What Makes A Woman Good in Bed?

Some time ago, a man looked at a woman and wondered, "Does she or doesn't she?" (go to bed). Since the sexual revolution, the question more often has been, "Is she or isn't she?" (good in bed). But what does that really mean and how do we define the term "good in bed" (G.I.B.)? In interviews with film stars and athletes, pimps and hookers, author Wendy Leigh has tried to discover whether there is an answer to this question.

The responses Ms. Leigh received were candid, revealing, funny and very often explicit. Most of all, they exploded the stereotype of the "perfect woman in bed," and suggested that good sex, like beauty, is in the eye (among other places) of the beholder.

Lily Tomlin (Lesbian actress and stand up comic who has starred in 9 to 5, I Heart Huckabees and Netflix series Grace and Frankie)

What in my opinion makes a woman good? What makes a midget good? Let's talk about life, don't let's talk about sexist questions. Let's talk about what makes an amoeba good in bed. The main trouble is that women have to get the approval of the ruling class, which is the white male.

Men always expect you to suck them, but they don't suck. Anyway, I hate the phrase "She sucks." Most of us have or do. Newborn babies do, and most of us in our lives, including John Updike, have sought through the decades to find someone who would or does suck. The question of sucking is important, even if it is armpits and toes. Very few people will sucktoes-they think it is foot fetishism. People don't want to suck toes and they don't want to talk about life.

Elliott Gould (Actor who has starred on M*A*S*H, Friends, the Ocean's film series, and Ray Donovan)

I like to be handled gently. Being a large individual, I like to be handled as gently as I am expected to handle my mate. Actually, experience makes a woman. If a woman asks for what she wants in bed, that's great. A woman is not less good if she refuses something.

I really don’t see how a woman can be bold in bed if she shows up, but I suppose rigidity is bad in bed. The only thing that is really bold in bed is illness and sickness-also people thinking that bed is where sex is meant to be, that a bed should be a bedroom, because a bed can also be grass under a tree, on the beach. Basically, the only reason for being in a bed is to sleep.

Joe Namath (Quarterback for the NY Jets football team in the 60s and 70s.)

What makes a woman G.I.B.? My mother doesn't allow me to talk about sex.

Jack Nicholson (Actor and filmmaker known for his roles in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Shining, The Departed, and as the Joker in Batman.)

I think feeling makes a woman good in bed. If it's not real, don't do it. If you really don't feel something, don't fake it. Just stop right there, even if it's with your wife, because forced sex is liked forced energy of any kind: it doesn't really work.

Germaine Greer (Writer and a major player in the second-wave feminist movement of the later 20th century.)

You can't really be serious about this question. I don't understand what "good in bed" means, And I don't know that I have heard men use the phrase. I find the phrase offensive, and I also find offensive the assumption that sex is something that occurs in bed, and not other places.

I have always assumed that what really seduced people is the degree of communication that they establish. That's all--and also that what makes a woman good in bed is the same as what makes a man good.

John Wayne: (Well known actor through 40s-60s who starred in films various western films including Stagecoach, True Grit, The Shooters, and Rio Bravo.)

What makes a woman G.I.B.? Being there.

Doc Severinsen (Most recognized for leading the orchestra on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, he is a well know jazz and American pop trumpeter.)

The woman who is good in bed is useless if the man she is with doesn't like her. Then, being good in bed doesn't keep him with her, unless the man's brains are oil in his cock.

The woman who is good in bed is not obvious the moment you meet her, but I think you can get very strong vibrations about whether or not she is going to be good. I think the type of woman who gives you distraught look in the eyes, has a certain sincerity, is relaxed and friendly, and is not exhibitionistic in her behavior is probably going to be good in bed. Some men think very sensuous mouth is the answer, others think beauty makes a woman good in bed. I think in some cases a nice, tight pussy is not a bad thing, but the response matters just as much.

A woman who fakes out of bed will usually also fake in bed as well. I can spot a recall bullshitter, and there's no point in fooling around with anyone like that-whether in bed or out of it. An honest woman is going to be best in bed.

