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This does not apply to everyone. Especially people who just love having sex.
I've been married two and a half years now. Sex has been a bit of a struggle for me. He is very aware of that fact, and yet, nothing changes. Ever.
Being raised in a strong Christian household is where I will start. I am not blaming it on that, as I throughly enjoyed my childhood and adult years living in my mother's house. But we were told we were not to have sex until we were married. That was a major rule. I followed it until I was 19, and then shit hit the fan.
I am very proud to say that except for my husband, I've had sex with one other guy. I knew he wasn't the one, but there was pressure there. You can read more about that in "R." For now, we're focusing on a current situation.
I was so excited to get married, you seemed like an amazing guy, and you checked off almost every box on my list. I never thought that things would change so drastically once those rings were on my finger.
Currently, we have sex maybe two to three times per week. Honey, I know you want it more, I can see it every night on your face when I get home from work and when we go to bed. I think we are having it a normal amount, especially for being way past the honeymoon stage of out marriage.
I am sure you beg to differ. There is an amazing amount of expectation there. I always feel bad if you don't finish, even though you tell me it's not my fault. I am expected to give you a blowjob every now and again, which you know I hate doing. My arm and hands get so tired so fast, too, even though it seems like you would rather have it that way then have sex. Weird. You would probably love if we did it everyday. It would drive me insane. I am not the type of girl that wants to have sex everyday. I might have felt different when I was at the ripe age of 19, but now not so much. Trust me, it is not your fault. I just get so tired so easily now.
When I was 19, just up to about the time I met you, I would have loved to have sex everyday. Things just change, you know. I'm 25 now and I know that doesn't seem like that long ago, but things have changed. A lot.
Anyways, at least you let me have time to prepare. You will text me at work about how "sexy" you think I am. Well, I don't think that is sexy at all. It just seems like we are on different levels when it comes to this.
Also, this certain aspect of marriage cannot help but be a comparison. Whether it be between you and your friends or mine. There is always a constant comparison and shared experiences. Everybody else seems to be sex crazed while I would rather do anything but that. It is truly terrible that I'm jealous of my single friends, is it not?
Don't get me wrong, in other ways you are amazing! You always offer to pleasure me, and I really never want to. But you're used to rejection in that department. I don't know if I have an issue or if I'm just never in the mood. It's hard to say. Sometimes you just seem to want to do that instead of have sex. I will never understand why.
To really just wrap this very broad subject I would like to mention:
When sex is a problem, it takes over 80 percent of your relationship; when it is not, it only takes up 20 percent.
Just let that sink in.