Sexiest Halloween Costumes

How to dress to absolutely guarantee you’re going to get laid this fright night.

Queen of the Damned

Halloween is my favourite time of year. Maybe it’s because I’m a die hard goth and I dress like I’m going to a funeral all year round, or maybe it’s because it’s acceptable to decorate your house with skulls and grave stones for this one special day. When I was a kid my street was the perfect middle class, central London trick or treaters heaven. Huge Victorian houses with a pumpkin at every door. One year my brothers and our friends dressed as Slipknot, there was a huge argument over who got to be Joey Jordison and ultimately ended with my mother saying "you can ALL be Joey.” She didn’t understand. 

I actually continued trick or treating until I was around 17, then it got a bit weird and I realised I wasn’t a cute kid with a sheet over my head anymore, and that knocking on doors in a zombie cheerleader outfit at almost 18, was more like the start to a Halloween themed porno then legitimate trick or treating.

With that in mind, every girl knows the pressure of the perfect Halloween costume. You need to maintain a supreme level of ‘fuckability’ whilst keeping with the Halloween spirit. There also needs to be a level of creativity, the packet bought costumes never look like they do on the photoshopped and well lit models emblazoned across the packaging, and a witches hat you bought from the pound/dollar store, teamed with your everyday clothes is NOT an acceptable Halloween effort. Although I have to admit, last year I was booked to DJ a Halloween event in London and left the house, after 3 hours of painting my own face as a very detailed and accurate skull, coupled with a zombie nurse uniform, and on the cab ride to the event, decided to change into a black dress and trainers.

If you’re stuck for this years upcoming ghoulfest, here are some of the sexiest Halloween costumes for all your spooky needs.

CAT

Here kitty, kitty...

Probably the most obvious, a little bit lazy, but always sexy. Pretty much every large super store will have cat ears of some variety. Team your new ears with fishnet tights and a black, long sleeved leotard, a cute collar (either from an actual pet store or your local Claires accessories/forever 21) and some black heels or, if you prefer flats, maybe some Doc Marten boots.

To finish your sexy/spooky kitty look. grab some black eyeliner (liquid or pencil) or a cheap black face paint, draw yourself some whiskers and a little nose and voila! I’ve actually never been a cat for Halloween, but I’ve seen plenty of girls do this look and pull it off. This is for those of you that really just want to look sexy and cute above all else. I prefer to look a little more fucked up, since it is deemed acceptable to do so on October 31st.

CATWOMAN

Michelle Pfeiffer as Cat Woman

Following on with the cat theme, Catwoman is a more sophisticated and more adult version of the cute pussycat I previously described. You wouldn’t look out of place at Torture Garden in the all black tight leather/latex/PVC outfit with matching full face mask and possible whip? When I was 18, I modelled for the poster of a London fetish club. They dressed me in a PVC Catwoman outfit. I asked them if I could keep the outfit instead of being paid. 

There is something about skintight, all in one, black outfits that just ooze sex. Catwoman is the bad bitches Halloween costume. If you are cute and giggly, wear the cat outfit, if you are a sex hungry bad girl, you’re Catwoman.

HARLEY QUINN 

Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn

If we are are going to go down the comic book route then OBVIOUSLY I can’t leave out Harley. With all the hype surrounding Suicide Squad, Harley and her “Daddys lil monster" shirt were the most worn Halloween costume in 2015. Undeniably sexual, but also that perfect balance of terrifying: psycho but cute but psycho. Harley is one of my favourite characters in any format, ever. I have already written an in-depth piece on why I and other women relate to this mess of a female in hot pants and ripped fishnets, and what better time to let out your inner psycho in public, then Halloween. 

If you already have blonde hair, you’re half way there. 'Bleach London' sell over the counter products in most pharmacies (also in America) that include wash out coloured chalk for colouring in your hair. It actually works, when I was blonde last year I coloured my hair pink and green and then washed it out the next day. 