When you first get into bed, the beauty is exploring together and finding out what you both want. I think a sexual relationship between a man and a woman is a brand new voyage, and a lot of interesting things can develop along the way, so you can't go into it with your preconceived opinion. This is the way I feel about sex, and this is exactly what I demand, and this is what I want, and if it doesn't meet with my requirements, then it's no good." A woman should never give a list of what she wants in bed. If she did, I would tell her: "This is not a supermarket, and we can’t have orders to take out.

When I die, I would like to die in the throes of a sexual embrace with a woman. I would like to be at least eighty-nine years old, and die of ecstasy, in the middle of an orgasm, and all of a sudden I would like to look up and see St. Peter.

Glenda Jackson (British actress who starred in Women in Love, Elizabeth R, Hedda and many others.)

It is always very difficult to know what men mean when they say a woman is good in bed. I think that a man thinks a woman is good if she tells him he is.

Some men have a fantasy that they are wondrous in bed, and if they feel they are not, they will turn around and say, "It is your fault. They are often taught that men are automatically good in bed, and so they sometimes lock the urge to admit that they are not automatically so. Therefore, their whole ethos is to preserve that fantasy for themselves, which makes it very difficult for a woman to admit a lack of actual sexual satisfaction. I think the woman has a responsibility to say, "Look, without wishing to be critical or totally destroy you, you may think that I am having the most wonderful time in the world, but a time drives when it all stops for me.' I would say that to someone, but it is difficult, because men are very sensitive in that area.

I have never been in an actual situation where a man has made me feel sexually inadequate because I didn't do something that he has wanted. If I didn't want to do something sexually, there would be no pressure on earth the man could exert that would make me do it, and I wouldn't give a fuck how much the man said, "You're no good." In any case, I don't believe that there's a general definition of good in bed to be mode. It is just something that has to be defined by each person for themselves.

Robert Mitchum(Actor, singer, director, composer, author who starred in films including The Story of G.I. Joe, The Night of the Hunter, Thunder Road, and El Dorado.)

What makes a woman G.I.B.? Proximity.

Jack Carter (Comedian, actor and TV presenter, who had many appearances on series, such as The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Wild Wild West, 7th Heaven, Monk, and Shameless.)

What makes a woman G.I.B.? First of all, she must be punctual-she must show up on time. Then she must be naked. That helps. She must say things like "Ooh,"Aaah," and "Ouch" and "Cover me when you're finished, "if she is bored. Then she must be clean. Have a washcloth and have a small geisha girl waiting in the glove compartment of your car. But, most important of all, she must be courteous. She must say "Thank you" for the receipt of money or goodies and there must always be a drunken maid on the floor yelling, "Nothing for the brides maid?" That's it, that's what makes a woman good.

Stacy Keach (Actor and narrator who has appeared in over 60 films and TV shows, his most recognized being The New Centurions, Up In Smoke, Butterfly and more.)

One of the most exciting things about sex is that the woman who is good in bed is as variable as people themselves. You can look at a woman who is absolutely gorgeous, and then find out that she is boring in bed, and you can look at another woman who is not so beautiful, but if you go to bed with her, you might be surprised. All of my feelings about a woman have to do with states of being: perceptiveness, openness, willingness, tenderness.

The trouble is that some people have problems about sexual relationships because they have subjective expectations rather than allowing on experience to happen. The free love era of the sixties mode people suddenly realize that it was all right to feel, touch, and explore one another's physicality, without necessarily having any emotional attachment beyond the experience itself.

I still am chauvinistic in my attitudes. I come to enjoy, in my teens, the whole aspect of opening car doors and picking up checks and being chivalrous, but when the new ethic struck all of our consciousnesses, I found myself put down for being condescending and patronizing. It was all very disturbing for me, so my reaction become very defensive.

However things have changed, lock of involvement still makes a woman bold in bed; also resistance to exploring—to allowing herself to be open. Personally, I think a woman is less good in bed if she refuses a specific demand I make. There is a spirit involved in sexual activity which is not just simply a casual need to satisfy physical desires; it's a willingness to engage in sexual play together and to please one another sexually. Resistance is totally antithetical to the whole concept of pleasure.

But refusal prior to bed is exciting for a man. If the desire has already been established and then resistance follows, I feel that heightens the excitement of the ultimate encounter. Of course there has to be an ultimate encounter, because men feel blind locating and hatred for women who come on strong and then say, "Bye-bye."

