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My Worst Sex

Sadly

Photo by Cammy Blue

Of my 15 partners, there are a two I would consider telling to never touch a woman again. I am an advocate for size doesn't matter during sex, so none of these men had that problem, but MAN did they have something wrong with them.

Man #1 (Steroid Stan)

The story of how we met is too long to explain, but let's just say we got into a verbal fight the first night we met. I am not sure why verbal fights make me so horny but, it does. Days after we had met, I saw him at a bar really late. I was the first to bring up the sexual tension among us, and he agreed immediately. So we decided to go back to his place. Now I knew he was a very fit guy by just looking at him, but I didn’t know he was one of those gym body builders. (I wish I would’ve.) Anyway, we get back to his apartment and I was assuming we would head to the bedroom. NOPE. He goes into his kitchen and gets out one of those meal prep containers. He starts cooking grilled chicken and green beans (doesn’t offer me any). I am utterly confused at the moment, but I understand drunk hunger. I wait for around an hour, and he is still eating along with a protein shake. After he was done FINALLY, we head to the bedroom. Things start heating up but he stops me to do something. He puts a Fitbit on, and this time I actually asked why. His response haunts me, “I only have a few calories I should lose tonight, I’m gonna stop when I reach it.” I was shocked. Speechless actually. I got up and just stared at him in disgust. He chased after me as I walked out the door. My last words to him were, “You will never see my face again.” And indeed he didn’t, but for the next two weeks or so he would ask me on these extravagant dates, I always declined.

Man #2 (Rough Randy)

Although I wrote about liking to be choked, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain for me. I met Rough Randy on Tinder. It was my first attempt at the online hookup thing, and let's just say I was desperate for some sex in my life. So we chatted for a while on the app, but we both knew what we wanted. I asked him when and where he wanted to meet, and we decided to go to a bar. I was very happy about this because who doesn’t want a little alcohol courage. Hours pass and we finally meet at the bar, I am the perfect drunk. I waste no time and bring up going home, and we do. We get back to his place and honestly he had a horrible personality, so I started kissing him so he wouldn’t be able to keep talking to me. Blah blah we get to the good stuff and then…. he smacks my butt so hard I could feel it stinging. I thought maybe it would be a one-time thing, but NO he did it again and again. Eventually I told him to stop because it hurt so bad. I just wanted penetration, that was all! So we finally got back to what I wanted, when suddenly he threw me ON THE FLOOR and placed me on top of him. He started jack hammering the shit out of me (you know). At this point it was just aggressive and I wanted to stop, so I said I was tired. We go back on the bed and are laying there, he does stop but he is on top of me at this point just kissing me. As I open my mouth to tell him I am leaving, HIS SWEAT DRIPS INTO MY MOUTH. I am so done with him, I get up put my clothes on and walk home. And we never spoke again.

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