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How many things can really change in a single week? I have been at this job almost two weeks now. I have known Mick for that long. Yet, this is day one of something even different from that.
My hands are running along my body.
Somehow I keep thinking about the book Lolita. The gorgeous syllables that Vladimir Nabokov spun into something so sensual.
This is just the peak of perfect fertility. It’s natural for a man to want someone younger than him. Someone who is new and tight…
I shudder at that thought.
But what if he is touching himself right now to the thought of me? I slide my finger over myself again and again.
He probably throbs at the thought of having me, tasting someone so young again.
I imagine his mouth. The words… come sit on my face. I would. I would allow you to taste me and have me.
I nuzzle my face into my pillow. I’m panting.
No rain, so nothing to look at today.
I want to get up from my desk and find a question to ask Mick. I patiently await his arrival to sweep me up and train me.
We hit it off immediately when I first started my job. He was the only one that cared enough to talk to me, or took the time to train me—aside from the other new guy.
I could hear Mick coming towards the desk now.
“Did you invite the boy toy over after all last night?”
“No,” I chime. “Why?”
“You just seem so distracted and—well, you’re actually glowing today. Just figured, you know?”
I didn’t say anything. I bit my pen and stared and him, twisting my chair from side to side.
He breathed in harshly. “Come on. New day, new training.”
“So it is.”
I took thorough notes today, only letting morsels of daydreams float into my head. I kept watching Mick’s muscular hands on the keyboard. I wanted to grab his hand and push it between my legs.
I chewed my pen harder. I wore a black, frilly skirt today for him. The dress code is pretty lax around here.
“You should probably quit biting that,” he turned to me. “It’s almost time for lunch. There’s a luncheon upstairs.”
“Yeah, those things companies do to celebrate.”
I gave him an annoyed look and he smiled.
“I can chew on whatever I want,” I huffed at him.
“You are such a damn child,” he was smiling. The pen fell out of my hand then. “Oh, now should you chew on it? It’s been on the floor.”
“I won’t, I won’t.”
“Jesus, did you throw it under the desk?” It did the trick of dropping next to a desk and teleporting.
I saw it, finally.
“Oh, calm yourself,” I chided.
“Go get your chewed up pen. I don’t even want it under my desk,” he was laughing now. “You’re a mess.”
I popped down onto the floor, laughing. I crawled over to grab it.
Mick really is playful. It’s refreshing.
The underside of his desk had a mess of items under it—paper clips and magnets.
“Stacy, do you have that pen yet?” Mick sounded alarmed. I froze. What’s up with him?
I stopped. I’m wearing a short skirt.
Is he... looking?
“Just a second. It’s trapped under the desk,” I bluffed.
I breathed in harshly. Then I wiggled my ass a bit.
I shouldn’t be doing this.
“Stacy, we need to finish our training,” Mick breathed out. He sounded desperate.
I pulled myself back up with a smile.
I saw it, then. Mick’s eyes had changed. The sweetheart, almost dog-like man had lust in his eyes. For a moment he was looking up and down my body—those eyes told me he wasn't playing.
He closed his eyes. “Did you get it?” I just nodded as he opened them again.
The tension between us was palpable for a moment. I bit my lip.
“Quit biting your lip,” he huffed, surprising me. “Come, we need to get to the luncheon. It's five till eleven.”
Neither of us moved.
He smiled at me and finally got up. Suddenly, he was leaning over me. “Let's go.”
He popped up and laughed.
“You're so tense, calm down Stacy,” his eyes were playful again.
He opened the door to his office and I slowly followed him out.
He led us to the elevator. The luncheon was upstairs. He hopped in and held the door goading me.
I don't know how much longer I can take this tension.
I walked in behind him.
“Pardon me just a second. I need to tuck my shirt in again. I feel like a slob right now.”
He undid his belt, unbuttoning his pants a bit. He pulled up his shirt a few inches. His happy trail was visible on his tummy. I know he could see I was staring.
Arousal was thick in my stomach again.
“So that's it.”
I jumped at his words.
“What is?” I sounded alarmed. He finished tucking in his shirt and redid his belt. He had hit floor number two as well—the doors opened to no one getting on. They slowly closed again.
“Are you trying to childishly seduce me?”
