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Jean was standing around the corner from the coffee shop, just out of sight. The cold from the brick wall she was leaning against had begun to creep through her brown woolen coat. She had been standing here for at least twenty minutes. The events of yesterday still swirled in her head. She wasn’t sure what to do, so there she stood.
With a heavy sigh she decided she had to at least go talk to Cait and try to explain how this could never work out between them and that she was sorry for leading her on.
She finally got up the nerve to peak around the corner. Cait usually was out front on a smoke break at this time of day. But she wasn’t there this time… Great. That just made things more difficult. Jean didn’t want to go inside and have to talk to Cait in front of her coworkers and other customers. But coffee… that would be nice. The cold coming up from the pavement was even working its way through her cinnamon colored patent leather boots causing her to alternate which foot was off the ground, but it wasn’t working any longer.
Jean finally pulled herself away from the cold bricks and went around the corner from where she was hiding, tentatively making her way towards the shop. She was extremely nervous. Each breath of crisp autumn air was shaky, and she wasn’t sure if the shivering was from the cold or her nerves. This whole situation was her own fault, she told herself. She put her hands in her jacket as she walked, head down against the gusty wind. She tucked a few errant strands of long chestnut hair behind her ear, lost in thought over what she was planning to say to Cait.
As she neared the shop, a gust of wind blew the scent of burning cloves and tobacco right into her face. She looked up quickly and found Cait standing right in front of her, looking right at her.
She stopped and just stared back at her for several moments. Jean couldn’t help but notice how pretty Cait looked as she took another long drag from the slender, black cigarette between her fingers. Her scant curves were purposefully accentuated by a thin grey cotton dress, belted at the waist with a strip of turquoise suede and bright multicolored leggings. She was out of place on this cold autumn day. She was a bright and loud splash of cool summer water, from the neon plastic bangles she wore, to her bluest hair.
She could not think of one word she had planned to say as she watched Cait put the cigarette to her full, pink-glossed lips. All of her carefully constructed excuses and reasonings were gone, replaced by a blur of heady memories of last night.
“Hey Jeanie,” Cait said quietly as she pressed her lips together and blew out a cloud of clove scented smoke and then stared at Jean. Cait’s large green eyes were watching her carefully, her lips slightly parted, revealing the small gap between her teeth… It hurt to look at her.
Jean directed her eyes away from Cait, down toward the still wet concrete and the beads of rain water than gleamed like jewels on the toes of her own boots. She let her gaze linger there for a long moment--too long, but she knew that if she looked back at Cait, she would never be able to say what she needed to say.
“I’m sorry…” Jean finally managed.
Cait was quick to answer.
“You already said that last night. It’s fine.”
Jean was surprised by her answer, she didn’t sound angry or upset. If anything she sounded bored. Jean looked back up and Cait was a step closer now. The cold wind blew more smoke in Jean’s direction. It smelled nice… It made her want to taste the cloves…
Jean could feel her pulse quicken as she lost control of her thoughts again. She swallowed hard. She had to say more. Now. Put a stop to this whole thing before it got out of hand.
Jean looked back down as she spoke. She could hear Cait stepping closer and it made it hard to speak. “Cait, listen… About yesterday… I don’t think—”
“Jeanie,” Cait interrupted her, as she tossed her half-smoked cigarette to the ground where it rolled along in the wind, scattering tiny golden sparks as it went. She took another step closer. Jean could see her black and white, canvas high tops just inches away from the toes of her boots.
Jean looked up quickly, shocked at Cait’s request, she could feel her freckled cheeks begin to redden and burn. She hated how hard she could blush. Cait was so close now. Jean had to act, had to refuse.
“Jeanie,” Cait said, softly this time. “Kiss me.”
Jean could feel her bottom lip begin to quiver. She felt scared. She could feel her resolve begin to crack as Cait put her warm finger tips on her cheek. Jean realized how cold she was and the warmth felt nice. As her resolve shattered into pieces, she tasted the hint of mangoes again. And cloves… And warm lips. She was kissing Cait again. On the street. In public.
