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There are so many women who feel as though masturbating is truly as worthless as it sounds. Insisting that this pleasure is only limited to men and that we're feminine beings. We may never happen to do such things of that nature. Why not happen to take a leap of faith just one time and see where it leads? You'll be astounded to witness your own results.
I've had a sexual blockage that would make me feel as though I was truly one with my body. I felt undesirable from myself. I couldn't feel my body and for the most part, I didn't want to because I was confused with how to work along with my body. My body would tell me who wasn't good for me to be around or to share my body with but I couldn't understand the messages given to me, I didn't want to listen. At the same time, doing all that I was completely insecure inside my mind about why I had to have this body. Especially if I found it unlikely for me to appease myself more than ever.
The sex itself was never something I found to be really suitable for my needs. The sex I would allow myself to partake in wasn't giving me the tingle I had ultimately searched for while creating my sexual fantasies and kinks. I'd spark curiosity in BDSM, candle wax, foot fetishes, gagging, excessive saliva, just things aside from the regular following the exchange of deep intimacy. Yet, because of that, I received partners who thought that had been over the rooftops and revolving themselves around the vanilla-type substance of sex. I happened to agree. I thought why not play-it-safe. But why deal with boring sex? Why deal with sex that doesn't suit you? I wasn't suited.
I decided that masturbation was meant to treat my anxieties regarding sex, my likes, my dislikes, my utter needs to be fulfilled and desires that needed to be raised. I decided that sex with myself would be the alone time I needed, the thought process to heighten as well as the ability to free myself from what had shown me no love.
The sexual energy resists to be seen when you're poor within your creative essence. There's no need for your energy to be out there when you're not transmuting that energy to another part of your artistic life, a part of your life that you genuinely love. Pleasing yourself is a creative outlet.
My sex life was opened for change. My realization was implementing change and it was time for me to take control of what my life was calling me for. I was opened to see what masturbation would ever be able to do for me.
I feel like self-love has to happen before you're able to open your mind to sex with another human-being or just own heightened emotional intelligence, otherwise, you'll get caught up in a situation where the emotions are unclear and the joke happens to be on you. With sex comes depth, with sex comes a tamper with your sanity if you can't handle the heat.
The more you happen to love yourself, the less you would feel the need to settle for shit you don't happen to really want. The more I engage with masturbation, the more I feel easier to connect with my sexual intuition. The more I masturbate the easier it is for me to be able to get in touch with my body. The barriers I happen to break during the process allows me to feel free with every moment because I'm getting most comfortable with myself. The more I keep busy throughout the day and come home, attend to my home duties, the more I'm able to reflect after I've masturbated because not only does it happen to arouse and send me off but it gives my body and mind the ability to seek better judgement and come off extremely level-headed. Thus, giving myself a great amount of time to truly process and breathe.
I've released the blockages of my sexual insecurities. It's time to engage what's better fitting for me.
Thank you so much for reading!
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