The Big Discussion: Reason 3

Sex Toys and Relationships: An Observation and Opinion

This argument isn't one that I have heard *a lot*, but I have heard of it: "If she needs toys to orgasm, then she's unhappy with how I perform, which means she must be cheating on me."

Oh. My. God. If this ain't some dumb shit...

This goes back to arguments 1 & 2, and everything ties into this: i-n-s-e-c-u-r-i-t-y.

Say it with me now: In-se-curity

How did you make this leap in logic, boys? Because I'm making *myself* cum with something other than your dick, I must be cheating?

Let's flip this around: If he's jacking off, it means he's unhappy with how I perform, which means he's cheating on me!

Do you see how dumb that sounds? You sound like us when we see you like that bitch Becky's Instagram selfie after we TOLD you a THOUSAND times we didn't like her and we don't like that you follow her because she was a run-around in high school and we accuse you of sleeping around with her after we see her comment "how cute 😊" on your picture of your new outfit that we bought you.

You sound like the Karen lady who's always asking to speak to the manager.

You sound like the damn five-year-old screaming because they were told no candy before lunch.

Some of you fellows have babies with the girls you're with. You've made plans to put a ring on it. Haven't fucked another woman since you began dating her, and you STILL think she's running around on you because she uses sex toys. Guys, the number one reason us girls use sex toys is simple.

We use them to get off. Shocker, I know.

It wouldn't matter if you gave us three orgasms every time. Toy orgasms are not the same as dick orgasms. We can give ourselves leg shaking ones, body contorting ones, ones that leave us with aftershock shakes for an hour after, and your dicks just cannot do that, guys. It's not your fault; again, you cannot compete with battery power when it comes to this.

This is one of the reasons relationships start crumbling. This is why some girls resort to hiding their sex toys because they don't want to be shamed by you. They don't want to get into a fight with you, and they actually start being miserable.

It's not because of the lack of toys in their lives, though. It's because the love of their life doesn't trust them. It's because they're tired of the fighting and accusations; the same shit YOU GUYS are tired of when you have a girl with an overactive imagination. It's because guys have this tendency (at least where I live) to think that girls don't exist or live before they meet each other; in other words, guys get quietly furious when their girl makes any mention of previous relationships, parties they've gone to, anything they've done with drugs or alcohol, or simple crazy fun times with friends previously before meeting boyfriend.

This misery carries into other aspects of the relationship, too. Nitpicking starts and that means constant arguing and fighting and petty shit. Things you both are too grown for, but you're going to do it because it will get under your partner's skin.

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