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Shower Sex Is A LIE—Opinion

Don't be afraid to try new things though...

By Kathryn C. Published 6 years ago 3 min read
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Younger readers- Go away. 18+ Only.

How many of us have seen a really steamy (pun intended) shower sex scene on TV and thought "Oh ya that is totally on my bucket list." Well, the reality is way less "amazing," let me tell you. Now I am not a sex expert, but I have a very nice sex life with my husband. We like to try out new things together all the time and we have tried the shower scene sex more than once because I am a hopeless romantic. I want my husband to pick me up, while water is rushing around us, hold me against the shower wall and... well you know. I highly recommend trying lots of different sex things in your own relationship because it can be really great. Don't be shy to ask what each other's fantasies are. You don't have to agree to anything you don't want to do, but how will you know you don't like something if you never try it? Go ahead. Try out different things…just not in the shower. Here is why:

1. You both have different preferences in water temperature. He may like it hot, you may like it a little on the cooler side. If either one of you is not digging the water temp you are not going to stay in the mood.

2. The water rather than giving you a slippery effect actually dries things out. Lemme just say "ouch."

3. Height differences can make this a very dangerous dance. If you are like us, the lady has to find a way to get tall enough to climb on. Unless you are thin and good at climbing…but I don't like feeling like I'm going to fall in the shower/tub. It's scary! I don't want to crack my head open and die, and be seen naked by everyone investigating my death!

4. Bending over to make it work. Oh ya this is really romantic dear uh-huh. The whole point of this was so I could actually look at you and slather you in suds and be held against the wall and oh ya that leads to:

5. EWWWW. Do you clean your shower walls with bleach every day? Probably not. Therefore, even touching the shower walls is disgusting and totally a mood killer.

6. Have any of you ever felt like you were drowning while trying to "do it" in the shower? Water in my face the whole time isn't my favorite.

7. You kinda give up and just end up helping each other shower then there is twice the water everywhere in the bathroom—this is a stretch for some of you I know, but it's a pet peeve of mine.

8. The coldness from getting out of the shower makes you have to start the process over again.

9. At least he likes you naked right? But if you look in the mirror you might get self-shame and it's no bueno.

10. Finally, you settle for sweats and Netflix and try again later.

Some of you may have had really pleasurable times in the shower with your person, but I am really not a fan. Not to mention my hubby and I don't even have kids, so for those of you who do, I bet this is world's harder! SO all I am saying is don't be fooled by Hollywood guys. Sex is great, sex is awesome, but some of the stuff these writers come up with is completely impractical to try with your person. Let me know on Twitter and Facebook your thoughts! Until next time! Bye!

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About the Creator

Kathryn C.

Blossoming Sex Educator, Relationship Coach, and Family Advocate. I believe in healthy relationships and happy sex-lives.

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