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What Her Shoes Say About Her Sex Life

A woman's shoes say almost as much about her sex life as a man's car does about his.

By Ailish DelaneyPublished 8 years ago 5 min read
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You can tell a lot about a woman by the shoes she wears.

Just as a man’s car can hint at the kind of man he is—(big car, small penis?) a woman’s choice of footwear can give you more than a vague idea of the kind of ride you are in for.

From stilettos to sneakers, you can opt for the kind of lover you want by casting your gaze away from her bust and down to her feet.

We decided to do a little research, and bring you the lowdown on what a woman's shoes say about her sex life.

Classic Stiletto

Image via Leggeri

By classic, we mean plain and simple—possibly black patent leather. Understated and classy. This lady is just that, a lady, and will bring that class into the bedroom.

A stiletto strutter needs confidence. The sound of the heels striking the floor is unmistakeable and a woman who announces her arrival in this way is used to being looked at, and loves it! Heads turn when she walks in, and she knows it.

In the bedroom she will be confident but probably fairly vanilla—no kinky business for her, but she will be hot nevertheless. A confident woman outside the bedroom is a confident one inside it as well.

Ballet Flats

Image via Venus Observations

This is Daddy’s little girl, and she will want everything her own way. But hold your horses, that doesn’t mean she will be a dominatrix—this girl is all about being looked after, and will use the situation to her advantage. If she wants something, usually a material thing, she will flutter her eyelashes at you and walk her perfectly rounded fingernails up your chest, but when you say no to her she will pout her pale glossed lips (no siren red for this pampered princess) and then sulk.

Be prepared for a lot of baby talk and nicknames between the sheets—this is one girl who doesn't want to grow up and seeks a man who finds it irresistible to have a little girl to look after.

Boots

Image via picssr

Oh boy, now here’s a woman you can really rodeo with. Whether they are ankle length or knee length, this girl loves to go along for the ride!

Cowboy boots are reminiscent of a bucking bronco, and this is reflected in her boudoir—hold on for dear life because this girl's riding is going to get rough!

The knee-high girl is slightly more reserved, think more horseback than hanging on for dear life. That said, like Lady Godiva, she will enjoy riding bare back and doesn’t mind getting a little saddle sore in the process.

Thigh-high boots, however, speak for themselves. If your lady is sporting a pair of boots that continue north, then you’re probably in a strip club, and if you’re not it’s going to feel as if you are once she gets you home.

We’re talking porn film theatrics, loud moans, and any hole’s a goal. This girl is up for anything, but be warned—role playing can be an integral part of this woman’s repertoire… be prepared to bring your tool belt and work shirts, because you might find yourself playing the plumber, the electrician, or the builder who she can’t pay with cash.

Loafers

Image via Tumblr

This one is a bit of a conundrum. You will most probably find her in a library—she’s very studious and preppy, but if you can manage to entice her away from the books you will find she is a bit of a wild one.

Brought up to be "proper" and conservative, there will also be a bit of a rebel inside her just waiting to get out, and as she has such a love of learning she will not be averse to you teaching her a few things in bed.

Propriety will make her want to say no when you try something a little more risqué, but the curious side of her nature won’t let you stop!

If you fancy a quickie among the encyclopedias though, you could be disappointed—not only would she not want to bring shame on the family by getting caught, she is more than likely going to live in pants, which don’t exactly give easy access.

Flip Flops

Image via Old Bar Brothers

This all depends on the situation.

If you are on vacation, or at a beach, or it's the height of summer, the flip flop wearing female is perfectly acceptable, especially if she takes care of her feet and has pretty toes.

She’s not averse to nudity (you’d be surprised how many women don’t like to show their feet) and they take but a second to slip off.

She’s a casual, easy going girl and she likes her sex life to be the same. No frills, low maintenance, and little effort. That’s not to say it’s boring, far from it—the Havaiana wearing honey loves the great outdoors and will happily do it in the sand dunes or bend over in the breakers.

If, however, you see a woman wearing flip flops at a social function such as a wedding, or worse, a funeral, then run for the hills. This girl just can’t be bothered, and that would extend to her sex life. And her feet are less likely to be well-kept, which doesn’t say much for the rest of her bodily parts.

Buckled, Chained, or Leopard Print Heels

Image via Treats! Magazine

You will need a lot of stamina and possibly a high pain threshold to keep up with this one!

Her bedroom will have more gadgets and restraints than the local sex shop, and she will be wearing those bad boys while she wields her whip and has you calling her mistress.

She loves to be in control, and don’t be surprised if you wake up the next day with the marks of her stiletto heels firmly indented in your back or your balls.

Sneakers

Photo by Christophe Meimoon

You would think that a girl who wears a sneaker would be easy going, casual, and one of the boys. And you might be right. Wearing sneakers to be casual and comfortable means she is down to earth and fun, not afraid to hang with the boys, and sex with her will be like having a lover and best mate all rolled into one. It will be spontaneous with lots of laughter and silliness. No airs and graces or standing on ceremony.

Be warned though—if the sneakers are ones made for sports or running, then you might find yourself training for a marathon between sack sessions.

Jesus Sandals

Photo by Ted Emmons

You know the ones—the plain sandals, often in some shade of brown, normally reserved for earth mothers? This girl is likely to make love (because hippies are all about the love) to you on a bed of hessian sacks and send you home with the smell of patchouli and incense in your hair.

If sandals and candles are your cup of (herbal) tea, then go for it. But if you want lust rather than lentils you’d be better off choosing a different kind of footwear before the fornication begins.

sexual wellnesssatirelistfashion
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About the Creator

Ailish Delaney

Ailish is a single mother, freelance writer, and past life regression therapist, which means she gets to time travel on a daily basis.

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