Harley requires two blonde pigtails, one dipped in red and one in blue, your token 'Daddys lil Monster’ shirt, hot pants, a studded belt, ripped fishnet tights, nice flat boots (perfect if you are going partying all night) and some smudged make up (perfect if you have no idea how to do make up, like me)

POISON IVY

Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy

Ok, Ok I’ve put the whole gang in here. ‘The Gotham Sirens’ are the girl gang consisting of Ivy, Harley and Catwoman. I love female villains, and there are none sexier then these three, and they are all completely different! The goth, the blonde and the red head! Something for everyone. Poison Ivy is kind of like if Jessica Rabbit was evil, sexier and wore green make up. She might be my favourite of the three, although I’ve never had hair red enough to justify dressing up as this poisonous sex queen.

This requires you to already have red hair, or an amazing wig, a lot of green make up and glitter, tight green clothes (preferably spandex and all in one) and some Ivy… not real Ivy, as it is genuinely poisonous and makes most people come out in a rash. Most cheap pound/dollar stores have a plethora of faux flowers and plants, Ivy is usually amongst them. Be creative, chop them up, stitch them on to things, clip them into your hair. Go wild.

VAMPIRE 

Fangs for the memories...

Bit of a Halloween cliche, but as a die hard goth, Vampire is always on my list. Largely because it doesn’t really require that much dressing up. However! The vampire dream costume, and the sexiest of all, is Aaliyahs portrayal of the Vampire queen in "Queen of the Damned”. Red contact lenses and a gold head dress, along with… not much else… Twilight should be ashamed of their portrayal of Vampires, next to this masterpiece.

That being said, if you want to opt for the simpler Vampire outfit, take a leaf out of my 'lazy girls Halloween’ tip book. I can pretty much just wear my own clothes with fake blood in the corners of my mouth and a shade whiter foundation. So if you’re like me and your wardrobe consists of all black everything, you’re already 80% there. 

Every year, I attempt to buy the glue on fangs that are supposed to stick to your front teeth and appear as real fangs. They don’t work. I’ve even had them put on for a music video. Still didn’t work. The other option is the gross plastic fangs that look like a retainer and fill with spit, you can’t talk whilst wearing them and you look, quite frankly, like an idiot. So I would usually wear a tight black dress and stockings, white foundation, very dark, smokey, black and purple eye make up and red lips, top this off with fake blood running from the corners of your mouth, and there you have it! A sexy vampire! Add cape if you so wish.

KILL BILL - ‘The Bride'

Uma Thurman 'The Bride'

I asked my boyfriend what he thought were the sexiest Halloween costumes and he responded with this (and Catwoman) even though he wanted to make it very clear he didn’t find Uma Thurman attractive, this costume was high on his list. There must just be something about those tight leather outfits! The black and yellow biker outfit complete with samurai sword is both bad ass and ridiculously sexy. I’m a sucker for bad girls and they don’t come much badder then ‘The Bride’. Side note: I once bought a packet version of this halloween costume and it looked more like a luminous yellow pair of hospital scrubs… So try to be more creative and DIY.

MAGENTA and COLUMBIA

Magenta, Frank N. Furter, Columbia.

To finalise, this is probably my favourite on the list and best done in a pair. So, if you are going to a Halloween event with a girlfriend, this duo is all kinds of sassy, sexy and scary. Magenta and Columbia are ‘the help,’ as it were, from 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show', one of my all time favourite films, shows and soundtracks etc.

If you have never seen this movie, go watch it RIGHT NOW! It is essentially a musical/horror movie/sexual adventure from outer space about a Transvestite, originally and most famously played by Tim Curry (his best role, in my opinion) who lives in a castle in ‘Transexual Transylvania’ as he puts it. Brad and Janet are a young, innocent and uptight couple that happen to come across the castle after their car breaks down in the middle of the night. They are greeted by all manner of strangeness and scariness as well as sexual awakenings in every single possible way you can imagine. Since I was a kid, and long before I understood the twisted, sexually charged nature of the show, I wanted to play Magenta. The dark haired maid, with heavy make up and a sultry look. I then decided I wanted to be Columbia, whose role in the castle I am always unsure of, but she essentially wears sequin hot pants and tap dances and is in love with ‘Eddie’ played by Meatloaf. 

They all sing and dance and wear outfits to die for (in some cases, literally die) To me this is the sexiest of all Halloween costumes. This movie offers endless characters to portray but these two tap dancing, sequin wearing, glam help, just happen to be my favourites...

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