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Of Porn and Shame

Are they inextricably linked?

By Boxy WildePublished 7 years ago 2 min read
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Millions of people around the world use porn, that is an established fact [1], and I don't see a problem with it per se. However, what is disturbing, and you don't need to be on the internet long to realise it, is that most porn in no way reflects the type of sexual scenarios the average of these millions of people is going to experience.

More over, many of the acts portrayed are more or less frowned upon. And this ranges from displays of promiscuity, adultery to scenes involving elderly persons, transgendered persons, BDSM etc.. How can it be that the social trends we observe in our everyday life and the moral values we uphold are in such conflict with desires expressed upon which pornographic companies thrive?

I fear sometimes I'm surrounded by hypocrites who on one hand watch "sluts gone wild" and then happily live their lives thinking that promiscuous women are whores. It disgusts me to think that someone secretly watches "tranny" porn, but in real life doesn't think twice about the problems faced by transgendered children when they come of age. I'm repulsed thinking that there may well be people who joyfully jerk off to interracial gang bangs but on the other hand support neither polygamy nor interracial marriage.

But it's even worse than this. Not only are people ignorant and apathetic about the nature of the people and scenarios they just watched, they feel guilty about enjoying it. Quickly after their climax they revert back to their old, socially acceptable selves and feel shame for the "abhorrent" stuff they just feasted their eyes on. A due punishment it seems which shall only serve to remind them that they should stay quiet about these devious desires and pretend that all is good with society and that those who don't fit in only have themselves to blame.

I know this to be true. In fact, I have been doing it myself. And even now, I don't think my enjoyment of what is commonly referred to as sexual deviancy reflects well upon the work I do to support those that actually face discrimination for being and acting in that fashion. Life is difficult and we can't all be activists fighting for equality for all at all times. For the most part, we are bound in our own personal cages and rarely fully perceive.

I don't pretend I have all the answers, but I believe everyone who experiences porn shame should give the following a shot:
  1. Picture the people you just watched perform in your porn. Picture their experiences, their lives, fears, joys and their struggle.
  2. Realise how they are humans and that nothing they did or can do can take that away from them - they are wonderful just the way they are.
  3. Realise the same holds true for you.
[1] Internet Pornography Statistics
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