My wife is the first woman who ever propositioned me. I met her at a beach house; we were walking along the beach when suddenly she solid, "I would love to go to bed with you." This approach excited me tremendously, so we made an appointment to see each other that evening. I showed up but she didn't. Later she admitted that she stood me up because of being nervous. I was livid—as I was all excited. I didn't see her again for four years, but we kept up a correspondence and finally ended up getting married.

Love adds something to bed, but I am not sure what. I believe that the feeling of love does not require the sexual act to sustain it, and I think that the reverse must therefore apply: that sex does not require love to sustain it.

Really, sex is something that brings people together. You can have a nonsexual relationship with somebody, Write a script together, take a trip together, and the degree to which that event was good or bold involves the same things: rapport, togetherness, willingness to listen, and to respond to the other person—to give and to take.

Isaac Hayes (Soul singer who voiced Chef on South Park, he is well known for his musical score for Shaft, a 1971 blaxploitation film.)

The ideal woman for me would be a superwoman in bed; with endurance, With a lot of fire, with warmth, uninhibited, and of course, a good-looking body-that helps.

There are some women who are physically perfect-not body-wise, but in their genital area: the texture and the location of the vaginal condl. Not necessarily tightness it can be the fatty tissues in the walls of the vagind that add a lot. Also the erotic juices and the secretion of those juices and the overall feel. Sometimes a woman doesn’t have to move at all, and can produce an orgasm from a man just effortlessly, Whereas others have to work and do all kinds of things, yet still do not get the same results out of a man as the ones with that natural feel.

I find the more common-looking women are much better in bed than the very, very attractive women. Beautiful women are too hung up on their outward appearance. Whereas the woman who is not so attractive and knows that all she has is herself and her body just gets totally involved and expresses herself. But if you do find a woman who is attractive and good in bed, she is dynamite.

If I am in the mood for a challenging situation, I like the woman who is very confident and looks as if she is saying, "I am just as important to me as you care. " If she values herself, then she must be of some value.

I feel that a woman should be free to say, feel, and do whatever she wants. A sexual experience should be total and completely free. Sometimes a woman will not do something because she is afraid of what the man will think of her. So I think that the man should really tell the woman up front, "Hey, whatever you want to do, you tell me-you tell me what you want me to do, whatever you do is all right."

Chatter in bed really turns me on. The more a woman talks and really lets me know how she feels, the more it arouses me, because to utter vulgarities is sometimes a turn-on. Also, another thing which turns me on are the natural body odors that arise out of the actual excitement and the activity.

George Segal (Popular actor in the 60s and 70s, his most well known roles are Ship of Fools, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, A Touch a Class and Flirting with Disaster.)

What makes of woman G.I.B.? A man makes a woman good in bed-the one who is right.

Jimmy Connors (Former tennis great, he is known for his prolific career and holding the top ranking for the period at 160 weeks.)

Timing is a very important word to me in bed. Sex is no good if one person likes it and the other person doesn't. I don't want a lady who hits me with the headache ploy: I've got a headache; I can't tonight.” There are some things you can get in the mood for all the time,

And sex is one of them, if it's with the right person. I think feelings are very important. You don't have to be in love with or woman, but feeling and enjoyment come into it very much, even if it's just a one-night stand.

I don’t know if female athletes are better in bed. Athletics and sports build one up and make one very firm. A lot of them are good in bed, but I don't think ladies are as strong as men, so athletics are tough on them mentally and physically. It's difficult for one athlete to have soft and smooth skin; it's tough on my skin. When you're out in the sun, it's tough on men, let alone ladies. For myself, I like ladies with very smooth, very soft skin I can nestle up to and cuddle with.

I like ladies. I have always grown up to respect women, and you just treat them much different than you do men, in your attitude, in your tone of voice. Women, I guess, though, are a lot of people's downfall, and I am not going to say they are not mine. But I think behind every man there is a lady. I need somebody there who is easy for me to be with, and easy for me to talk to, and doesn’t just break my balls.

Wilt Chamberlain(7'1" former basketball star, who played for the Harlem Globetrotters prior to NBA career, where he played for the 76ers, Lakers, and the Warriors.)

