Slutshaming

Why the hell are we still doing this?

There is something which I've never quite understood, and actually I still do not get. Slut-shaming. We are living in 2017 now - almost 2018 - and the word 'slut' can not be used enough. For the people who are not familiar with this word; Slut is used as a 'curse word' for a woman who  are seen as sexually licentious. Synonyms are tramp, whore, floozy, harlot, hooker, hussy, and sometimes prostitute. Although that last word refers to professional sex workers. A slut does not get paid to share a bed with someone.

First of all, when are you officially 'sexually licentious'? When you hug a lot with boys, kiss or fuck? And what is a lot? What for some is a collection worth of five years, is for others a weekly thing.

Some people only dare to be intimate with someone after a relationship of two years, the other person is not even interested in getting to know the person he or she shares the bed with. But is there a good and a bad? Only because some people have more trouble with literally exposing yourself to others, does not automatically mean they are 'boring'. Same as it does not mean you are a slut if you are expose yourself easier to others. Or in better words, sexually licentious. 

Everyone has an other opinion about sex, a subject which is even in 2017 still often seen as a taboo. While it is nothing to be ashamed of. As we all know, it can even be the beginning of something beautiful. Well that is, if you like kids.

Sexual intercourse, coitus, copulation or bee sleeping (I had never heard of myself) is the insertion of the penis into an erection in the vagina. Sexual intercourse and masturbation are the two most common sexual activities among people. Copulation pairs are mentioned in other animals. Sexual intercourse is the first step of reproduction. We would not be the first step of reproduction, without sex. So there is no need to talk about that badly. 

There are people that only make love, because they have the desire to have children. But some people just have sex because, well, they want to. They are excited about it. Again, no good or bad. Some people start at the age of twelve, other people wait till they are married. There are many different ways to look at sex, and unfortunately that is done far too little. Because if we did this a little more, then there is a chance that people may realize that some people share exactly the same opinion as you, and that there are people who do it completely different. 

My friends and I can talk about this subject for hours. My mom thinks it is weird. She is not used to it. There are many years passed, and in my opinion we can be a lot opener about it. Maybe this way we quit the idea that one is too easy, and the other is too boring.

And mainly, the slut-shaming. Because  what I still can not understand is the fact that someone has ever made up that it is apparently 'tougher' for boys to have a lot of sex, but not with a girl. If a girl does it, she is a slut. How fucked up is this thought? Someone once told me that boys like to 'hunt'. Making effort for a girl. When a girl also wants sex, you have to do less effort of course. So maybe this is less interesting. Well, I get that that has something to do with it, but that still is not a valued reason to call girls such names. Because last time I checked, you need two people to have sex. At least.

Boys have needs, girls do too. Sometimes people forget that. Unfortunately we still live in an era where girls should pay attention to what they wear, so they can not distract the boys. Well, I've got some news for you. We have needs, we can make finals when your muscles come out under your tank tops. Maybe it is time to realize that boys really do have a lot of things in common with girls. To understand that girls are also people who sometimes - yes really - the same things want as you do.

Sex and love does not always have to go together. Of course, it is better, nicer and more romantic when you have deep feelings for the one you are making love to. But the love does not have to be there to have sex. When you want something, and it feels right to you, you should follow that feeling. Without people talking shit about you.

You can even have a varying appointment for it. Because they are many. For real? Yes really. Here it comes.

ass noun, american impolite sexual activity, the birds and the bees the facts about sex, when they are explained to children for the first time, sexual intercourse, intercourse, lovemaking, making love, sex act, sexual relations, sexual/vaginal/anal penetration; mating; informal nooky; informal bonking, rumpy pumpy, a bit of the other, how's your father; informal pata-pata; vulgar slang screwing, fucking; vulgar slang shagging; formal coitus, coition, copulation; archaic fornication, carnal knowledge, congress, commerce, "a group of teenage boys sat around the table talking about sex",the facts of life, sexual reproduction, reproduction; informal the birds and the bees, "you can learn how to teach your children about sex",have sexual intercourse (with), make love (to), sleep with/together, go to bed with/together; mate (with); seduce, rape, ravish; informal do it, do the business, go all the way, make whoopee, have one's way with, bed, know in the biblical sense, tumble; informal bonk, get one's oats; informal boff, get it on (with); euphemistic be intimate (with); vulgar slang fuck, screw, bang, lay, get one's leg over, shaft, dick, frig, do, have, hump, poke, dip one's wick, ride, service, tup; vulgar slang have it away (with), have it off (with), shag, knob, get one's end away, knock someone off, give someone one, roger, grind, stuff; vulgar slang podger; vulgar slang ball, jump, jump someone's bones, bone, pork, diddle, nail; vulgar slang root; formal copulate (with); archaic fornicate (with), possess, lie with/together, couple (with), swive, kn.

But whichever of the many synonyms you choose, if you are happy with it, it should not be anyone else's business. Do not let anyone tell you that you are in the wrong, and that it all should be different. Break the taboo and talk about the birds and bees all day. You might learn something. And do not forget, it is your life, and the people who've got something to say about that, may just miss a good shag. Not your fault, right?

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Slutshaming