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Transform Your Relationship

You can take the relationship with your husband or boyfriend to new heights by thinking outside the social box.

By Alexa MartinezPublished 7 years ago 11 min read
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Imagine that we, as strong intelligent woman, could re-design the social constructions in which we live. Forget how things are today and clear your mind. Lay back on the sofa, close your eyes and let your mind drift into fantasy. Everything is a blank sheet and you can re-boot everything and start again. Be selfish, think about what what you really want. Maybe you'd like to have your own way more often, maybe you want more leisure time? How about having someone else to take responsibility for those annoying aspects of home life: washing, ironing, shopping and housework? You want to be given respect and attention, you're treated with veneration and deference by your partner. Your sex life becomes intense and exhilarating. So orders followed without question?

This is all within your grasp but first you will need to change the social paradigm within your own mind. Let me tell you how I changed my marriage by challenging and then changing the rules we all live by. I didn't see any commandments telling us it has to be this way. So I smashed the accepted social structure in the relationship with my husband and changed the way it operates. I became the boss of our relationship. It works and if you can do the same, your husband or boyfriend will thank you for it. Eventually.

Changing the relationship dynamic

To be upfront, the approach I'm advocating for relationships has a strong fetish element attached to it. You need to get beyond this to see what you can achieve within a loving and caring partnership. Even so, the sexual electricity from my proposed changes is part of the reason for making the alterations I advocate. What I'm talking about is reversing what might be considered as the traditional husband/wife dynamic. It's true that I've seen major changes in my lifetime in how husbands and wives, girlfriends and boyfriends, live and operate together. Men now often take their fair share of the burden that used to fall on the woman in the home. He is rarely the 'head of the home' in the bad old ways. To my mind it has to go much further. I say we need to switch the relationship dynamic to replicate the old stereotypical 1950s social order. This is where the housewife was expected to be the pretty home-keeper and the man the provider and the boss at home. In my new world, the man becomes the housewife and the woman the provider and the head of the home. I deliberately used the term housewife to describe the new male partner's role as you will see later. When I first introduced my first hesitant changes in my own relationship status to my husband, my husband and I looked online for ideas and advice. We were inundated with pornography, outlandish stories and advertisements for sexual services from dominant women. This led me to start a blog on the reality of living in such a relationship away from the ridiculous nonsense we saw on the internet. My true-life posts about the ups and downs of such a relationship connected with a community. We found a large number of like-minded people and other couples who also live our lifestyle. We now have friends locally and around the world, who are like us. So what did I do?

How did I improve my relationship?

In short, I feminised my husband and took control. I Feminised him in how social convention perceives femininity. He is now my housewife. I don't mean I changed him biologically or with surgery of course, he is still a male underneath the changes. The idea to make these changes was mine and I had to take him along carefully to my end goal. I had to persuade and cajole, sometimes being a little tough but mostly with love and care. And sex. Today he is a happy, content, loved and loving housewife. He no longer has to worry about those masculine, macho requirements imposed on him by society. We already had a great relationship and I don't think it would have worked so well if we hadn't. Now the relationship is beyond anything I could have expected.

We are both professional people and my husband is highly educated with a responsible middle-management role in a major corporation. He also happens to mainly work from home which helps with how I expect him to be. Outside of the home, no one is aware of the change or at least the extent of the changes. We maintain a face of normality to the world. Whatever I might say about our artificial social rules, I don't think many are ready for this change yet.

A new-world relationship

I started the changes about five years ago, in early 2012. It hadn't been my plan to go as far as I did, but I began to see major improvements in our relationship due to what was then, a game. Today, I am the boss, the head of the home, not in a nasty bossy way. I like to think of myself as a benign boss. It wouldn't work if I wasn't this way and my husband wouldn't accept the situation. He may be feminised but that doesn't mean he's a soft touch either. We discuss all the kinds of things as a married couple would but ultimately, I make the decisions.

My decisions extend to his clothing. Not specific items although at times I do choose them if I want something naughty. I decide on his general clothing style which is that he wears only female clothing at home. It's one of the few areas where I will get annoyed if he fails to change out of his male outer wear immediately when coming into the house. I don't allow trousers in the house (for him) even female trousers. He has to wear skirts or dresses. I believe this is imperative for the relationship to work in the way it needs to. I also insist on female underwear including bras. He has no male underwear any more. I disposed of his pyjamas some time ago and he now has female nighties for bed.

Up to now in this article I have referred to my husband using male pronouns. This was for clarity. In practice, I refer to him using female pronouns and as a girl. I've renamed him 'Alice' although I generally call him girl as in, “be a good girl and get me a drink.” Note that I refer to him as a girl and not as a woman. This is to reinforce the impression in his mind that he is in an inferior position to adult women. Alice calls me Mistress or my Lady, hence my pen name Lady Alexa.

We all know that being a girl doesn't imply submissiveness. I use the term girl in the stereotypical manner a male might see things in order to to reinforce his femininity and submission to me. It strips him of any false machismo and male superiority ideas which was the object of this transformation.

