Things Women Think While Receiving Oral Sex

Oral sex out is one of the greatest sexual pleasures of all time. Having a someone between your legs, while you pull their hair and claw at the sheets is what every woman wants, isn’t it? Sure it is, but unlike men who can shut down their brain and become sex driven idiots who barely know their name, women aren’t always so lucky. Unless you’re anticipating the act and rightfully prepared to be spread, licked, and poked, the act of having a man go down on you isn’t always glamorous.

We are talking about a part of our bodies that was created to birth children, an organ that releases eggs monthly, an entry hidden by tight lace and floss-like thongs. This is no penis, swinging around freely in a pair of cotton boxers, removed only to piss or get hard. Day to day a vagina changes, making them as complicated as the women they belong to.

So it is no wonder that when a man starts to head south, a woman tenses with fear. Even after a shower and fresh wax or shave, thoughts of doubt and insecurity cross our minds, especially if it is with a new partner. Don’t get me wrong, oral sex feels amazing and can provide some of the world’s best clitoral orgasms, but that doesn’t change the fact that initially or eventually, questions of uncertainty cross our minds.

Here are just a few of the thoughts that cross a woman’s mind when her partner goes down on her.

Do I smell/taste okay?

It only makes sense that this thought is first on the list; it is the most dreaded fear of all vagina owners. I mean women worry about their ass jiggle and waist size while walking down the street so it is only normal that we worry about our vajeen while a man is nose deep in it. While every woman has her own signature scent and flavor, what may be mere perfection for one, may be a total boner killer for another. Both men and women can admit to this concern especially after a drunken night in a sweaty club, because really who smells like lavender and fresh linen after that shit? Regardless of the activities prior to “the meal” every chick occupies those first few moments wondering if he likes it.

Did I shave well enough, did I miss a spot?

The bush, the landing strip, the bare as a baby; these are all options when it comes to pubic upkeep. Unfortunately, if a woman chooses to take this task on herself, she isn’t always guaranteed a shave job well done. Not to mention the fact that half the areas we have to shave are done through touch and luck. You try taking a razor to one of the most sensitive places on your body without being able to see, it’s like playing Russian roulette with a Bic. Therefore, it only makes sense that when our lover descends south that we worry if we missed a spot, or two.

Do I have to return the favor?

I don’t care what a woman says, during this sensual sex act the thought of, “Does this mean I have to blow him” crosses her mind. Now while I don’t mind a good tit for tat when it comes to oral, not all women feel the same. Of course, there is no written rule to this exchange but in defense, I’ve got to say, if you want them to go down on you then you should absolutely be okay with returning the favor. I’m not saying immediately following, but somewhere in the near future would be nice. We all have gag reflexes bitches, so suck it up (literally) and take one for the team.

Are they going to want to make out after this?

Ahhh, the infamous kissing-after-eating conundrum AKA do I want to taste my own Jamba Juice flavor. I mean listen, if they try to kiss you without a good wipe to the mouth, I can see how that can be a little gross, I mean who wants to kiss someone covered in saliva and juices, but I see no reason why one should steer clear of a kiss if proper clean up is taken. When you’re in a moment that is so hot and intense, your lover is pleasing you, and teasing you to no end, by trying to stop that kiss could seriously put a damper on things. However, if you really can’t handle it try going in for his neck and lobes or redirecting his mouth to yours.

Why are they so damn good at this?

Women love to over think shit. I can almost guarantee that every blowjob known to man never involved a dude questioning why the girl on her knees was so good at sucking dick. Maybe later on in a relationship, sure, but mid-blow, fuck no. However, women love to question every aspect of life and that includes the talent of their current partners pussy eating skills. “Do they eat pussy all the time?” “Is this why they make dental dams?” “Who the fuck actually owns a dental dam?”

When will they stop and just fuck me already?

I love a good chow sesh as much as the next chick, but sometimes (more often than I’ll admit) I just want to be fucked. I get it, you’re doing the right thing by giving us personal attention and preparing our body’s for what’s to come, but sometimes a quick lick and blow is all we need. Some sexual moments, especially really horny “must have you now” moments, women strictly desire penetration. Headboard shaking, wall banging, ass slapping kind of penetration.

Did I unplug my flatiron?

Okay maybe she isn’t thinking about her flatiron specifically, but chances are during some portion of her eat out session, she experiences a flash of anxiety. Whether it be if she forgot to unplug her iron or if she remembered to take her clothes out of the washing machine, whenever a woman has a free second, responsibilities and worries will cross her mind. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had sex and wrote my mental grocery list at the same time. Sorry babe, I’m a busy girl in a hectic world.