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What Is Sex Work & Dating a Sex Worker?

How to Understand and Familiarize Yourself with Both

Photo Credit: Becca Tapert (

What is a sex worker? When people think about what a sex worker is, they immediately think about an escort; but that’s only one type. "Sex worker" is just an umbrella term for anyone who performs and makes a living in the sex industry. A stripper is also considered a sex worker along with a bikini dancer, cam girl, nude or erotic model, phone sex operator, professional dominatrix (which is a branch of being an escort), film star, findomme, etc. Sometimes a sex worker performs in the industry out of necessity and survival. Sometimes a sex worker does it because they enjoy their work and want to make a career out of it. While you see it mostly being a female-orientated job, both men and women be sex workers.

However, there’s a huge problem. Our profession, no matter what type of sex worker that you are, we still get shit on. Even in this sex-positive society, the stigma and myths that people slap on us is drowning us. We’re looked upon like worthless, disposable human beings. In fact, in the eyes of whorephobics and the uneducated, we’re see as less than humans. Sometimes, we’re just symbols. We don’t even register to most people as someone with real emotions, issues, goals, needs, wants and desires. It’s very brutal and terrible to say, but it’s the truth. It all stems from people being afraid of what they don’t understand and this industry is very misunderstood, to put it lightly. It can take a toll on us sometimes when we’re trying to actually involve ourselves in something separate from work, like a relationship. Dating is bruising enough, but dating as a sex worker can feel like you’re being hit by a truck almost every time we try and connect with someone.

So are you romantically involved with someone that’s a sex worker? Well first of all you need to know that, it’s okay to be in love with a sex worker. It might not be a job that you understand, but that's where clear communication, maturity and trust comes into play. If you’re the jealous and insecure type, dating a sex worker will not be for you. If you can be secure with yourself, you can be secure enough to know that their work is just work. It’s a real job. You wouldn’t be worried and uncomfortable with dating a chef or a gym trainer right? Because you know it’s a real job.

They work as an entertainer. They buy outfits, equipment, they advertise, they provide advice, they help people, etc. They provide many roles even outside of an entertainer. They’re a therapist, a friend, a marriage counselor and more. They use their bodies, their voices, what they know to make a living. A lot of guys find the idea of a woman being an adult entertainer uncomfortable mostly because they don’t understand how these jobs or even how a woman’s body works. I’m serious. We don’t work to find a partner; we don’t work to find a boyfriend or a friend’s with benefits. We just work. We come back home and go back to our lives and leave the job at the door until the next day's shift.

Dating a sex worker doesn’t have to be difficult, but it does take time, patience and a clear and open mind. We are well worth dating and talking to because we know how to not just survive, but to take our money and invest it into bigger things. We take what we know and make empires for not just ourselves but our families. So if you don't know much about sex work, then just ask us. We’d be more than happy to educate. Don’t listen to people who have never been in the industry that thinks they can speak for us. Speak to us, ignore them and you’ll see that it’s not as terrible as you think.

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