Things to Know Before Getting Into an Open Relationship

Before getting into an open relationship, there are a few conversations you should be sure to have with your partner so that you both know the rules and risks.

Monogamy is not for everyone. The hardest thing for some people is settling down with one person. Although most of us were brought up being taught that you should be monogamous, this can be difficult for some people, who just aren't hard wired that way. For this and many other reasons, an open relationship has become the new trend in town.

Before getting into an open relationship, there are a few conversations you should be sure to have with your partner. Taking these things into consideration can ensure that nobody gets hurt, and that the open relationship can fit both of your needs the way it should.

Set Rules with Your Partner

In modern times, finding partners can be fairly easy. However, having sex with multiple partners can bring about a lot of issues. If you are a couple trying to venture into an open relationship, you should first consider alternatives to spark up your own relationship. If either of you isn't actually ready for an open relationship, it can lead to a lot of pain and ultimately a breakup. If the issue is simply the amount or quality of sex you are having, try finding some ways to bring the passion back into your relationship.

If you do decide to have an open relationship, make a set of rules with your partner. These boundaries are important, and can prevent anyone feeling betrayed by something that wasn't identified as concretely "wrong" before it happened. Recommended rules range from simple generalities to specifics involving people and places that cannot be touched as part of the open relationship:

  • Honesty
  • Safety first if you choose to have multiples partners
  • No having sex with any of your mutual friends
  • Respect each other
  • Don't introduce any of your lovers to your partner
  • You can set up a time limit if you are just trying the concept out
  • No sex in the bed you share

Setting rules and playing by these rules will ensure that, even though you guys are seeing other people, your relationship is still strong. The above rules are just a sample of practices used by many couples. You and your partner can create your own custom tailored set of rules to ensure that your relationship can grow.

Can Your Relationship Withstand an Open Relationship?

Having an open relationship can lead to more problems and even to the final breakup of your relationship if you haven't laid the proper foundation. So before jumping into an open relationship, ask yourself if your relationship is strong enough to withstand an open relationship.

Although people may say that sex is just physical, it can increase your emotional bond with a partner, and an open relationship can therefore leave one or both of you less connected emotionally to the relationship. So before deciding to be in an open relationship, ensure that your relationship has a solid foundation. Ensuring that you guys have a good rapport and an open line of communication will make sure that your relationship survives and is even strengthened by this decision.

However, if guys are having troubles in your relationship beyond the dissatisfaction with monogamy, having an open relationship could lead to the end of your relationship. You should first ensure that you work out your other issues before deciding on an open relationship.

Jealousy Control

Human beings are bound to be jealous, especially when their loved one is seeing someone else. Understanding that you will get jealous in this new venture is essential. Before considering an open relationship, evaluate whether or not you can control your jealousy. Some people know how to handle jealousy, while others can cause drama and go on a rampage. So if you or your partner are among those who can't control your jealousy, don't venture into it. Jealousy will lead to more harm than good. An open relationship is for those people who can control their jealousy and can remain happy in their own relationship through the whole experience.

Communication and Honesty

For any relationship to last, communication and honesty are essential. Honesty here starts with you. Be honest with yourself; can you handle sharing your partner? You should be honest with yourself and understand that someone else will be touching your partner and may be having better sex with them than you do. As a couple, you should maintain healthy communication with each other. Maintaining healthy communication will ensure that, even though you are sleeping with other people, your relationship is still a priority in your life. This means not lying about where you are on a Friday night. If the open relationship is a mutual agreement, it's important that you tell your partner where you are and who you're with, so that they don't worry you're breaking the rules you laid out together.

Be Careful of Your Own Feelings

We are emotional beings, and our emotions continue to change throughout our lives. So before venturing into an open relationship, you should understand that our feelings keep evolving, and that having a sexual relationship with other people can cause these changes. Know that having an open relationship can prompt one of you to lose your emotional connection to the other, or begin an emotional connection with a new partner. So have an open mind and recognize that you may end up losing your partner. While this isn't the rule by any means, it's a risk you should be aware of. Also, you should know that an open relationship may not be permanent. You both need to be ready to forgive the other if one of you decides this isn't an arrangement you're comfortable with.

Try to Solve Your Relationship Problems

Nothing good comes easy, and relationships are not walk in a park. Love is a strange thing, and this is because, in every relationship, we fight, but at the end of all of the day, we remain in the relationship. So before you decide to venture into an open relationship, you should try to solve your own relationship problems. Solving your problems before jumping into an open relationship will ensure that you avoid some of the problems discussed above. If you guys are having difficulties solving your relationship problems, try visiting a specialist before venturing into an open relationship. Having professional advice can sometimes be very helpful in ensuring that your relationship lasts.

Try to Spice Up Your Own Sex Life

People mostly prefer having multiple partners if their sex is boring or if they feel they aren't getting enough sex at home. So as a couple you should consider spicing up your sex life. This suggestion stands even if you have other reasons for the open relationship, or if you are already in one. Try out new positions and scenarios. Suggest something you've been wanting to try for a while, and encourage them to do the same. If the point is to improve your sex life, why not do so on both fronts?

Long Term Effects

Before venturing into an open relationship, you should consider the long term effects this could have on your relationship. We all like to experiment now and again; life is too short to have a normal, routine life. Think about whether or not both of you would be ok if, for some reason, you had to stop it. Is it making your relationship stronger? Will your relationship be able to last? Will it be the only thing holding you together?


Everyone has a different view of an open relationship. Some see it as an essential while some think of it as a virus that needs to be eradicated from the society. However, for those who are having problems being in a monogamous relationship but truly love one another, an open relationship can be extremely beneficial. The important thing is to know what you're getting into.

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