This Is You

A knock on the door woke me up from my deep sleep. The thunder was loud outside, the rain was pouring, sliding down the windows. It soothed me. Relaxed the tension in my shoulders and mind. But it was also a constant reminder of the person I used to be. A storm-filled monster ready to drown anyone who dared to make me feel something other than him.

Once I got to my door, I opened it and to my surprise it was you. Memories of legs tangled beneath the sheets, sweat, skin, hungry kisses, tongues colliding. The ache between my legs throbbed. I bit my lip in order to stop myself from saying something irrational.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to show you something."

I was confused and still rather shocked you were actually here. But I set aside my thoughts and let you in. You took my hand right after I had closed and locked my door. The instant heat and electricity ran through every nerve, rushed through my veins, enhanced the desire I had for you.

My hands wrapped around your neck and my lips closed over yours. My kiss wasn't innocent. It wasn't naive. The roughness, my teeth biting your lower lip, almost drawing blood, reflected my inner self. The part I had ignored all these years without you. The part that was scratching against the sugar-coated walls I had built around me. It was ready to resurface and cause mayhem. It was ready to scream loud enough to make your mind bleed.

Your skin felt hot, tense beneath my fingertips. I managed to make a moan escape from your lips as soon as I tugged your pants off. As soon as you stepped out of them, you gripped my wrists, hard enough to make me look up at you.

"Remember."

I nodded, remembering what you always told me. Pleasure wasn't allowed to come from anyone else. It was a deep rooted need that only you and your hands could fill.

The room was dark, so I found it amazing how you found my bedroom quickly through the darkness. Once inside, you pushed me on the bed. I watched you, with the light from the moon, undress. The look in your eyes, hungry, like a dog eyeing a piece of meat, made me swallow hard. I wasn't scared. I wanted it more than you did.

You hovered over me, leaning down to kiss my neck. My eyes closed and I bit my lip. I felt your hands grip my wrists again. This time, I felt you tie up my wrists to the headboard. Something inside me told me to scream in protest, informing me this was my final curtain call before I let this encounter go on, but I didn't. I was intrigued and extremely wet. I was desperate for you to get on with your game, so I could find release. But when you placed a blindfold around my eyes, I had to say something.

"Take this off me." I warned while my tongue licked my lips.

"Not until you open your eyes and see."

See what? I didn't know since he had blindfolded me. My eyes weren't to be used during this sexual encounter, so my mind started to wonder if he had lost his mind more than I have, as the room went silent again. I thought that you had left, but when I heard my bedroom door open then close again, I knew you were back.

I waited impatiently, my leg bouncing against the bed. A warm hand made its way up my leg, towards my inner thigh. It wasn't yours. I'd know your touch anywhere. This touch felt softer, less rough. It's precision, the way it stopped then continued, running my impatience thin, made me wonder who it was you had let touch my skin, when you've always claimed it as yours.

Once I felt the warm breath against my lips, the scent of a perfume filled my nose. That was when I knew it was a woman hovering over me. Her scent was sweet, almost intoxicating. My thoughts hazed and found a new sensation, as her hand slipped in between my thighs, her fingers slipping easily against my slick folds. I held back a moan as she slipped her fingers out.

"She's ready," Her voice filled my ears and I swallowed hard.

What kind of game was this? You swore you'd never let anyone touch me besides you. Was this your sexual fantasy? It sure as hell wasn't mine.

Her perfume surrounded me again and I knew she was near me. It was when I left my legs elevated on top of her shoulders that I knew what she was going after. I writhed in protest, not willing to accept anyone's mouth on me besides yours.

I felt your hand caress my cheek and my nerves instantly started to calm down.

"Shh, relax. It'll be over soon."

I felt your lips brush over mine, the tip of your tongue meeting mine as you drew away. That was when her hands parted my thighs and her warm, velvet tongue swiped over my soaking folds, opening them, making me twitch, and moan softly. I could feel my inner walls grow more sodden as her tongue licked. She swirled her tongue over my clit, then took it in between her lips and sucked, making me grunt with impatience, writhe with hot desire. I felt your hand grip mine, and I squeezed it tightly. Her fingers slipped in, going in deep, as her tongue kept swirling, her lips sucking. I squeezed your hand again and kept squeezing until I felt the pressure build in the pit of my stomach. I felt your hot breath against my ear, once again, and I craved for your kiss.

"Let go and you'll get what you want."

"I want you."

I heard you chuckle and I felt your hand close over my breast, your thumb rubbing the hardened nipple. I bit the inside of my cheek and groaned in desperation.

She licked faster, sucked harder. Your words echoed in my mind. Let go and you'll get what you want. Let go and you'll get what you want.

I felt the beginning of my orgasm run through me. But I held my breath, not willing to let myself scream if it weren't because of you.

"You're not letting go," he grew impatient. But so was I.

"I don't want to."

"Do it. And you'll be free."

Freedom? Is that what I wanted? I didn't have time to answer my own question.

The orgasm grew and grew, until I could no longer stop myself. Sweat dripped from my body, her hands caressed my thighs. Your lips were close to mine. The orgasm rocked through me just as I let go of your hand. I felt her lips leave my opening and then I felt yours. You drank from me hungrily. But I was still wet enough for more. Always more.

Desperation filled me and I writhed, pulling against my restraints. I didn't like being tied up. In fact it angered me more than anything. The thought of being bound, unable to see or touch, only feel and smell and taste, it fed the darkness inside me. And it liked that I was angry, furious, ready for a torture you could only give me.

I felt your breath against my ear again, your body nestled in between my legs.

"Wake up. It's time to wake up."

My eyes opened as soon as the blindfold was off. The bright light coming from the window made me flinch, my hand hovering over my eyes to block the sunlight.

It was morning. I looked around. Looked at my wrists, filled with confusion.

Was it a dream? Was it all a dream?

That was when I noticed a note on top of the pillow next to me. I reached for it and read the curved handwriting and sighed with deep disappointment.

This is you. Never me. Please remember.

I wanted to cry out of frustration. You'd no longer sleep next to me and, for a while, I still had hope. But now I knew what I had to do.

I had to be myself again and let you go for good.