Losing My Virginity in Public

As a teen, I wasn't overly into sports. I wasn't one of the many kids at my school with an obsession for skating, or surfing, or passive activities like watching anime or playing video games. I wasn't a big reader nor addicted to the cinema. I found the other boys at my high school were interested in a wide variety of things, but myself, I only cared for the girls.

Unfortunately for me, I wasn't any good at even talking to the fairer sex. When it came to flirting, I was about as clumsy as a dizzy and drunken acrobat doing their routine with an asleep leg and a pounding headache. Worse still, by having an incredibly loud mouth (both a voice far opposite of quiet and an inability to shut up, regardless how big of a grave I'm digging myself), the girls at my school knew I wasn't interested in anything serious, and that I was maybe a little too serious with my interest. That was before YouTube became the biggest parent in the world, morally corrupting its children and transforming them into slutty little pill addicts. I was born before my time..........But I digress. This is supposed to be happy story time, not my lamenting over the state of our planet and the lack of morality the youth happen to suffer from. A good friend of mine, to protect the innocent we'll call him Harold Davis of San Juan Capistrano, CA, 23871 El Camino Real Street, 92675, was going to his girlfriend's birthday party and had invited me along. His girlfriend, a future mother, wife, adulteress and meth addict, went to a private school a few towns away from where Harold and I lived and went to school. Her friends from this Catholic academy were all girls who, even at the tender ages of 14-15, could have been staff writers for High Times or Whiskey Magazine. They too were ahead of their time. Even better than their adult attitude towards living as a child, these girls were 100 percent unaware of my reputation (although had they been aware of it, I doubt it would have cost me any points with them).

There were three of them, besides Harold and his girlfriend and myself; a blonde, a pale brunette and a tan brunette. While none of them were overly attractive, none of them were grotesque to the point where I wasn't interested. What I was though, was stumped. I had no idea which to flirt with; I knew one of these girls would put out for me, but I just hadn't a clue which. Now that I'm older, I know now that if a group of ladies who are friends are all interested in you, you're supposed to bed them all, but at my tender young age, I was ignorant to the ways of the world. Luckily for me, these girls weren't afraid to take charge, and I had one pick me instead.

She started off rubbing my shoulders and telling me how good I smelled. We were at a local bowling alley, sitting outside on a bench chain smoking Camel cigarettes. I had the Old Spice deodorant on thick, reeked of tobacco, and had previously spilled some gin on my pants which caused a homeless stench which wasn't going away. Which was fine, as it reminded her of her father to the point where she was more than interested, she was determined.

Feeling rather cocky after my shoulder rub, I asked her if she wanted to make a wager for our upcoming bowling game. She excitedly said yes, and asked what we were betting. I told her that the winner gets to pick the first position when we fornicate (I didn't use that word) later that evening. Again, she excitedly said yes. Being a much better bowler than a compassionate and romantic human being, I decimated her score and claimed victory without breaking a sweat. She seemed happy about this, which confused me, as I didn't learn until later women prefer it if you make all their decisions for them.

After bowling, we all got a quick dinner of a couple stolen six packs of beer before heading to a local movie theater. To time stamp this piece, we went to go see Harvey Weinstein apologist Matt Damon star in TheTalented Mr. Ripley, a film where he plays a sociopath and probably didn't require too much acting on Mr. Damon's part. As the lights in the theater dimmed, the girl (whose name I can't remember for the life of me, smh) and I were already about ten minutes into an epic make out session. I didn't learn this till after the bowling, but the tan brunette wasn't a member of the Catholic School for bad girls, but someone mere days away from being shipped off to a boarding school in Arizona. With this looming in her future, she was very likely just as desperate for sex as I was.

I couldn't tell you how far into the movie I made it before removing my tongue from her mouth and asking her as tenderly as I possibly could "Do you wanna take my virginity?" (side note: this works on girls like a charm, lose your virginity as many times as possible before you're too old to say you're a virgin anymore). She of course excitedly said yes, as was the trend for the evening when I'd ask her near anything it seemed.

I was finally about to have sex! My heart was pumping out of my chest; my virginity is something I had been trying to ditch like Roy Moore trying to get rid of the public perception of him being a pedophile. But the real question was where to do it! We wondered around the mall which housed the cinema, until we gave up and decided on a bathroom in a far end of the complex. The handicap stall had our names written on it, it was the toilet version of a king sized bed as opposed to the twin mattresses the other stalls would have provided.

Tracey! Or maybe Stacey! Sorry, I think I remembered her name but I didn't feel like going back to edit.

Once the love making began, there really isn't much to the story, outside of the ten minutes or so we had to be extra quiet as some kids younger than us had a armpit fart contest in the bathroom about halfway into our sexual encounter. We enjoyed each other's company for well over an hour, and as we were leaving, a janitor walked into the bathroom, spawning massive laughs from the two of us.

I never saw Tracey or Stacey or whatever her name was again. Maybe she's dead. Perhaps, she'll read this article and recall our liaison. I doubt I'd recognize her even if she took my order at Burger King, but then again, I have a hard time imagining her with a job that requires as much responsibility as BK. Amusingly enough, as I went to school the next week, the story had changed from my taking a girl into a handicap stall to me taking a handicap girl into a normal stall. This made little sense to me, as why would you take a handicap girl into a normal stall? They can use the handicap stalls, I'd imagine that is an advantage to public sex with the handicapped. My reputation far worse than before getting laid, but oh well. Unbeknownst to me, I coincidentally was going to be sent to a boarding school in Arizona in a matter of months. I was statutory raped by a hot 18-year-old within my first two weeks there, but that's a story for another time.