What BDSM Has Done for Me!

What Being a Sub Has Done for Me:

So many myths about the world of BDSM are constantly being flung about, the vast majority by people who hide behind their ignorance of the subject. Often they have these ideas of what it is, but have never looked into it, never spoken to anyone in the lifestyle, or met anyone who is.

I suppose if you wanted to put a label on what type of person I am, within the lifestyle, you would say I am a bratty submissive. Yes, I am quite a brat at times, much to the exasperation of my Dom (who must have the patience of a saint to put up with my pouting, smart ass mouth replies, and regular need to try and play pranks on Him)!

Let's go back a few steps though, and let me describe my journey into this lifestyle. At the age of 21, I met with a man who called himself a Dom. He wasn't. I know that now and I learnt that the hard way, the very hard way! He was abusive, cruel, and sadistic. Back then, the internet was really expensive and the majority of homes didn't have any. Nowadays there is a huge amount of information available on how to spot these fake Doms. Still, he may not have raised any red flags even if I did know then what I know now. He discussed what I was willing to do, what my limits were, and more. He had me print out copies of my likes and limits. He let me pick a safeword I was happy to use... and then when we met he ignored it all!

Fast forward 19 years and I, by chance, met my current Dom. I didn't know he was a Dom right away. We spoke about everything and anything for weeks—nothing about BDSM or even sex was mentioned at first. It made a real change to have someone who wanted to get to know as much about me as they could. So, when He told me he was a Dom, did I freeze like a rabbit in the headlights? Not at all, because by then he had already shown me that real Doms are gentlemen, too. I sensed he had a really caring side, and this thing called after care was discussed, I had never heard of it before, and had certainly never experienced it before.

By this time, I struggled with depression, anxiety, and agorophobia. I had been through one bad relationship after another. I was totally messed up, emotionally and mentally. My Dom saw all this, and it didn't change a thing on how he felt about me being His sub.

So now we are several months into a Dom/sub dynamic, and I am a totally changed person. I no longer have an hour's anxiety attack at the thought of just leaving my home. I have more self confidence. I am infinitely happier and more balanced. I have been shown how deeply caring a real Dom is, and should be.

Those who think it is abuse are wrong. My Dom has never, not once, even come close to abusing me. He never would do that. I trust Him without question, without hesitation. Being a sub has turned my life around completely. I can now be who I need to be. I can safely live out a side of me I kept hidden for so many years. I have learnt what it feels like to be respected and cared for. I am happier, more confident, and more outgoing than ever before in my life To put it bluntly... I am free to be me. BDSM has had nothing but positive effects on me and my entire life. I will happily kneel at the feet of the man who gave me all this and so much more. He respects me as much as I do Him. This is just as it should be.