Sex shouldn't be so hard to get right, but it is. There's a lot of divide between what women want and what men think they want. That divide causes a lot of ladies to remain unsatisfied in bed, even if they try to gently guide guys into it.
A major problem a lot of women have is speaking up and making their needs met. This often leads to guys doing things that actually don't feel very good, thinking they are going to be good in bed. This in turn leads to the vicious cycle continuing.
Here are some the best sex tips for men from women who wish they could say them out loud - or, rather, how to have sex like a real champion in the sack.
"Don't underestimate how good a regular lay can be."
This is a personal pet peeve of most women out there. Most of the sex tips for men published in men's magazines talk about insane sex acrobatics that just don't even make much sense. We don't want that!
Most women aren't looking for sexual gymnasts 24/7. While it's always awesome to have a guy who can do crazy bedroom acrobatics, you can still satisfy her and bring her to orgasm with a standard sex position. Here's how to get down to the basics...
"Missionary works - it's not lame."
Missionary gets a lot of flak for being boring, Puritanical, and somewhat played out. But, it's really not that bad a position. In many cases, it hits the girl's spots just right. In fact, it's a great position for people who are just learning the ropes of sex because it's comfortable for both men and women.
What really makes missionary so good is that it allow you to experience all five senses of your partner. You get to see their face, hear them moan, smell their breath on you, taste their kisses, and of course, feel them. As a result, it's also really emotionally satisfying for many people, too.
In a lot of cases, Missionary tends to also just feel like a more natural progression. If you were warming your partner up with oral sex, chances are that her legs are already open and that she's trying to wrap her legs around your hips. So, it can be an easy transition from oral sex to sex - assuming she's on birth control.
"Don't just ram it in!"
Too often, guys assume that women just want to have a penis rammed into them - no foreplay, no teasing involved. In fact, most of the sex tips for men given by other men involve slamming it in or just "pounding away."
This isn't true. Foreplay is a must, and the longer you take with it, the better (and wetter) she'll get.
Slamming it in just kind of robs women of the chance to really savor the teasing. Go in gently, and take your time fully penetrating her. The real moment of penetration should be done slowly, to ensure that you don't hurt her cervix, and to give her a moment to actually put her body into it.
"Let her take charge of the tempo."
Sometimes, guys get too excited and end up slamming it into a girl way too fast and hard. This can make girls who are smaller down there start screaming out of pain - not pleasure. Other times, guys go too slow, and it can end up making a girl feel more frustrated than anything else. That isn't very good either.
Most women know how fast they want to go, so take note of how quickly she's thrusting. She will buck her hips on it to get more in on her own time in most cases. Work to match her pace with your own, and she'll be screaming in pleasure.
Women are active in bed, too. It's not just men who can put in work.
"It's not just in and out. There are angles in there."
The vagina isn't just a tube with a single nerve you need to hit. There's the cervix, the G-spot, as well as a number of other places where you can hit with amazing results. Moreover, women have clitorises - and they tend to be the real source of the majority of female orgasms.
Believe it or not, one of the easiest ways to get some clitoral stimulation action going on is to lie down on top of her and use your weight to stimulate that part of her body. Most guys just get on their knees and do the old "in and out" because they are worried about "squishing her."
What's weird about this one is that men I've talked to legit believe women hate this because "women" online told them so. Though the myth of men squishing women is still around on forums claiming to have sex tips for men from women who sleep with them, the fact is that it's disappearing these days.
One girl said, "I like it when a guy actually leans in and lies on me. The weight feels amazing."
"Massage her G-spot. It'll make her squirt!"
If you want women to have a squirting orgasm, start with foreplay. Lube her up, then take your hand, palm up, and insert two fingers into her vagina. Her G-spot is on the upper wall of her vagina, around two inches in. Start to rub her spot, and make a "come hither" gesture.
You'll start to notice that her vaginal wall will get swollen, and that she'll begin to get increasingly loud with her moans. Ramp up the speed and intensity of the gesture, and start massaging her clitoris gently. She'll eventually squirt - and that will be one of the most intense orgasms of her life.
If you're a man who's been reading about the G-spot and wondered whether this sex tip is legit, it is. This is one of the few sex tips for men from women that actually is 100 percent real, and awesome.
"It is possible to be too polite in bed. It's okay to be a bit primal and passionate."
One of the problems that a lot of people seem to have in bed is that they're trying to prove that they're masculine or feminine - rather than actually just enjoying all the senses that are igniting during the sexual experience.
Stop worrying about machismo, enjoy the tender side of things and have some foreplay. Stop worrying about how big or small your penis size is, and start just having fun. There's no real sexual model that people should be following in bed. It's not about masculine versus feminine in bed. What works for you, works.
That being said, there's a lot of bad advice out there that says that men have to be super gentle or super rough in order to please women. Women don't want to be treated like they're made of glass. If you are too polite and passive, women will see that as disingenuine or disinterested.
Humans are animals at heart - bring out your wild side.
"Don't ask awkward questions after sex, during sex, or shortly before sex."
Unlike other sex tips for men you'll read, this one is more about the psychology of sex than anything else. Yes, guys can ruin a lady's mojo by getting all insecure mid-sex, and yes, it happens more commonly than you'd think.
Surprisingly, a lot of people - both male and female - have a tendency to have their minds wander or get onto awkward topics around the time they're about to get lucky. Questions like "Do you really love me?" will likely kill the mood.
"Guide us, but don't force us."
Most women are thankful when they get a little bit of guidance from guys on what they enjoy. That being said, a lot of women have met guys who just didn't get it when women were trying to politely avoid doing certain things - or when their partners straight up didn't want to do it.
Things like pushing her head down on your penis won't make her happy. Whining or pouting if she doesn't do something you like also will likely make her reconsider sleeping with you again. Moreover, doing this also can be considered sexual assault or rape.
As one girl said, "Guys might think that wheedling their way into bed is awesome, but it's not. It's really disrespectful and makes us think way less of them. Eventually, guys who do this get a bad reputation, and tht makes then end up alone."
"If you do want to get kinky, talk about it with your partner first."
Nothing says "serial killer" to a woman like being surprised by a date who ties her up without permission. A main aspect of BDSM play is discussion and consent. Springing it on her is not a wise decision. Actually, it'll make her run for the hills.
That being said, most women admitted that they were open to kink - and several also said that they hoped guys would broach the subject with them.
"Above all, be enthusiastic."
In order for a woman to climax, she must feel good about herself in bed. She wants to feel beautiful. And, if you're enthusiastic and passionate with her, that's exactly what she'll feel. Even if you're not the most skilled guy in the world, passion can set you apart from the rest.
It doesn't matter if you're reading sex tips for men, women, or nonbinary people. Passion and enthusiasm will always be sexy, and that will remain true no matter what you do.