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Restraint can play quite a large role in some BDSM scenes. It has the power to be used to achieve different effects, it can be used to:
• Show dominance—the dominant can use restraint as a way of showing that they are in charge.
• Surrender control—by allowing themselves to be restrained, a submissive can surrender all control and show trust in their dominant.
• Deprivation—restraint will prevent the submissive from moving, therefore depriving them of being able to touch their dominant (or themselves). This gives the dominant control over touching and play, enabling them to bring the submissive close to orgasm then depriving them from orgasm.
• Create desire—the more you can’t have something, the more you want it, this is common with restraint.
• Show/create obedience—present in collared scenarios, amongst others, if the submissive is obedient during restraint then they may be rewarded. If they are not obedient, they will be punished.
• Heighten senses—as the submissive will have no control over where the dominant touches their senses will be heightened, especially if wearing a blindfold.
• Humiliation—used during humiliation scenes to display control, possibly to make somebody watch another activity without being able to leave/move/join in.
• Torture—restraint during torture prevents the submissive from moving too much. Torture can be seen in two ways, sensory torture i.e. tickling or orgasm deprivation, or torture involving pain.
As well as the multiple reasons why you might want to involve restraint during play, there are also many types of restraint which can be used, some will be better for different things than others, and you may choose a way of restraint specifically for a desired effect.
This involves the dominant using hands or their body weight to restrain a submissive. This can be integrated into any sex session. Include holding hands down on the bed or above head, one arm behind back, both arms behind back, legs in the air, and physically lying or sitting on the submissive. It can also include hair puling (which is amazing btw), and strangulation. You must be careful with strangulation and breath play I will cover this in another post.
Handcuffs can be used to restrain hands together, either in front or behind, can be used to cuff submissive to the bed or elsewhere, can also be use in police based role-play. There are different types of handcuffs everything from soft ones to police special issue and everything in-between. You do have to take care when using the hard type hand cuffs, if you are too rough, or the cuffs are too tight and moved in the wrong way you can cause injury.
Generally, in the form of soft cuffs, these go under the mattress to allow the submissive to have all four limbs restrained and essentially tied down to the bed, severely restricting movement. This is a good form of restraint to use for teasing your partner/submissive, sensory play and orgasm deprivation.
Rope play is an art form in its self, can be time-consuming and very intricate, or can be simple, i.e. just the wrists and/or ankles tied simply. It is important to note safety when playing with rope, lots of practice is required first. Never leave a rope restrained person unattended and always have a decent pair of scissors to hand as an emergency way of releasing. Rope can also be used to suspend someone, however this is not advised unless you have had proper training, as it can be very dangerous. Rope is something I am not yet an expert in. If I get time in the future I would like to learn properly. If I get chance I will do some more proper posts on it.
Both create good make shift soft wrist restraints, other materials found at home can also be used.
Cheap, easy to use, can be used as handcuffs, however they can be a little harsh and will be painful if the submissive struggles.
A long, (usually) metal bar with a cuff either end for ankles, this prevents the submissive from closing their legs. Sometime spreader bars also have two additional cuffs in the middle to also tie the hands to if desired.
Collar and Leash
Used to display obedience and sometime humiliation, where the submissive wears a physical collar and lead and is “walked” by their dominant.
Made of a plastic-type self-adhesive, but non-sticky material. It sticks to itself to secure. It is flexible and durable, also reusable and comes in many colours and is also inexpensive. Bondage tape can be used for restraint anywhere on the body and can also be used for dressing up. Much more suitable for play than traditional sticky tape, as there is no risk of pulling hairs and it is also much more aesthetically pleasing.
I’m sure there are also more types of restraint out there, and I will update this when they pop into my head.
Have fun all, but please be safe about it, all restraint techniques require knowledge of the technique, a quick escape plan and trust (that goes both ways.)