The Allure of Public Sex

“I want to fuck you in Central Park!” So read one message that I received on Whisper, the app that is supposed to be anonymous but has turned into another place for people to hook up. The gentleman (using that word lightly here) didn’t even say hello, that was his first message. Two things that will be unpacked in future essays, first who starts off talking like that and does it usually work? Second, the guy claimed to be straight but knew an awful lot about gay sex. Most importantly though, it got me to wondering about why people are so turned on by sex in public.

One night I was heading to the bar to meet a couple of friends. The subway train was fairly empty except for a straight couple across from me, and a homeless man who was sleeping. The couple was making out and the man was grabbing the boob of his significant other. Nothing too racy about that. Then she unzipped his pants and started giving him head. He and I made eye contact before he leaned back, spread his legs and let her go to town on him. Alcohol must have played a factor in them deciding to put on a sex show on the subway. However, alcohol doesn’t make you want to do something, only lowers the inhibitions stopping you from doing it. Why would they want to have sex in such a visible place?

Maybe they wanted people to watch. It seems to be the conclusion that makes the most sense, especially since the man and I locked eyes. There is the thought that if you want people to watch your sexual escapades then you should be a porn star. Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton have taught us that being attractive isn’t necessary to be filmed having sex. This goes deeper than that.

“Film lasts forever, but the applause you get for live theatre only lasts that one night,” my screenwriting professor once said. That seems to be true of couples or lovers that get it on in public. It’s not enough for them to orgasm, they want others to be turned on and orgasm with them. It could almost be considered charity, if it weren’t illegal.

Legality doesn’t matter if the couple doesn’t want people to watch but have to fuck in public because they have nowhere else to go. I was told this by a friend. My friend, ee’ll call him Jay, got drunk one night and ran into this hot guy. After a few lewd gestures (apparently the hot guy didn’t speak a lick of English), Jay and the guy went into the park. Like me, Jay has a rule to never bring hook ups to his house and the hot guy didn’t seem like he wanted to take Jay to his place. After sucking the hot guy’s dick, Jay started to jerk him off. They ended up having penetrative sex, which in Jay’s words was the best he’s ever had. Was it because he was with a stranger or the fear of being caught? He swears up and down that it was both.

The fear of being caught, is why some people hate public sex. I had an ex, who was in college while we dated. He lived and worked on campus. While he had his own room, guests were limited. One date night (it was actually the entire day but go with it) I was like, "I want you right now." We snuck into a building where we knew nobody would be and started fooling around. We didn’t quite get to climax because he was shaking so hard and afraid of being caught that we just stopped and got in his car. He got road head and I got a bouquet of flowers, so that’s something right?

So what exactly is the allure of public sex? It seems cheap to ascertain that it depends on the couple and what their needs are. Especially even when there are other options, they choose to perform their acts of desire in places where they can be seen. It seems that being watched is the main drive for public acts of sexuality.