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Why Losing My Virginity Was a Bigger Deal to Everyone Else

People need to stop pushing their views onto everyone else.

By Grace XtraPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
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There's this huge stigma around losing your virginity and how you need to save it for that right person. Who ever said that you need to be with the person you're going to have sex with for the rest of your life? Why is a thing that women are to wait for the right person but for a man it doesn't matter? People always told me to wait for the right guy, that my virginity was something to be won, that the guy I chose to take it had to be important to me. Being a teenager, of course, I did the exact opposite of what they said.

I was quite the rebellious teenager, I never listened to any adult, I defied my parents, and was a social butterfly. Being the social person I was meant I knew a lot of people and was meeting new people all of the time, also meaning I knew a lot of guys who were interested in me. I never thought of it as a big deal. It was just sex for me. I'm not religious so saving my virginity for marriage wasn't something I planned on doing. I wanted to have sex so I did. I made the decision to lose my virginity to one of those guys. All of my friends had boyfriends and loved them so they decided to sleep with them. Me being myself, I didn't have a boyfriend but I wanted to sleep with someone too.

I didn't tell my family that I was having sex until I was 18 for the fear of disappointing them. That's the problem, though. There's no real reason for anyone to be disappointed in me. I had sex and that was it. For someone to see me as though I've failed because I've had sex is so stupid. It's unrealistic to think that people won't have sex young or with one person for the rest of their life, and in no way am I saying that's impossible or that people won't do it. I'm only here to say that this stigma, especially with women, with having sex at a certain age, having sex before marriage, or having sex with multiple partners—why is it shamed when all we seek is pleasure? Not everyone seeks a connection because not everyone needs a connection to be pleasured.

I want people to know I'm not speaking on the behavior for just women but me,n too. Men and women have sex. We are not sluts because we desire a happy feeling. We don't need people talking about us all because we choose to have a different experience than others. I like sex and I choose to have it. I will not stop having it just because it's frowned upon by people I don't even know. The same people that won't say it to your face whisper behind your back that you're a slut and whore. I don't deserve that just because I choose to live my life differently than others.

It never occurred to me that just because someone has different views than you that they would shun you because of their views. Whether your views are for religious, ethical, or personal reasons doesn't mean that someone else has the same views. You should not judge others because you choose to life your life differently. I don't push my views of sex to people that don't want it because that's frowned upon, but it's okay for someone to tell me not to have sex because that's their views. One day, I hope that things will change because I know they won't for a long time, but I have hope.

advocacy
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About the Creator

Grace Xtra

I like to dabble in fiction writing. I may also post some stories about my real life experiences.

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