Weirdest Sex Toys on Amazon

Amazon's commitment to sexual wellness has never been bigger. Soon you can have a weird dildo delivered by a drone the same day its ordered. Order it in the morning and be playing with it that night. Surprised? You shouldn't be.

Alice is in wonderland with her kinky pussy cat. The Doc Johnson Wonderland toy will make her purr.

If you don't know what a Prince Albert Piercing is do not click the Buy Now button. But it is really nice of Amazon to service everyone, including the few brave souls who somehow managed to get their penis pierced.

If you dig getting blown by Mr. Jack's pulsating latex mouth, this is the gift for you. And even better, Jack's got a mustache.

The Kinky Kat collection from Doc Johnson has something for both sexes. The C-ring is a hole. Your cock goes through it, and then straight on to wonderland (no magic mushrooms or white rabbits needed).

Ok, this one is so fucked up, that it is more gag than utilitarian product. But que sera, sera. There is even a fake blood tablet.

Get to the point lickity split. Tongues on a rotating wheel mat make you squeal. Leave it to the Japanese to figure it out. With multiple speeds you can lick it good, lick it real good.

No laughing matter this is a clown you play with. Yep you can now use a clown as dildo. Thank you 2016.

I think the important part of cloning a willy is choosing the color.

I guess I get it, but it really does require a suspension of belief when you have a gag in the mouth of a latex love doll that cannot speak.

Not something an interior decorator might recommend. But it is something to keep in closet. It doubles as a stool to reach that top shelf in there. Otherwise just between changing outfits, you might want to have a seat.

As an existentialist, I get it. It is really a pansexual toy, close your eyes and use your imagination.

This glove is the shit. Rub it on your face, balls or vagina. Its all good. Freddy Kruger approved.

Geisha is synonymous with sexual pleasure in pop culture. What better way to masturbate than with the reliability of a geisha?

That's nuts. This teddy bear is not for children. The tongue is electric.

No you cannot listen to Spotify with these buds, but you sure will get off on the groove.

It isn't leather but it looks like it and is easy to clean.

A bit weird, but you get used to it and it saves time on laundry.

This is invaluable after an orgy. Find semen anywhere it wound up. The floor. The couch. The bathroom. The garage. Grab your CSI black light and start cleaning up.