Like females often do, Alice has to shave 'her' body hair and uses only female beauty products. This includes shampoos, perfumes, shaving items and so on. Not all 'her' body hair has been shaved as I like 'her' to keep 'her' pubic hairs trimmed in a triangular shape. A facsimile of a woman's pubic hair shape as another symbol of femininity. Symbols work in all areas of life to reinforce rules and this is no different. This is another area where I am insistent that she follows my rules. This transformation would not work unless Alice sees 'herself' as a pretty housewife.

Another factor that I've found important from experience is to exaggerate my husband's new femininity. What I mean by this is that I make 'her' wear very short skirts, stockings and colours like pinks and whites for example. 'She' has female shoes with heels and has learnt to walk in them. 'She' is tall and slim and has legs to die for. Why encase them in trousers when they can be on show for me to admire thanks to 'her' wearing a little skirt?

In a psychological sense this is an adult/child relationship, although I prefer to think of it in a mistress/housemaid way. To this end there are certain other areas that maintain this status. I expect Alice to curtsey to me when serving, as a housemaid would do. I have a bell that I ring when I want something. I don't overdo it but it's useful at times. I will also spank Alice if she misbehaves. I instruct her to lay across my knee, skirt up and panties to her ankles. There is of course a certain erotic side to this act which injects an electricity into our sexual life too.

What are the benefits of a female led relationship?

Contrary to what this might appear at first glance, the benefits apply to both the man and the woman. For me the benefits are obvious. Firstly, I have a pretty housemaid to ensure my needs are put first and to make my life comfortable. Secondly, returning to the sexual theme, I find a male body in revealing feminine clothing exciting from a visual aspect. It's a big turn on. More than this, the arousal from the feeling of power, the feeling that I have the power to feminise and mould someone is like a strong aphrodisiac, a potent drug. After five years it has never worn off. Finally clothing and roles change the person. My husband is unlikely to do or say anything aggressive or macho when wearing a pink mini skirt with stockings, suspenders and high heels. Arguments between us have all but ceased. The stripping of machismo through so-called feminine clothing and other symbols is highly effective.

So what is in it for my husband, now housewife/maid? In the first instances, 'her' cross-dressing and my female domination was a bedroom game. Although I initiated this game, 'she' loved it too. As a middle-aged couple, it added an amazing spice to our sex life. Something clicked within me though and I wanted it more regularly and not just as a sex game. There is at times, some resistance to my wishes to extend 'her' feminisation outside the bedroom. Gradually 'she' has became used to it. After a time 'she' admitted that the feel of fine skirts and dresses against 'her' shaved legs was a wonderful feeling. 'She' now prefers wearing female clothing, I no longer have to insist on it too much at home. There is more in it for 'her' than sex and nice clothing. As I touched on before, 'she' like many males, felt pressured by society's expectations of how to act according to society's requirements of a man. 'She' has been able to withdraw from this expectation and allow me to take charge. 'She' doesn't have to be the handsome knight in armour rescuing me although 'she' can if necessary. Instead, 'she' can be the pretty damsel enjoying the love and care of 'her' boss and mistress. I will never tire of seeing 'her' embarrassed but pleased face when I tell 'her' 'she's' a pretty girl or has sexy legs. 'She' has relaxed and found an inner peace in emasculation.

What's next?

Some of you reading about this article may be initially shocked at the thought of turning a male partner into an ersatz girl. Female domination, male feminisation and submission in a relationship seem to belong in a porn video. However, ask yourself why men shouldn't have the submissive role in a partnership? Think about why society has ascribed certain items of clothing and colours to certain genders. Once you see that it's no more than an artificial construction then you too may start to challenge the status quo. Putting males into skirts and dresses changes their behaviour for the better. I've seen that with my husband and in the alternative couples I've since met through my blog. A man's behaviour will become softer and more gentle once feminised. 'She' will no longer throw himself down, legs apart onto a seat for example. 'She'll be more delicate and ensure 'her' legs are together. 'She'll be much less inclined to argue, shout and be aggressive. They become more co-operative and more compliant.

My husband and I have come a long way in our relationship. That said, there are some further changes to make to increase my husband's femininity and manner. I know 'she' may be surprised at first at my new idea and even refuse. Eventually 'she'll' know it's for the best and generally accepts my changes in the end. I'd never force anything on Alice 'she' really didn't want. For example, I wanted 'her' to have pierced ears and 'she' refused saying it would be too obvious to the outside world. 'She' still doesn't have pierced ears and wears clip-on earrings instead. We found a compromise as we always do. In the main, our journey has been relatively straightforward and today we are in the most wonderful place imaginable.

Once my husband allowed himself to let go and accept my leadership then everything became easier for us both. Why not give it a go yourself? You may be surprised at just how wonderful your relationship becomes.

In the meantime if you'd like to know more, you can find my blog at www.ladyalexauk.com or you can write to me at [email protected]. You can also find my story on Amazon or Kobo; How I Feminised my Husband. I write under the pen name Lady Alexa.

On my next post I'll go into some more detail but for now, good luck ladies and let's transform our relationships for the better today.

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About the Creator

Alexa Martinez

Alexa is an author and blogger on Female-Led Relationships, Feminisation and Femdom using her pen name Lady Alexa. Her fetish novels can be found on most online bookstores such as Amazon, Smashwords, Apple Books and many more.

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