Jean stopped shivering when Cait’s arms wrapped around her, under her jacket and up her back. She was almost totally lost in the kiss. Jean wanted more this time. Her tongue wanted more of Cait, to taste, to explore, to slide across that maddening gap in her teeth.
She wasn’t sure when or how it happened but they were now up against the coffee shop brick wall. Cait was pressing against Jean as they kissed. Cait’s smaller breasts were pushing up against Jean’s fuller ones. She could tell that Cait was cold as well. Her nipples, small and hard like diamonds were easy to feel through her thin dress.
As the kiss continued, Jean completely gave in to it. One more kiss wouldn’t change things she told herself. She could feel Cait’s hands on her lower back now, but Jean wanted them somewhere else… She took one of Cait’s hands and moved it to her belly. Her fingers were cold and it gave Jean goosebumps. But Cait knew what Jean was asking for and she slid her hand up along Jeans belly, along her ribs and to the same tit as yesterday. Jean wasn’t sure why she decided it was a good idea to go braless today. Too many layers were uncomfortable, no one could tell under her sweater and coat…
Jean let out a tiny whimper into Cait’s mouth when she began to play with her nipple. Cait’s hands were small compared to Jean’s breasts. She couldn’t get all of her fingers around it. She tried though, which felt good and hurt at the same time. For someone so petite, she was aggressive.
Jean could feel things were escalating quickly, right here on the sidewalk. She could feel people watching them. They were probably staring out the coffee shop windows, turning around to gawk at them as they passed on the street. She could feel herself begin to panic. She could also feel something else, Cait’s knee. It had deftly found its way between her thighs, and under her tartan wool skirt. Cait knew what she was doing. The pressure from her knee through Jean’s thin leggings and panties was just right.
Jean took a sharp breath of cold air in through her nose, her eyebrows scrunched together. It felt good, she pushed back against her knee. She couldn’t help herself.
But as suddenly as it started, Cait pulled away. A shrill beeping was coming from her phone.
“Jeanie, I gotta go back to work.” Her lips were red from kissing, and there was a little smirk on her face as she backed away toward the coffee shop doors.
Jean was again at a loss for words. She came here to stop this sort of thing from happening and yet she just willfully participated in it.
“It’s okay Cait… Better get back in there…” Jean’s gaze dropped to her boots again, plunging her hands into her coat pockets. With Cait’s warmth so suddenly withdrawn, she was freezing.
Jean looked up, surprised by the invitation.
“Caramel latte, right?” Cait held the café door open. She was waiting for Jean.
She should go home, never come here again… End it all, here and now. That’s what she should do. If she went in she would have to face all the people that just watched them make out, and she would just be leading Cait on even more.
“Of course!” Jean smiled and walked towards Cait, butterflies in her belly.
The coffee shop was filled with people getting their morning coffee, looking at their laptops, faces buried in their phones. And not one single person even looked up when Jean and Cait walked in, No awkward stares. No looks of judgment.
Cait grabbed an apron from a coat hook by the door and rushed off behind the bar without saying another word. Jean decided to take a seat in the corner near a window where the sunlight was shining in. She was still shivering.
Jean watched Cait as she worked. The line was long and Jean couldn’t help but think that they were backed up because Cait’s smoke break might have lasted longer than it was supposed to. Jean was still busy watching her foam milk and measure out shots of steaming espresso as a young guy in an apron walked up to her table and set a tall paper cup of swirling caramel, coffee and cream atop a napkin on her table. He didn’t say anything before he rushed away.
It was the latte Cait made for her, but she didn’t bring it herself… Why not, she wondered. Cait always brought her coffee. She did write her name on the side though. And something else... Jean held it up to read in the morning light.
“My apt 2nite @8”
Jean’s eyes widened and she looked for Cait behind the bar. But she wasn’t out front any longer. Jean already knew that she wouldn’t be able to resist meeting her tonight. She took a long sip of her latte as thoughts swirled through her head.
“Hmm… Tastes like… cloves.” Jean muttered softly, and smiled to herself as she ran her tongue across her lips.