Why I Will Never Fake Another Orgasm

So you’ve just started seeing this guy that you’re really attracted to. You could barely wait to strip him naked and have him on top of you. You are so turned on.

...But you are literally feeling nothing. Did it fall off? Has he gone soft? Seriously nothing! He’s moaning and grunting in the way you’d expect but it’s like someone injected anesthetic into your vagina.

You change positions and it feels a little better but still not enough to get you anywhere near orgasm.

So what do you do? Telling him would be embarrassing, right? So you just fake it and get it over with.

The thing is, you shouldn’t feel the need to fake it at all. Sex is about mutual desire and mutual satisfaction and if it’s not working for you there is no shame in telling him that.

Give him a chance to fix it, especially if he’s a new partner because the first time together can be a little awkward.

Failing that, help him fix it, guide him into what feels good. If sex isn’t hitting the spot, and let’s be honest most women find that it doesn’t, then try foreplay and go from there.

If he doesn’t want to try and find a way to help you enjoy it then he’s not worth your time or the effort you put into shaving your legs for the occasion. I used to be very focused on giving my partner pleasure and making them happy, whatever they wanted (within reason) they got.

But then I realised something...

I wanted them to put that much effort into having sex with me too. I want them to try to please me as much as I tried to please them.

Once I’d figured this out I built up the confidence to tell them what I wanted and how I wanted it. I was so bored of having boring sex.

What happened?

Most of my partners made the effort to please me. As a result, the mediocre sex ended and the mind blowing sex begun. I will never go back to faking it to please them.

My two rules in the bedroom:

Be confident enough to ask for what you want.

Be confident enough to say no if you don’t want to do something.

The latter is a hard rule to live by. You consent to sex but there’s something you don’t want to do, you are pressured into it, maybe you don’t even realise you’re being pressured. He says “please” gently nudged you into a position or two, eventually you give in.

No! Just no. You said you didn’t want to do it and you don’t have to do it at all. Stick to your word. Respect yourself and expect him to respect you too. I’ve been there and I’ve done that. Give in to it and you find yourself on a slippery slope, you find your no’s just don’t mean as much to him anymore. Don’t do it to yourself.

We are in 2018 now. Let’s make this the year where women don’t have to be afraid of knowing what they want and what they don’t want in bed. Let’s make this the year where women aren’t looked down upon for liking and wanting sex.

Most importantly let’s make this the year where we know what we deserve in and out of the bedroom and we don’t have to be shy or afraid to pursue it.

You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be satisfied in every aspect of your life. Don’t let anyone ever make you think any differently.