Lena Bailey
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Play Buddies and FWB

Don't catch feelings.

I really want to continue doing posts on how to do certain dynamics or teach you about certain dynamics. This one will be really simple and might be enlightening to some of you. So let's jump in, shall we? If you don't know what play buddies are, it's just what it sounds like. It's when two adults decide to do sexual stuff to each other but maybe not go all the way. If they go all the way, it may evolve to friends with benefits (FWB)  possibly. Friends with benefits is where two friends (again adults) decide to maintain a friendship but fuck and maybe play on occasion. There's different variations of this, but this is the main dynamic of this variety.

If you want to have one of these dynamics, here is what you need to know or need to do: First, find you a buddy that you wouldn't mind doing this with. Also, make sure that you guys are both of legal age. I honestly don't think most teenagers are emotionally mature enough to handle dynamics like these. Also make sure you have a plan for when things get weird or you catch feelings. Basically make sure you can possibly be OK with having an awkward friendship, lose this friend, or fall in love with them—or have a plan for when that happens. Also make sure you can keep this as carefree and drama free as humanly possibly. It may be smart to have a plan for when you or your buddy start to date other people, if you want to date others. 

What you don't want is for either of you go fatal attraction. You also don't want this to be a chore or for it to be not fun. This should be fun and a good form of stress relief. Feelings sometimes do get involved, so be careful. Some people go into these types of dynamics so they can avoid feelings.

Another thing we need to talk about with these dynamics is protection. Hetero FWB and play buddies need to think about birth control. What people don't think about is when they or their partner are on the pill, there is a sugar pill week where you or your partner can get pregnant. You still need other forms of protection.

All couples need to think about oral dams if they are worried about STD/STIs. Oral dams are like condoms for your tongue. Look it up on youtube. A lot of couples forget oral sex can still pass STDs/STIs so they forget to protect themselves during oral and anal. Condoms and oral dams are your best friends in dating and sexual experiences.

I know some people want kids, some don't. The one thing both camps can agree on is if they do have kids, they don't want to have kids out of a friends with benefits or a play buddy relationship. It can complicate things. You want to have a kid in a committed, loving relationship with two people who want more than just sex or play. 

Also, remember clean all or any toys that you use, especially if you have multiple play buddies or friends with benefits. There's great antibacterial cleaner for toys. Toys can pass diseases too. Things like floggers or paddles may be safe, so you may not need to clean them. Anything that goes in the body will need to be cleaned. I recommend the foaming antibacterial cleaner. I know starship has a good one.

Now FWB or play buddies can move into a more serious relationship. It's rare but it can happen. When it happens, it can be fun and cool.

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Play Buddies and FWB
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