What BDSM Isn't Part 3

If you have not read part one or two click on my name to go to my page to do so.

One myth that I haven't heard but heard similar ones to is that BDSM is about hurting people and making them do things they don't want to do. There's so much wrong with this statement. First off people can ask not to be hurt. Secondly, the lifestyle is just not all these people running around hurting people. The good people in the lifestyle actually care about people and their boundaries. Third, people can set up boundaries and the right people will respect the boundaries of others. It's not always violent or painful.

I've heard this next myth. Submissives like to be treated like dirt in their daily lives. This can be true and can also not be true. What I mean by that is there are some subs who do like being treated like dirt and degraded. Other subs aren't into degrading. Subs have respect for themselves and their Doms have respect for them too.

There's so many myths about Doms and subs. This one is crazy. Dominants are evil, power-hungry rapists. I know! Ok some of these myths are good markers to figure out if the Dom you have encountered is good or not. All Doms are not rapists even though there some people who claim to be a Dom to lure a sub in so they can rape them. There are also people who become Doms and then use that power to rape people. Those are not all Doms. To one of the other parts to this myth, not all Doms are evil. There are Doms who are evil or can do evil things but these are not true dom. Power hungry may describe fake Doms but not the true Doms. We talked about this earlier the subs have more control in the dynamic because the sub can ultimately say no to something if they don't want to or they feel uncomfortable.

People get the wrong idea about what this lifestyles involves. One of the ideas is that it always involves sex. It's not always sex, orgies, swing, three ways and gangbangs. The lifestyle is so much more than sex; it's trust, relationships and exploring. There is sex involved with a lot of the dynamics but not all of them. There's a whole subsection of this lifestyle called DDLG that is based on a non sexual power exchange. There are people who like sex in this lifestyle but they don't want their whole dynamic to be about sex. There's also asexual people and virgins in the lifestyle that don't want sex at all that may want to do kinky things.

Are you ready to hear one myth that will blow your mind? The myth is that you have to go to a prostitute for BDSM type things. So I don't know where this myth came from but it's a little mind boggling. There are so many people that are into this sort of thing that people don't have to pay for it. If people want to pay for kink I'm sure there are people (like me) who would accept payment for kink. Now there are pro Doms and pro subs but people don't have to go to the pros for kink. All you have to do is going to clubs, munches or fet life or a combination of the 3 to find kinky people.

Some people think that you have to wear all these crazy clothes to be in this lifestyle but you don't. Some people wear latex or leather and others wear lingerie but it's not about the clothes it's more about your personality and who you are. For some people those clothes are apart of their fetish or their aesthetic.

BDSM is not a new idea. It's been around for awhile but is having a surge in popularity with the introduction of 50 Shades books that came out a few years ago and the movies that came out just recently. Although this may make it a trend I hate when people treat it as such. This is a lifestyle that needs to be treated with respect, yes it also needs to be fun.

There's a myth that you have to be submissive or dominate and that is not true. You can be both and that is called being switch. Now you can switch from day to day, week to week or even during a session or a scene. You can also be a rope bunny or countless other things.

BDSM is not rare. There are a lot of people who go to munches and conventions. It's just not talked about because people can loose their job and families because of this lifestyle. Plus it's really no one's business. Some studies show that 40% of the population is kinky.

Then there's the people who believe that if you dominate at your job you will be dominate in the bedroom. That's not true maybe they'll be submissive in the bed room or vanilla. You're BDSM role isn't who you are in life for most people.

There's the myth that you have to have a lot of toys or fancy equipment to be into BDSM. You don't have to have all the toys or the most expensive things to do this lifestyle. You can buy as you go or get the quality stuff in your price range. People even make their own toys or equipment. Props aren't even necessary.

This myth I've heard a few times, real subs don't have safe words. All subs are given the choice to have safe words. There are some instances were safe words aren't used like punishments. Every sub is different so there maybe subs that don't want them. Some people may believe that having safe word means you don't trust your dom. Safe words gives the sub a way out if things go to far or a way out before they go too far.