My BDSM Horror Story Update

Here is a link to the first post if you want to read it: https://vocal.media/filthy/my-bdsm-horror-story

There is a trigger warning on this post if you are sensitive to BDSM, sex, abuse and assault this post is not for you.

I want to start this post off by saying that I am not making any of this up to get attention. I'm doing this so that people will feel like they aren't alone. I want people to be aware that this happens. I also want people to look for the signs. I will mention a new person but this new person decided to block me and possibly ignore my warnings so I think this is fair game to talk about.

If you read my last post about this ex, you know that it was a rough poly BDSM situation. Everyone I mention this couple to agrees that it is not a good situation and that I should warn people about them. So I did just that. I saw that this girl had become friends with the ex and I warned her about how awful they were. She asked me if they respected my boundaries and granted safe words, I said yes. In reality, that is a great question but when they have so many other dangerous traits or habits that question or good qualities should take a back seat. The fact that I am scared of running into them should tell anyone more about them than if he respected safe words and boundaries. After I let her read the story I wrote about the couple, she blocked me. I don't know if it was because she thought I was lying or because he had said something to her.

What I forgot about him is that if you warn anyone in his life about him, he will twist things to make you look bad. I am sure he did that with me. When I was still his friend I told him that I no longer wanted to be his friend because I had heard somethings about him that made me think it's best that I walked away. He also told me I was always playing the victim which is laughable because I never once played a victim with him. The only thing I said to him that he could construe as me playing is me staying things like "You always do this ... Your current is insane ... I could have stayed if you hadn't had done this." I don't view that as me playing victim. That is me telling the truth. He also told me all this stuff about who he thought warned me about him. I can't imagine what he told anyone about me because I know what he told me about others and how off-base it was. I tend to believe everyone else, but the two of them. They lie to each other so what would stop them from lying to others.

One thing that I don't know if I mentioned in my last post about him is that he thinks the only problem with 50 Shades is that it was too tame. I know all the true BDSM people are rolling their eyes or fussing right about now. What we all have to be aware of is that 50 Shades of Grey was written by a vanilla woman for other vanilla women so yeah it's going to be a tad bit tame. There is so much wrong with 50 Shades. I am wary of any person in the lifestyle who doesn't have any other issues with 50 Shades than it's too tame.

I hadn't talked to him since this all happened besides making a snarky comment to him about this situation, but then I blocked him from contacting me. This whole lifestyle is about exploring a side of yourself, but it is also about protecting each other and warning against people who can cause harm to others. I had someone warn me against someone and I am so grateful for that warning. The warning I received saved me from an abusive drunk. I hope the girl I warned will wise up and be safe.

Again, I am not saying any of this to put someone down, but to tell what happened and to make people aware that this is wrong ... But, it happens.