Welcome to the World of MisterZulu: An Introduction

Just in case you were wondering, every character in this essay is of the age of actual human consent. I feel it needed to be said. Thank you and enjoy the rest of the show.

Hello.

My online handle is MisterZulu. And I like to draw very weird shit—even by the standards of those who frequent Sickest Sites.

No, no, no, it's not because I draw stuff that grosses even them out. Trust me, that would be impossible for anyone to do—I mean, have you been there? Wow. Just wow. Ahem, sorry for getting off track. It's not what I draw that rubs these guys the wrong way, it's how I draw it.

You see, I am—in a matter of speaking—a student of the likes of Tex Avery, Bob Clampett, Willard Bowsky, Grim Natwick and all the other vibrant talents behind some of the Golden Age of Animation's wildest moments. Speaking of the above animation maestros, Red Hot Riding Hood, So White, and Betty Boop were among my childhood crushes. I may have even gotten my first taste of lust after seeing Jessica Rabbit when I was about eight. I could be wrong, as my memories of my youth are kind of fuzzy...

Then came Ralph Bakshi. More specifically Wizards. More specifically, Princess Elinore. And Rozzie from Hey, Good Lookin. And Taarna, Catherine Wells, and the Professor's Daughter from Heavy Metal.

Elinore as Drawn by the Legendary Tom and Jerry Animator Irv Spence

Seeing cartoon girls drawn like Ellie did things to my fragile young mind. Got to the point where I was wondering what she looked like naked. I would have tried to draw her in the buff, but it wouldn't have held a candle to Irven Spence's rendition of her. Speaking of Mr. Spence...

Rozzie from 'Hey, Good Lookin'

...He had a knack for drawing very cute, curvy women, especially when he was working for Ralph--one of my biggest influences. Unlike with Elinore, you do get to see her naked towards the end of the movie. It's worth it, believe me. It's also because of toon gals like her that I never had a problem with Ashley Graham—when so many other guys in the world did. Fuck 'em. It's because of her and Elinore that I fell in lust with this beauty:

Leanne Crow, for the Uninitiated...

Women like the beauty above only fed the fetish more. Seeing her do web-shows is a hoot. She enjoys being a well-endowed slab of Grade A Woman, and is not afraid to show it.

I can't help it—I'm a Breast Man, and Lee has plenty to spare. To feel the heft of magnificent mounds, the buttery softness of their skin, the disc of their areolae as blood rushes to her... ahem. Sorry. Couldn't help myself.

The world needs more girls like her, not just for the cannibal fetish, but in general.

The Professor's Daughter from the Harry Canyon Sequence of 'Heavy Metal'

My thing for curvy redheads came from this delicious dame. I wish she'd been cooked golden brown instead of melted at the end of the segment. It would have fucked with the flow of the story, but seeing Harry give her the cannibal equivalent of cunnilingus would have made my day!

Taarna, Again from 'Heavy Metal.'

That may be hard to reconcile with the title image up above, but its true. There are those who find the cannibal/gynophagia fetish enticing. There's just something oh-so-very taboo about it. You could say I'm one of those people, even if many of those people would call you a moron for saying so. Why is that?

My stuff... is too CARTOONY for them. Yeah, I'd like to see a hot girl's breasts between slices of Wonder Bread, maybe even seeing them bitten into. But at the end of the day, a gore-hound I am certainly not. Someone once compared me to a cross between SpongeBob SquarePants and Eli Roth, a watered down Eli Roth—I couldn't sit through more than five minutes of Hostel Part II without wanting to throw up. Even watching one of my favorite movies—The Toxic Avenger—is hard for me to accomplish. If you've ever seen that flick, you'll know why. So yeah, despite being the guy who draws girls getting cooked and eaten, even I have my limits.

As for my drawing style, it has evolved over time. It has gone from this, a scene from one of my first ever comics and collaborations with a talented writer named Karl Franz, that involved a schoolteacher regretting introducing her students to joys of Thanksgiving.

From Miss Cindy's 'Thanksgiving Surprise,' One of My First Published Comics

Yeah, I know in the cann fetish, you call gals like the one above a long-pig, but she put on a turkey costume and everything, so... well...

About six years after that, my adaptation of Menagerie's The Customer is Always Right came to fruition. The main crux of the tale, whose "entrees" are depicted below, concerned a busty blonde saleslady selling cookware to the wrong damn people. People, in this case, being of the goblin-type variety. While you can probably guess the ending, if you were to ever actually read it, you'd be pleasantly surprised at how it climaxes. :)

Model Sheet from 'The Customer is Always Right'—Censored for Virgin Eyes...

As of recently, my style changed again--this time mixing together what I had done in the past into a nice in-between of the two. The panel below is from 'Lectra Lunch and Dyna Dinner. Guess who's on the menu in this tawdry, tender tale! It is, as of now, unfinished but nearing the finish line really damn soon!

A Mix of Both of the Above Styles...

And just before you start calling me sexist and misogynistic, may you draw your attention to the madness below. Why do that? Well, you'd be surprised at how many of my fans were into "man-meat." In a moment of inspiration, I introduced a character I named Bologna Boy:

Yeah, Guys Find Their Way on to My Characters' Menu, Too!

If you guys are interested, I'd like to go into specifics with how I draw, and even share some stories with you that some of you out there would really enjoy. And if you want to see me uncensored, head to patreon.com/misterzulu. It won't break the bank, and you'd be more than satisfied with all the comics and even animation I have done in the past decade!

That is all I have for you guys... for now. But stick around—you might see or read something you'll really like! If this makes it past the censors, that is!

We will see what happens, but for now all that is left to say is—

SEE YA WHEN I SEE YA!!