Filthy is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.
How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.
How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.
To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.Show less
There is a topic many people are uncomfortable talking about with their partners. While almost all of us have had sex, we get choked up when asked to start a conversation about what happens underneath the sheets. I was one of those people. For whatever reason, I felt weird discussing this with my partner. Therefore, I had many nights that ended in uncomfortable or painful positions, because I was too scared to say something.
If you are like this, I understand entirely. It can be intimidating telling someone what you like or don't like in the bedroom. However, you should talk about certain things with your partner. We should never feel uncomfortable, in pain, or even scared during intercourse. Open communication is the best way to have that ultimate orgasm you have always wanted. Most partners want to hear what you like and don't like so that they can make you happy under the covers.
While this might not relate to everyone, I have a few things that women want you to know about sex. These are tips and pieces of advice that I have had to talk about as well as factors friends have told me when recounting their sex life. Knowing these facts might even improve your sex life.
We have different anatomy.
It shouldn't be something we have to say, but it is a fact many people forget. While men can reach their climax quite quickly, it can take a little more work for a female. Some women can climax from penetration while others need a little more to get there. Sex is a fun activity that shouldn't just include the single act of penetration. Using the entire body to create sensations and incorporating foreplay is the best way to help a woman reach that orgasm.
Next time you are heading towards pound town, remember that there are other parts of the body you could be touching during this process. By stimulating other areas, like the clitoris, you have a better chance of pleasuring your partner. If you are only in it for yourself, you are probably going to lose your partner's interest.
Ask before you use the backdoor.
Some people love anal sex, and that is okay. However, you should never assume your partner enjoys this. If you want to try it out, talk about it first. See if they are comfortable with this and, if they are not, don't push the topic. If that is a deal breaker for you in a relationship, then find someone who likes it (don't force it).
I have had friends tell me about how their partner surprised them with this act, and they hated it. The fact is anal is not something that you should execute at random. Your partner should always be open to any idea in the bedroom. Please make sure they are comfortable the entire time and listen to them when they say to stop. The best sex is consensual sex; remember that.
If we want you to wear a condom, do it.
Stop taking the condom off right before you climax. Quit acting like the pull out method is a perfectly fine alternative. Women know when they are educated on their anatomy and usually know when they are ovulating. If we ask you to wear a condom, do it. Not everyone is ready for children right now. The fact is, the pull out method is not as effective as you might think.
I get that some people don't like the feel of condoms. However, I can guarantee you will still find a way to climax with one. When you refuse to wear a condom, you are saying you are willing to risk someone else's body and life. I'm not saying children are evil, but a woman should be able to choose when they want one. If you are not willing to wear protection, then you should be just as responsible for what might happen.
Use proper blowjob etiquette.
I get that a mouth can feel fantastic in that area. Oral sex is something both partners can enjoy if done correctly. When was the last time a woman forced your head down there and didn't allow you to breathe? There might be a few of you who raised your hands, but I promise it is not as equal to women. We don't want to feel like we are about to throw up our last meal when giving oral. We also like breathing (it is what helps us stay alive).
Also, don't force someone to swallow or finish sex via their mouth. Some people don't like that, and they should be respected. If you want someone to speed up or slow down, say it. Talking during sex is permitted and can even be a turn on. Forcing us to deep throat until we are blue in the face is never a way to seduce a girl. If you want something, ask.
Care about our orgasm.
It takes two people to have intercourse (or more if you are into that). If you are only out for an orgasm, practice masturbation. Sex should be fun for everybody involved and should never be a selfish act. For instance, if your partner gives you a blowjob and helps you achieve orgasm, do something for them as well. If you are about to reach a climax during penetration and your partner isn't there yet, either slow down or do something to help them get there.
Sex can be fun without a climax, but you usually have an end goal to receive an orgasm. If you are willing to go the extra mile for your partner, I promise they will return the favor. Sex is not a selfish act. One of the main ideas around sex is that both people are enjoying the action. If it is one-sided, you are probably not going to get seconds.
To be able to execute any of these you need to have open communication. We are all created differently and have varying wants and needs. By talking to your partner and being transparent, you have a better chance of having a happy partner.