I stared at him.
“Childishly? It is not childish. Quite the opposite in fact.”
He looked at me sideways.
“You think you're going to unravel me, don't you? Well, you're too young to get me. Better give it some time.” He laughed aloud. He finished tucking in his shirt.
“If you want to make this a challenge, we will,” I growled.
“There are only so many tricks you can try. I am not moved easily, Stacy.”
The elevator opened and we both moved out at the same time.
I felt furious—but also interested in the challenge.
We sat together at the table.
Jake, the other new hire, took the other spot next to me.
“So how's training going?” Jake was smiling, but he was always pretty serious.
“Good, I think. How are you doing?”
“Pretty overwhelmed, just at all the numbers. But it will be okay. You mentioned you did freelance work earlier. Would you mind giving me some advice later?”
“Certainly!” He looked pleased.
“Want a drink?”
“Oh! Uh, yes, please. You don't have to go get me one.” He shook his hand at me and went anyway.
“He looks… interested. To say the least,” Mick raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah. I'm pretty sure if I bent over in front of him in a skirt, he would have given me what I wanted.”
Mick looked surprised.
“And what did you want, in an office setting?”
I huffed. “I was waiting to feel fingers slide along the crotch of my underwear. Anything. Maybe even a spank.”
“In your dreams.”
“No, my dreams get much more graphic than that.”
Jake was approaching again.
Once he sat down, the meeting took off.
Zach was at the front, giving his spiel about the greatness of our company. I just didn’t feel like a part of it. I didn’t feel like anything.
The entire room was engaged except for me. Jake even seemed to enthralled with the idea of the office being his family.
I held my stomach. I hate having to feel so alone.
I want to move. I just want to up and leave here.
I felt nauseous all of a sudden. I hated everything about this job. What the hell am I doing?
Mick and I had a serious talk less than a week ago. It’s not the company, it’s just me.
Before I knew it, I was out of my chair heading to the elevator. I didn’t even want to be on the same floor as the other employees. They were all smiling and laughing—feeling like a part of a family.
I jumped out of the elevator into the bathroom. I didn’t have to throw up, anxiety just had me pretty stirred up.
I stared down at the sink. I just wanted to be somewhere out of the Midwest. I just wanted to move along—yet, I chose a job here and started the cycle all over.
Something hurt in the back of my head. Great. I’m probably going to die.
I just ran out of a meeting for no reason. I looked at the sink harder. I don’t want to go back up there.
I pushed the bathroom door open gently. The entire main level was desolate. I sat back at my desk.
What makes the people here want to stay? Why is it that I am the only one unhappy with this job?
I shut my eyes and formed the excuse I would use when people came back downstairs.
“Stacy?” It was Mick. But I couldn't feel anything.
“Hello,” I said weakly. I couldn't look him in the eye.
He sat down in my coworker's chair, rolling over towards me.
“I can’t say it gets easier here,” he was probably hoping I would at least look at him. I couldn’t find the power to.
I felt ashamed that I wanted to leave.
I took a deep breath.
“This was supposed to be perfect. I got out of college, used my experience there to find a new job.”
I stared at the floor.
“That’s what I thought too.”
I finally raised my head up.
“You thought this was the right job for you?”
He nodded. “I don’t like it very much either.”
I felt saddened by that. I felt saddened that I could be in the exact same position.
“You didn’t want to work with online advertisements?”
“I didn’t,” he admitted, softly.
I felt overwhelmed then. I could feel the tears forming around my eyes. This is a story I never even got to begin. I feel like I never gave this place the proper chance. I have been fighting this feeling since I started.
“What is it that you want to do?” he was coaxing me out of my rut.
“Just write. Write anything and everything. Utilize my English major.”
I was starting to cry pretty hard. I couldn’t hold my voice steady.
Mick moved forward in his seat. “Is it okay if I, I don’t know—hold you?”
I was appalled. I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me. I could smell him.
“So how’s this for attracting you?” I laughed through the tears. “I bet you feel so, so attracted to me right now.”
I nuzzled into him, laughing and crying and wondering what I was doing.
“I do,” he was nuzzling into my hair.
I felt calm, finally.
“Old men,” I said like an accusation.
I could feel Mick smile with his face pressed to my hair.