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The New Era of Fetishes: Cybersex and Psychology

“Everything is somebody’s fetish."― Tim Pratt

When you hear the phrase "cybersex," you probably think of a creep looking through the dark web to find someone to have sex with virtually. Or you think about those VR goggles from the far future that you’ve seen only in movies. However, that’s not what it means today.

Today, cybersex has become a fetish to many, and it means having sexual intercourse with someone via the internet. There are new technological advances in the sex toy industry that allow us to do this. Or you can simply hook up your webcam and get it on with your partner long distance.

But, the question is: why do we do it and how does it benefit us? 

Types of Cybersex


This category can include practically any sexy stuff done via the Internet or even a smartphone. One of the most common practices, so to say, is sexting. It involves two partners exchanging dirty and flirty messages in order to achieve sexual experience which leads to orgasm.

Another form of cybersex includes sextech. This is mostly pushed into motion by women, because they wanted to achieve better and safer sex, without being worried about their health, pleasure and to eliminate any threats. What sextech also offers is the opportunity and ability to learn about the female body and make her feel comfortable and satisfied.

Last but not least, there is something called teledildonics. This funny term says it all. Teledildonics include various sex toys that can be controlled remotely in order to give pleasure to your partner. They are often operated through apps on phones or via Bluetooth and they are certainly fun.

Of course, cybersex includes many other forms of having long-distance sex. It also includes VR technology where you can have virtual sex with the gals and lads of your choice and many shapes. But, let’s see how all this is affecting us as humans and what are the benefits of cybersex.

The Benefits

Girl with a laptop in aM bed

The first and most obvious benefit is that it’s fun. Unlike when watching porn, you can achieve some intimacy and interaction with your partner, since it does involve masturbating and a real person on the other end.

It is also great if you wish to try out new stuff. Maybe you are afraid or shy to talk to your partner about your fetishes or try them out with them, but with cybersex, such mind blocks can be avoided. For example, many women try live sex chat for the things they are shy about with their partners, because it’s safer, it provides more freedom and eliminates judgments. Plus, it can significantly boost their self-confidence and let them explore their sexual desires in real life later on.

What is more, cybersex gives you much more freedom. On certain websites, like live sex chatting ones, you can search for whoever fits your needs. You can look for men, women, different fetishes, couple’s things and anything else that lights your fire. However, if you don’t want to limit yourself to just one person, there are plenty of sex forums where you can join in and enjoy the games.

The bottom line is that it helps us get free mentally. It allows us to use our imagination to achieve pleasure which leads to boost of confidence in many aspects of life; especially in the bedroom. 

The Bad Stuff

Man typing

Just like with the regular sex, cybersex has its bad sides. The biggest one certainly is the addiction. This mostly happens to women, because they are often shyer than men and cybersex offers so much sexual satisfaction without having to search for real partners, without judgment or any other form of public attention. Since sex itself is addicting, this type of it makes people even more prone to addiction because there are no boundaries and nothing to be ashamed of.

Another important thing to remember is consent. Even though everyone is free when online, some may forget that people still might get mentally harmed if they are forced to do something they don't want to. So, if you’re engaging in cybersex activities, remember to communicate and establish consent. You can even agree upon a safe word, and use it whenever things become too uncomfortable for you. Otherwise, someone might get traumatized, scared or simply emotionally hurt, which is never something good.

Technology is advancing and it is no surprise that we have more sexual opportunities these days. Cybersex is not a taboo anymore, and it can bring many psychological benefits to us. However, still make sure you and your partner are fully comfortable and everyone is bound to have a good time. 

Read next: Sweet Pt. 2
Victoria Lim
Victoria Lim

Victoria is a lifestyle writer with expertise in scribbling a lot of unnecessary words, walking a dog for miles and miles, getting bites from her pet squirrel and choosing tea for her next cup.

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The New Era of Fetishes: Cybersex and Psychology
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