Reason First: Did Having Sex with an Alleged 2,000 Women Make a Man Out of Lamar Odom?

Ex NBA player Lamar Odom’s confession that he engaged in sexual relations with more than 2,000 women points to the issue of manhood. Even if this count is true which is dubious, it’s not a good sign. While he claims that he is a “sex addict” the truth is that there is no such thing. Having sex with scores of women does not make a man out of anyone. It makes you a hunk of flesh guided by whatever whim that points you to the next female. The psychology of his actions is for his psychiatrist to determine, but the term “sex addict” is an anti-concept. It has no definition. One might be a whim worshipper and get kicks from coital relations but that is not the same as some who remain addicted to drugs. Speaking of which, Odom claims that the sexual promiscuity triggered his drug habit. In all of the subjective ways that a male might find himself, Odom has crossed that threshold. To say that the action of laying down with women lead to a cocaine addiction is purely based on feelings. As he emoted about becoming a licentious person and adding that drugs merely supplemented the situation.

Odom failed to realize what most males (not men) also never grasp. That is that having sex with dozens or scores of women does not make you a man. The promiscuity makes a mockery of the physical and spiritual act. Odom has committed a moral infraction on both fronts. And to cheat on former wife Khloe Kardashian, that just puts a cap on the whole situation. Without using his mind, Odom simply felt his way into the laps of all of these women. Like a dog who seeks to obtain as many treats as possible, the gluttony of the flesh lead him to air out his sordid life. He must face the future knowing that he did not fortify his position as a man by marking over 2,000 notches in his bedpost. In a proper, romantic relationship, a man is supposed to have an open dialogue with his spouse. He is not supposed to walk around wantonly. “It’s to boost his self esteem” one might say. That is a grave error to consider that pride in one’s morals, ethics, and values should be undermined by so grotesque a pronouncement. A man becomes a man by his own principles and virtues. He then seeks a partner to experience the joy of sex. No expression of happiness, maybe relief, can be found in Odom’s high count of sexual partners. Like an animal programmed to stalk and fornicate with its own species, Odom sniffed out these women. What he has demonstrated is that he is either unwilling or unable to control his carnal desires. Sex is too precious for it to be cheapened by accumulating woman after woman. It should not be about conquest but connection. Odom’s issue is with rationality. His moral condemnation lies in the fact that he did not see these women as full, human beings but sex objects to satisfy his lustful nature.

But more than likely, he will seek the unknown and unknowable for “guidance” and “direction.” He’ll probably drop to his knees and plead for forgiveness. This code of morality stands for separating consciousness from the body. This idea holds that the mind is impotent and body as something soiled. It's either that or he'll seek out society. With such a distorted view of man’s life, Odom felt, like others, that he could handle his wicked ways. To draw a line between the physical and matters of the soul is to leave men in a conflict between what is proper and what is profane. That is why some Americans repress like Puritans in the street but become deviants in the bedroom. Or, like Odom, they search for fulfillment by way of the calls of the flesh, never integrating the most important factor in any case: the mind. Sex provides an intense, personal, and if it is good, a joyous encounter. But the body and mind ought to be in synch in order for the sex to be worth anything. It is with a cognitive brain that a man or woman can participate in any sort significant sexual act. The mind is what drives the body to not just go through the motions but to experience a complete human and enduring embrace of values. It appears that Lamar Odom has failed in this case.

Maybe his story will not inspire youth to learn from him. Virtue is the only way that Odom can recover his manhood. By subscribing to a proper morality that will set him on the right course, he might still have the opportunity to be a real man. If he chases away the hordes of women and focuses on one at a time, he could discover that life can be full with rational sex and no narcotics or other substances that could lead him to his permanent downfall. As long as he’s still breathing, he has a chance.