Both sexes would rather fake it than talk things out, optioning for a closed dialogue private drama show for your naked partner rather than an open dialogue of confessing intimate and trusting feelings. Does it actually matter, though? After all, we’re only human and boredom is just a thing that happens—for some, more than others. From my experience, and once again trawling through countless message boards online, it only matters depending on your actions; If you simply flop to the side like a limp penis, chances are your partner, who is probably more in the mood by now, will dislike it. If you make a "kind of" joke about it, usually self-humiliating, you can get away with it. Don’t make it awkward, make it comfortable! According to Men’s Fitness online, and almost every source possible when Googling “laughter and sex,” laughing and being comfortable in sex can make everything so much better, even if you can’t be bothered to slide it in a few times.

If you’re too embarrassed to simply admit it and openly talk with your partner, and there is "seemingly no other way" around the dilemma, to a growing number of men faking their orgasm can seem the best way out of things. In my opinion, I wouldn’t fake my climax to get out of this, instead, why not fake leg cramps? It’s funnier and much less awkward than bellowing gross, forced grunts and moans as you gyrate your hips like a virgin.

So is it Okay?

So is faking a male orgasm okay? Ideally not, just as it isn’t ideal for a female to do it, but sometimes it’s just necessary. Not in a life-or-death way, but in an "I’m bored," "I’m nervous," or even "I want to make you cum instead" way. Sometimes, to a growing number of men at that current 30 percent figure, faking their cum is just a way to get things moving. Is it the most efficient thing to do? No. Is it easy? Sort of. Should you do it? Who cares! Stay respectful and comfortable in yourself and your partner and it can only be safe.