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Over the past year or so, there has been a new word creeping into the erotic scene. Incel. After checking its definition, it made no sense at all. An incel is a man who is involuntarily celibate. Grandma's and gay best friends in romcoms always say "there's a lid for every pot," so if that's true, why can these guys not get laid? The answer was laid bare for me.
Just a quick personal note here, this article was born out of an idea for another one about stealthing. This exchange happened on the Whisper app, so there is no way for me to know the guy's real name. His username on there was Hung Horse, so for the purpose of this essay, that is what he will be called. I posted a whisper that asked if any guy had stealthed a lover before.
The answer that Hung Horse gave was a great insight into how incels actually think. These are not men who are going to charm a lady, most of them are straight and have homophobic tendencies (at least the ones on Reddit do) because they feel like the female population owes them a debt of lust for merely existing. Hung Horse began the conversation by saying that every female he has ever bedded insisted on condoms and that was inappropriate. So one day he started to take it off because he felt like the "slut" he was fucking owed him bareback sex. "I take off the condom because it feels better for me. Anybody lucky enough to have me fucking them needs to let me cum inside of them." That's skeevy, but Hung Horse was not happy to leave it there.
"I don't care if a girl ends up pregnant with my baby, it's her responsibility to be on the pill, not mine to wear a condom. I AM THE MAN." Real winner there.
Though it seems to be a hot topic among the incel community, if they are lucky enough to move out of that category, they believe that they are owed "natural sex" as one Reddit user so lovingly put it. Another said that because he was Catholic, he would never agree to wear a condom. But he would take care of the resulting kid if one happened and he would marry the mom as long as she understood that her place was in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant, and he was a man, so he was going to fuck anyone he wanted.
Most incels, as mentioned above, are extremely homophobic. They think that women and gay men are beneath them, but lesbians are fine as long as they let the men watch. However, there are a few that are willing to have sex with another guy as long as they realize it's "no homo." Nothing says 'I'm not gay' like two men having sex. Hung Horse did admit that he gets turned on by a guy's ass and has masturbated to thinking about being inside of one but has yet to act on those feelings. When asked what he would do if a male partner insisted on a condom, he responded: "I would agree and then slip it off like I do with females. Then I would cum so much in his ass." This led me to believe that Hung Horse was an incel and probably not hung. Just a guess.
How does one become an incel? Probably by espousing misogynistic and homophobic views. There's almost no chance that a woman would want to mess around with someone who isn't going to show them respect, nor would a gay man want to pleasure someone who is using the derogatory "F" word. It is also theorized that most incels probably don't socialize much, so there is little chance of them finding someone who could be attracted to them.
Sure, they might be on dating apps like Tindr and OkCupid, but because they believe they are God's gift, so they are swiping right on females that would not be interested in them, or they are swiping left on everyone. When the attraction is not reciprocated, the blame falls on the new sexual liberation that is happening. To them, the whole #MeToo movement is actually about women taking away power from men being able to get laid. Because sexual harassment is part of being a man apparently.
Welcome to the world of incels. Try not to stay too long. Getting laid might become impossible for you.