Threesomes and Thrupples

The Pros and Cons

Three is company.

We’re living in a time when just about anything goes. We can pretty much make whatever moral, emotional, and sexual choice we want... and not get stoned. At least in most parts of the world we won’t get stoned, just talked about on social media.

Many couples, for one reason or another, desire to have other people in their beds. They desire sex with someone outside of their relationship. In some cases, they desire a relationship outside their relationship.

Before I go into the real meat of the matter (pun intended) let’s look at the definition of a threesome and how it differs from a thrupple.

A threesome is essentially three people engaging in sexual activity with each other, at the same time. It could be a woman and two men, a man and two women, all men or all women.

A Thrupple refers to three people having a romantic relationship with each other, at the same time. I’d say it’s a facet of Polyamory.

The lines between both tend to get blurred quite easily but there are differences as well as similarities.

A threesome suggests that all parties engage in sex with each other at the same time, whereas in a thrupple, it’s more than just sex. Therefore, a threesome is neither a requirement nor a staple within a Thrupple.

But what are the pros in this type of arrangement? What are the cons? In a time when more adults than ever are exploring, discovering, and truly identifying their sexuality, there’s an influx of alternative arrangements. These deviate far from tradition and I’d like to explore some of the benefits as well as the repercussions.

What are the pros?

The romantic spark stays alive longer.

Most couples will get bored after some time. The longer you’ve been together with someone, the more sex you have and soon you’ll come to realize you’ve already tried just about everything.

There’s also the issue of men requesting threesomes as a birthday gift or otherwise. In some instances, the woman has no interest in inviting another woman in their bed, but she prefers it to her partner doing the very same thing behind her back.

There’s more variety.

An extra body means there’s more that can be done sexually. For example, someone who wants to give cunnilingus while being penetrated can easily do so when it’s three people. In some cases, women reported that’s the easiest and best way for them to orgasm.

It curtails incidents of infidelity.

A man who has permission to have sex with another woman without retribution from his wife/girlfriend is less likely to go sneaking outside his relationship. For whatsoever it is he wanted to experience, he now his two willing participants in the comfort of his own home.

Less Reliance on One Party

In some cases, the third party isn’t just there to provide sexual favors but to be part of the household. So bills, chores, and responsibilities are now shared instead of divided by two people. A woman might not need to put her kids in daycare when there’s another woman living in her home. They might also split domestic duties, which will result in less burnout for both.

What are the cons?

All parties are exposed to STDS.

The more people one engages in sex acts with, the less likely one is to consistently use protection. For example, a man taking turns having penetrative sex with two women at once will probably not change condoms when he switches women every two minutes.

A woman fellating a man while he’s penetrating another woman is probably not gonna have him get up and wash himself every few minutes.

In order to not disrupt the flow, they’ll probably opt to not use protection at all.

Unwanted Pregnancies

The "outside" woman might get pregnant. That may not be what the couple wants. What she decides to do could make or break the relationship/arrangement.

The additional partner becomes emotionally attached.

Women are emotional creatures, men are physical. In many cases, a woman enjoys sex if she’s emotionally connected to her mate. She may also become connected after engaging in sexual activity. Unless that’s what the other two parties want, then things could become complicated.

Most men sleeping with two willing women will admit they don’t want to give that up if they don’t have to. For that reason a man may seek to extend the time they’ve previously agreed on. In fact, the couple may individually try to keep the outside woman around, without their partner’s knowledge, thus creating a new problem in their relationship.

I believe that the whole point of being an adult is we get to make our own decisions, be that as it may. So to each his own; however, I have a few suggestions for any couple out there thinking of exploring via a thrupple or threesome.

  • Don’t do/agree to it unless you’re sure that’s what you want. You’re not doing your partner any favors if you’re only agreeing for his/her sake.
  • It’s a bit like inviting a demon into your home. You understand that you can’t very well tell it what to do once it’s in. You can never be sure if it will follow your rules. It’s much easier to invite it than to get rid of it.
    • In other words, it’s easier to get your man to have sex with another woman than it is to get him to stop. The same goes for a man giving his woman permission to sleep with another man or woman.
  • Lastly, have a contingency plan. Locate that red button or emergency brake before you begin. Do several drills just to make sure it will work.

But then again, you cannot control another person’s thought process. So I say have at it and good luck.

To read more of my rambling, go to Nattalie Gordon and follow me on the Gram: @nattaliewithtwoteez.

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