I can tell if I want to go to bed with a woman or not by looking at her, but it's very hard to tell if she will be good in bed until I get her there. I used to own nightclubs where many women were very exhibitionistic when they danced. When I watched them. I would say, "Wow, she must be terrific in bed." Not true at all. My experience has been that the woman who is afraid to exhibit herself outside can be a lot better behind closed doors, on a one-to-one basis because she has really dreamed and conceived of the different things she wants to do in bed. When she is free enough to have sex with someone, she is going to be much better than the girl who is up there on the dance floor shaking her body around, because that is partially her thrill and she is never very good in bed unless she has an audience.

There are, of course, attributes that are outstanding for every man, depending on what you like best. I, myself, like a good strong body, I like a woman who is symmetrical, not overly endowed in any one area.

Beauty enhances my enjoyment. A beautiful woman is much easier for me to be attracted to. But my ideal girl in bed would be a young lady who is Smart, independent, but extremely flexible. A pretty girl walking down the street does not attract me as much as a girl who has achieved something. Maybe because I have achieved things, achievement is important to me.

I usually prefer a woman who is not so experienced because I like to have a chance to be more of a teacher to a young lady. Amon likes the innocence and virtue of the untouched flower, so whatever she learns will be his responsibility. That is a great ego trip which I think all men go through from time to time.

Orgasm matters in bed. When I was younger it would worry me if cI woman didn't come. I would feel inadequate as a lover. I always felt rather strongly about myself in that area, so I used to think: "Hey, if I can't make her have one orgasm, then there is something wrong with her and not with me." Now I recognize the fact that some women have very strong ones; others don't have any at all, because they are never relaxed enough, or familiar enough with their own bodies to know what turns then on. I try to explain to those women that maybe they should get into masturbation. But I don't alter my opinion of a woman if she doesn't have an orgasm. I think a woman has the right, As I do, to refuse anything in bed, but I demand a good reason why she has refused. She can't just say, "I don't want to do that." I also think that women are afraid to be a little bit demanding in their sexual trips. They are afraid that if they ask their boyfriends or husbands they may be turned off and reject them. So women who feel that way do what they want sexually with a virtual stronger they don't care about.

I play a game with women and ask them if they are good in bed. One of the answers women give is: "I guess so, I have never had any complaints." Which is a very stupid answer because most men never really complain to a woman they make love to. So, "I have never had any complaints" is a cop-out. Anyway, "good" doesn't matter much to some men who still say: "There is never a bold piece, some are just better than others."

James Caan (Actor who starred in films such as El Dorado, The Godfather, Elf and did voice work for the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs films.)

What makes a woman G.I.B.? Love.

Gladys Knight (The Empress of Soul and seven time Grammy winner known for her songs from the 60s and 70s.)

What makes a woman G.I.B.? Seriously, I think it is the individual. You may be good to someone, but you may not be good to somebody else.

Oliver Reed (English actor with a bad boy attitude who starred in films such as The Trap, Women in Love, The Three Musketeers, Castaway and Gladiator.)

A woman is good in bed if she accepts the fact that she is going to be fucked. She is the receiver, the vessel, and provided that a woman understands that she is going to be penetrated then a man can have a proper sexual relationship with her.

I am very Victorian in my habits. I have never ever in my life been interested in anything small-in intellect, ideology, sociology, politics, in motor cars, hotel bills, in drinking habits, and certainly not in my ladies. My ladies should be luscious. My ladies should be voluptuous. I like large arses. I prefer large vessels.

Complacency makes a woman bad in bed. I can't tell if a woman is good by just looking at her. But one of the first signs of a woman who might be good is that she has made an effort for the man, that before seeing him she brushes her hair, puts all that shiny stuff on her lips, wears a fresh frock, covers herself with scent, then rushes out to meet him, and pretends that she is a lady.

Romance matters: those mornings with toast and marmalade in bed, when the woman gets back into bed with you and reads the papers. And there are toast crumbs in the bed, and she is very warm, breathing on your shoulder. So you smile and you woke up twenty minutes before the pubs open and she puts on some Mulligatowny soup in the kitchen, and you fall into the bathroom naked and she falls out of the kitchen naked. Then she puts on a clean frock and you go and play darts in a pub that is full of smoke and you know that you have just left toast crumbs in your bed. That is romance.